Simon Beckett - Fine Lines

I handed him his drink and tried to appear relaxed. “So,” I said. “What happened this afternoon?”

He took a heavy mouthful of whisky. His jaw muscles bunched and worked.

“The bitch blew me out.”

The room seemed to tilt. I stared at him. “What do you mean?”

“I mean she said no.”

“No?”

“Yes, no! Christ, do you want me to spell it out?”

I still could not accept it. “She actually turned you down?”

“Yes! She actually turned me down! Is that clear enough now?”

It was beginning to be. I sat opposite him. “Why?”

“Because the stupid bitch won’t two-time that scrawny little prick, that’s why!”

“You surely didn’t ask her as bluntly as that?”

He sneered at me. “Oh, credit me with a bit of sense! Of course I didn’t! I didn’t have to, she stubbed me out before I had a chance to ask anything!”

I closed my eyes, kneading them. “I think you’d better tell me exactly what happened.”

“I want another drink first.”

I took his glass and refilled it, topping up my own as well. Zeppo received it back without thanks.

“She must have been expecting something,” he said, after swallowing half of it. “It was going fine at first. We were having a laugh, getting along great. Then I asked her if she wanted to go out for a drink with me one night, and she said she didn’t think that would be a good idea. I asked why not, and she said because Marty wouldn’t like it. So I said that he needn’t know, and she just said, “I think I know what you’re leading up to, and I’d rather you didn’t.” I thought she was just playing hard to get, you know, wanting me to coax her, so I gave her the full works, about how I couldn’t help how I felt, and all that sort of shit, but she didn’t budge. She just cut me dead! Came out with crap about how she’d had a feeling this was coming, and that she was flattered, but that she loved Marty, and she’d rather us leave it at that. Then the bitch even had the fucking nerve to say she valued me as a friend! Me! I couldn’t believe it! I felt like knocking that fucking understanding look off her face!”

I was too numb to react to his language. “What did you say to her?”

“What the fuck could I say? She made it pretty plain she didn’t want to play ball. She’s not interested in anyone else except that wimp!”

I took another drink. The spirit seared my stomach. I barely noticed. “So much for your assurances. I thought you said she was “primed and ready”, I think it was?”

“Don’t get fucking smart with me! How was I to know she was a freak? Jesus, I could have a dozen better-looking girls than her just by snapping my fingers!”

“Then it’s a pity she’s as immune to your digits as she is to the rest of you! I knew this was too soon!”

“Oh, and you’re such an expert, aren’t you? If you’re so experienced why don’t you see if you can do any better yourself?”

With an effort, I bit back further recriminations. “I suppose what’s done is done. Arguing isn’t going to change it. We’d better decide what we’re going to do next.”

Zeppo stared moodily into his glass. “What can we do? She’s made it clear she doesn’t want to know.”

“You’re surely not going to give up that easily?”

“You tell me what else we can do, then! If we’d got more time, all right, but we haven’t! She’s emigrating in a few weeks, for fuck’s sake!”

“So that’s it, then? One refusal, and you let yourself be beaten by someone like Marty?”

“It’s not my fault there’s a deadline!”

“Perhaps it’s just as well there is. At least it gives you an excuse.”

“Don’t push it, Donald.”

“I’m not. I’m merely stating the obvious. I expected better from you than this.”

“Tough shit.”

This bickering was getting us nowhere. “There must be something we can do!”

He shrugged. “Short of drugging her, I can’t think of anything.” He looked at me. “That’s not a bad idea, come to think of it.”

“No!” The thought appalled me.

“Suit yourself.” He tossed back the rest of his drink. “I just wish I’d told the bitch that her precious boyfriend is as bent as a butcher’s hook. See how romantic she felt about him then.”

I had forgotten all about that. “You didn’t say anything about it?”

He shook his head. “No, I wish I had. I was so surprised I didn’t think about it until afterwards.” He looked at me, smiling nastily. “Mind you, it’s not too late, is it?”

I took his glass and went to refill it. “Coming from you now, it would only sound like sour grapes.”

“So what? It would still drop Marty in the shit, wouldn’t it? I can’t see her wanting to rush off to America with him then.”

“But what if she already knows? That would finish your chances once and for all.”

He took the glass from me. “They’re not exactly brilliant anyway, are they?”

“No, but if you antagonise her they’ll be even worse.”

He shrugged. “Okay. I’ll get Stevie to do it, then. He’s the one who saw him, after all. We can arrange for him to meet them accidentally, and he can drop it into the conversation.”

I was only half-listening. An idea was starting to form. “I don’t like the idea of involving anyone else. It only complicates things.”

“So what do you suggest? We’ve only got a few weeks left. What else can we do?”

“That depends.” I spoke slowly. “Perhaps we’ve been approaching this from the wrong angle.”

“What do you mean?”

“We’ve been concentrating on seducing Anna away from Marty. We might have better luck trying the other way around.”

He frowned. “You mean work on him again?”

“It’s worth a try. And this time, now we know which way his preferences lie, we can try someone more suitable than your femme fatale.”

Zeppo looked thoughtful. “Yeah, that’s not a bad idea. I could have a word with Stevie. It might cost, but I’m sure we could work something out.”

I swirled the liquid in my glass, choosing my words carefully. “I wasn’t thinking about using him. As I said, I don’t want to involve anyone else.”

Zeppo stared at me. “You better not mean what I think you do.”

“Why not? It seems to make the most sense.”

An incredulous smile spread across his face. “Hang on a minute. Let’s get this straight. Now you want me to try and seduce Marty’? Is that right?”

“In a nutshell, yes.”

He began to laugh. “I’ve got to hand it to you, Donald. You don’t do things by halves, do you? First you hire me to get Anna into bed, and now you want me to try with her boyfriend! Jesus Christ!”

“I realise you’ll probably want a higher fee, of course.”

“Oh, that’s very decent of you. But there’s no need. I’m not doing it.”

“I really think you should reconsider.”

“Forget it.” His laughter had gone. “What the hell do you think I am?”

I made the mistake of trying to be humorous. “To paraphrase an old joke, I think we both know what you are. It’s just the price that’s in doubt.”

Zeppo slammed the glass down. “Get fucked, Donald!” He began to walk to the door.

I followed him. “I’m sorry if I’ve offended you, but I really can’t see where the problem is.”

He turned on me. “Oh, come on! I’m sure even you must have a pretty good idea! She’s a girl. He’s a boy. So am I.”

“Does that make any difference?”

“Of course it fucking does!”

“Is that your only objection?”

“Christ, isn’t that enough?”

I stood up. “Wait here.” I went past him to the door. “Help yourself to another drink.”