Alex Barclay - Blood Runs Cold

‘It was thirty years ago,’ said Wardwell. ‘Yes, I had those magazines, I admitted it almost immediately — ’

‘Almost. Meaning, when the police arrived at your door, raided your home, found them — ’

‘I admitted it, yes. I couldn’t have admitted it any sooner, could I?’

‘No. I guess a pedophile doesn’t really go around admitting to much, does he? A pedophile only gets the title pedophile when he’s caught, right? Y’all don’t call each other up, saying, “Hey, pedophile, me and some of the other pedophiles are getting together tonight for a little bowling …”’

‘Stop. Please,’ said Wardwell.

‘Aw,’ said Ren. She glanced at Gressett; can you believe this guy ? and turned back to Wardwell. ‘I’ve been here before. You will explain to me how it’s normal, you love these kids, they love you, the Romans were at it left and right, society will swing back that way. And I could, for the sake of this interrogation process, pretend that I don’t think that that’s entirely unreasonable, that maybe you could actually have a point. But I’m really not in the humor. I don’t know, but I’m kind of a fan of kids having a childhood.’

‘I never laid a finger on one child. It was a couple of magazines,’ shouted Wardwell. ‘And one video tape — ’

‘If everyone in the world had one video tape of one child being abused …’ said Ren. ‘And who knows what was under your floorboards or up in a cabin somewhere or in a lockbox or in a — ’

‘You searched everywhere,’ he shouted. ‘You turned my house upside down. You turned my life upside down — ’

She leaned into him. ‘You pathetic little pricks always blame someone else.’

Gressett stood up. ‘Agent Bryce.’

She turned to him, her eyes on fire, then leaned down into his ear and whispered, ‘Oh, come on.’

‘Agent Bryce.’ Gressett slid his chair back a fraction.

When Ren turned back to Malcolm Wardwell, he was nodding.

‘What are you nodding about?’ said Ren.

‘I … I …’ He started tapping the side of his thumb with three fingers.

‘What,’ she shouted, ‘is with all the tapping?’

‘It calms me down,’ said Wardwell.

‘Glad someone’s calm. And can I say something? How, really, was your life turned upside down? You got a blink-and-you’d-miss-it sentence, your wife took you back, you still get to run your successful business and you’re lucky enough that people come in and out of this town so much that most of them don’t even know your secret, and half of those who do are so loyal to your wife that they don’t shun you. And the other half just seem to avoid your store, so you lose a few customers; big deal. What about the children you people “love”? Now, there’s some destroyed lives for you.’ She paused and looked at his eyes. ‘Oh, come on, don’t you pull that shit on me — ’

‘Agent Bryce,’ said Gressett, standing up. He lowered his voice. ‘Please. Can we talk outside a minute?’

Ren took a breath. ‘Sure.’ She turned to Wardwell. ‘We’ll be back. You can use your moisture — wicking sleeve to wipe those tears.’

She followed Gressett out the door and closed it softly behind her.

‘Are you … all right?’ said Gressett.

‘Me? I could give two shits.’

‘Jesus … is there something else going on here?’

‘What?’ said Ren. ‘This is a man with a stash of picture-book kiddie porn and fucking caribou hunts with his own special interludes and you think this is personal ? This is not personal , you …’ She paused. ‘If I was a male agent — ’

‘I wasn’t asking you if — ’

‘What were you asking? What does “is there something else going on here?” mean, then? Oh, right … is it my time of the month, is that why I’m so angry?’

‘Calm down,’ said Gressett. His voice was surprisingly gentle. ‘Where are you going with all this? I grew up with a single mom and four sisters … I was just saying, your anger seems — ’

‘Do not say out of proportion,’ said Ren, taking a step toward him. ‘It’s … these people drive me crazy. If I see one more of them weep in front of me …’ She paused. ‘How appropriate the crocodile tears. Crocodile — the only predator on earth to remain virtually unchanged since the time of the dinosaurs …’

Gressett conceded a smile. ‘Just don’t let your anger cancel out your professionalism. That’s all. I could give two hoots about that guy myself. I was just worried that vein on your temple was finally going to blow.’

‘Oh no — I need that vein. It hypnotizes people.’

Gressett smiled.

‘I know about you and Jean,’ said Ren.

‘What?’

‘I know you were in love with her,’ said Ren.

He opened his mouth to deny it, but Ren hoped that the look on her face had only compassion.

‘You had such a bad reaction that time to the idea she was gay,’ said Ren, ‘I thought you were homophobic, but it’s been clear since then that you’re not — you just didn’t want to think you had spent all that time loving her for what you would have seen as no reason and that you may never have found out if she was. Over the past six months I’ve seen how you are grieving. And that photo you gave me for her file was very touching. You wouldn’t come to the autopsy. And then there was me … you hated the idea of me taking her place.’

Gressett looked away.

‘Even though I had never, even for a second, thought I could,’ said Ren.

For a moment, neither of them spoke.

‘Did you ever tell her?’ said Ren.

‘I didn’t get the chance.’

Bob stuck his head in the door of the office. Robbie and Ren were sitting on Cliff’s desk, talking. Gressett was keeping his head down at the computer in the corner.

‘Ren, why don’t you stop by my office a minute?’ said Bob.

‘Sure. Now?’

‘That would be great.’

They went in and sat down.

‘You know I like you, right?’ said Bob. His tone was one she had never heard from him before.

‘Sure, Bob … I like you too.’ She smiled.

‘Then can you explain to me what the hell you were doing with Malcolm Wardwell?’

‘I … was interrogating him.’

Gary knocked and came in. He threw Ren a look, then turned back to Bob. ‘My apologies for all this, Bob.’ He sat down.

‘Well, when I spoke to an “irate” Mr Wardwell earlier, it didn’t sound quite so much like an interrogation to me as an abusive rant,’ said Bob.

‘Interesting,’ said Ren. ‘Irate with you, a pussy with me …’

Bob looked at Gary. ‘Jesus, aren’t you guys trained to get shit out of people in a … gentle way? Aren’t we the ones supposed to go in all guns blazing?’

‘Ren, this really sounded bad,’ said Gary. ‘It sounded nasty and personal and — ’

‘It was personal,’ said Ren, trying to file down the edge in her voice. Make up something worthy . ‘It is personal to me when a fellow agent is murdered, a woman my age. And I’m leading the case.’

‘The man is threatening to sue,’ said Bob. He clicked his fingers, ‘Like that. I mean, I do not need this right now.’ Bob’s phone beeped. ‘Excuse me,’ he said, leaving the room.

Ren turned to Gary. ‘I could argue that, say, for example, local businessman, Mr Wardwell had provided money to Sheriff Gage’s election campaign, that that would be personal too.’

‘Is that a fact?’ said Gary.

‘“Say, for example” is how I started the sentence.’ She said it like a question.

Gary shook his head slowly. ‘You sound like my teenage daughter. Who, God forgive me, I would be afraid to bring to the summer picnic she has such an attitude problem. Go take a break somewhere, Ren. I’ll finish this up with Bob.’