Lee Weeks - Cold as Ice

After they’d left Christian turned to Ebony. ‘I’m sorry about that.’

She shrugged. ‘About what?’ She looked like she didn’t really understand what he was getting at.

‘They’re a couple of party animals. I bet they won’t be alone long.’

Ebony frowned. ‘Looked like Julie was hoping you’d be meeting up with her later.’

‘Huh…’ he scoffed, embarrassed. ‘She can hope all she likes.’ Ebony smiled into her drink. ‘Okay… I admit it. We have a tiny bit of history, me and Julie.

Ebony’s eyes opened wide. ‘Really?’

‘Yeah.’ Christian laughed. ‘No need to take the piss.’

She smiled.

‘You’ve made a habit of dating the women on your course then?’

He shrugged and gave her a sideways glance, grinning. ‘Seriously? What can I say? I’m in the market for a relationship.’

‘You don’t have any trouble finding them – obviously there are lots of willing victims?’ He grinned but his eyes had turned hostile. Ebony tried one more push. She wanted to see what buttons he had and how much they took pushing. ‘You are a grass greener type?’

He took a drink, his eyes fastened on hers as if he was trying to read her and the atmosphere became a little strained.

‘I’ve had a few relationships along the way. Just not found the one I’m looking for yet but I don’t believe in giving up.’

‘What are you looking for?’

He shrugged irritably. ‘Not looks.’ He flashed her a look which said obviously. ‘It’s about personality, compatibility, making each other laugh – great sex.’ His eyes stayed on hers, they had softened again. Ebony blushed and looked away. Even though she was getting the attention by false means it didn’t stop it feeling a bit too real. He smiled at her embarrassment. ‘I have lots of boxes that need ticking – I have a kid, after all.’

‘Is that why you choose single parents?’

‘Whoa…’ he scowled – getting irritated. Ebony thought she’d pushed too hard.

‘You make it sound like I prey on them.’ He took a drink. ‘Which, of course, I don’t. I don’t just date single parents. It just so happens that I’m at college with a lot of them.’ He started playing with his beer mat, beginning to look over her shoulder and around the bar.

‘Sorry, not my business.’ She took a drink.

‘Look – bottom line.’ Christian smiled and nodded, relaxed. ‘I date women on my course as well as others – it’s no big deal. I have great respect for anyone who wants to change their life around.’

Ebony was nodding, thinking of what to say. Christian stared at his glass and flashed the odd glance towards Ebony to gauge her reaction.

‘I never intended to split with Elsie’s mum. It wasn’t just up to me. I really tried to make it work. I know what it’s like not to have a mum on the scene full time. My mother didn’t exist for me. She went off to fuck her way around Europe. She left me in boarding school and when I got chucked out of there, I lived with my dad, who couldn’t have cared less either.’ He paused; finished his drink and poured the rest of the bottle into his glass and then looked across at her and smiled.

‘The college, the people on the courses, they are my friends. I get close to some of them and we end up having a bit of fun together – where’s the harm in that? It’s all fun. I don’t usually have to justify myself this much?’ He raised an eyebrow and gave her a cheeky smile.

Ebony turned away, smiling, but wondering whether she should ask him how he felt about breaking hearts that had already been broken in some cases, and preying on the vulnerable. But she resisted. She had to remember who she was supposed to be. She thought about the character traits that Hawk had exposed. Could Christian kill, torture? Could he hate women that much? Hawk was clever and manipulative. He had a warped sense of women and motherhood. Christian fitted the bill.

‘How long have you been on the course?’ she asked, leaving those thoughts for the moment. She felt as if she were floundering a little. She needed to give herself time to recover and get back into seduction mode.

‘Seems like forever,’ he answered, a little deflated, bored. ‘I never seem to get to the end. I change my mind about what I want to do and then start in a new direction.’

Like you do with women, thought Ebony. ‘Sounds expensive,’ she said.

‘It is. But I don’t have many overheads and I’m lucky enough to be good at poker.’ Ebony raised an eyebrow. ‘I play it online. It fits into my lifestyle and Elsie’s. But it’s a bit of a lonely existence.’ He paused, played with his glass, looked at Ebony. She wondered if I’m lonely was one of his standard pick-up lines.

‘What about Elsie’s mum?’ she asked.

‘We share childcare. I have Elsie for half the week and every other weekend.’

‘And normally you’re out clubbing with Selena and Julie on your “other” weekend?’

‘No…’ He laughed. ‘I can see you’ve formed the wrong impression of me. I like to have fun now and again but Elsie is my life and everything I do is for her. I don’t have time for much else. Yeah… I went back to Julie’s a couple of times and we had fun but she isn’t my type and I’m not hers if she’s honest. What about you? You’re just starting dating again then?’ She nodded.

‘Yeah – it’s scary but it feels right.’

‘What made you call it a day with Archie’s dad?’

‘He was abusive. He was in trouble in Jamaica. He was controlling. He got nasty with me. I just decided I didn’t want to live my life bullied. Archie needed me to be strong.’

‘You seem like the naturally strong type to me. Can’t imagine you put up with much shit.’ He was staring straight at her. Ebony thought she’d been doing well up till then. She needed to dig deep inside her past to come up with what it felt like to take abuse. She didn’t have to search her memory for long before she was back, cornered by her mum, by the bullies in the care home and the staff who were cruel, taking the pain; blaming herself for not stepping out of the way quick enough. Blaming herself for leaving it just that one second too late to run away. The less she struggled the sooner it would be over. The care home could be very tough. She’d been in three different ones altogether. In between that she was with foster carers or back with her mother. Anywhere Ebony looked there was trouble of one kind or another. The only respite she ever had was when she went to a foster couple called the Bennets; they had grown-up kids. They spent their lives giving temporary homes to kids like Ebony. The one thing Ebony always knew was that she wasn’t unique. There were thousands of kids like her in the UK. The day when she had to leave the Bennets was a sad one but she swallowed the sadness and she didn’t cry. It felt like one more kick in the stomach. Then she turned up in the home and things were bad, worse than they’d ever been, until Micky came along.

‘I learnt to take it,’ she said to Christian.

‘Sorry. I didn’t mean to make you so sad. I can see how much it still affects you.’ He put his hand on hers. She looked at it. Was it a hand that strangled? They were strong hands and they felt rough. Not poker player’s soft hands. He saw her hesitate. ‘Sorry – rough hands. Been making Elsie a dolls house for Christmas.’

‘Ahhh.’ Ebony said responding as required. She turned his hand over and saw the ring of a blister. ‘Is that a burn?’

‘Yes.’ He withdrew his hand. ‘The things you do for love, huh? That was welding the tiny iron railing for the front of the house. Did you decide enough was enough with your ex? Thought you could do better?’ He tilted his head back as if studying her. She nodded and he sat back and continued staring at her, his arms folded across his chest. ‘You’re a strange one, if I’m honest. You’re not what I expected. Maybe it’s because you have spent your adult years living abroad, you just don’t seem to fit here, that’s all. You are a hard person to get close to, but a nut worth cracking, I think.’ He smiled. ‘If you’ll let me?’