Michael Dobbs - The Final Cut

'But Cape Kathikas is a nature reserve. It's meant to be undeveloped. To preserve the orchids and other rare plants.'

The Bishop gesticulated extravagantly, the loose sleeves of his cassock slipping back to reveal surprisingly well-muscled forearms. 'There are a hundred thousand hillsides for the orchids. But only one Cape Kathikas. Let me tell you of my vision…'

Cape Kathikas, it seemed, was an ideal spot not only for the indigenous and exceptionally scarce orchid Ophrys cypria, but also for a twin-hotel resort complete with helipad, golf course, conference centre and marina. The local inhabitants of this westerly cape, after generations of isolation and impoverishment and fuelled by stories of unimagined riches, were enthusiastic to the point of uprising that their small and fruitless plots of land should be transformed into approach roads, sand traps, water hazards, staff quarters and the other accumulated clutter of a Costa del Kypros. And if the Church in the person of Theophilos who owned most of the land were also to benefit hugely, it seemed merely to bestow God's blessing upon their venture.

There was only one other obstacle, apart from the orchids. That was the fact that the Cape was a field firing range for the British military, designated as such under the Treaty of Establishment which had given Cyprus its independence and where for twenty-one days a year the coastal rocks and its offshore environs were peppered with Milan and Swingflre anti-tank missiles. Bound to play merry hell with a high-rise hotel and marina.

'Do you really need a firing range?' Theophilos asked. 'As much as we need an army.'

'Then we shall find you another area for your operations. There must be so many other parts of the island that might be suitable.' 'Such as?'

'The British surely wouldn't stand in the way of us Cypriots developing our economy' the Bishop responded, ducking the direct question. 'It would raise so many unpleasant memories.'

'I thought the objections were being led by Cypriots themselves, the environmentalists. Those who value the area as a national park.'

'A handful of the maudlin and the meddling who have small minds and no imagination. Lunchtime locusts who know wildlife only from what they eat. What about our poor villagers?' 'What about the orchids?' 'Our villagers demand equality with orchids!'

There was no answer to that. Martin offered a conciliatory smile and subsided. Booza-Pitt was gabbling. He did that when he was nervous, to fill in the spaces. He didn't like spaces in a conversation. As a boy they had tormented him, fleeting pauses in which his mother drew breath before continuing with her ceaseless tirade of complaint about her lot in life. So, as a means of defence, he had learnt to launch himself into any conversation, talking across people and above people and about anything. He was an excellent talker, never at a loss for words. Trouble was, he'd never really learnt to listen.

Urquhart had been alone at the great Cabinet Table when Geoffrey had entered the room. The Prime Minister said nothing but as Geoffrey walked to his chair on the opposite side of the table Urquhart's eyes followed him closely, almost as if he were still trying to make a judgement, uncertain, unsettled. And unsettling. So Geoffrey had started talking.

'I've had this idea, Francis. A new set of campaigning initiatives for the Party. Thought about it a lot. Build on the reshuffle, get us going through the rest of the year. I've talked it through with the Party Chairman – I think he's going to put it all in a paper for you. The main point is this…' 'Shut up, Geoffrey.' 'I…' Geoffrey shut up, uncertain how to respond.

'The Chairman has already told me about his campaigning ideas, just before I fired him. I have to say you are an excellent peddler of other people's ideas.' 'Francis, please, you must understand…'

'I understand all too well. I understand you. Perhaps it's because we are a little alike.'

'Are you going to fire me after all?' Geoffrey's tone was subdued, he was trying hard not to beg. 'I've thought about it.'

Booza-Pitt's face, depleted by misery, sank towards his chest.

'But I've decided to make you Home Secretary instead.'

A curious gurgling noise emerged from the back of Booza-Pitt's throat. The prospect of being translated into one of the four most powerful posts in Government at the age of thirty-eight seemed to have snapped his control mechanisms.

They'll say I'm grooming you for the leadership when I've gone. But I'm not. I'm putting you there to stop anyone else using the post to groom himself for the leadership. And to do a job. Using your talents at peddling other people's ideas. My ideas.'

'Anything you say, Francis,' Booza-Pitt managed to croak, throat cracked like the floor of an Arabian wadi.

'We shall soon be facing an election and I've decided to move the goal posts a little. A new Electoral Practices Act. A measure so generous and democratic it'll leave the Opposition breathless.'

Booza-Pitt nodded enthusiastically, with no idea what his leader was talking about.

'I want to make it easier for minority candidates to stand. To allow for…' – Urquhart dropped his voice a semi-tone, as though making a speech – 'a fuller and more balanced representation of the views of the general public. To ensure a Government more firmly rooted in the wishes of the people.' He nodded in self-approval. 'Yes, I like that.' 'But what does it mean?'

'It means that any candidates who get more than two thousand votes will have all their election expenses paid by the State.'

The face of the new Home Secretary had suddenly turned incredulous. 'You're winding me up, Francis. With that on offer every nutter and whinger in the land is going to stand.' 'Precisely.' 'But…'

'But who else would these minorities and malcontents vote for, if not for themselves?'

'Not for us, not even if you lobotomized every single one of them.'

'Well done, Geoffrey. They'd vote for the Opposition. So by encouraging them to stand we'll suck away several thousand votes from the Opposition in practically every constituency. Worth at least fifty seats overall, I reckon.' 'You, you…'

'You're allowed to call me a deviously scheming bastard, if you want. I'd regard it as a compliment.' For the first time in their interview, Urquhart's features had cracked and he was smiling.

'You are a devious, scheming, brilliant bastard, Francis Urquhart.'

'And a great champion of democracy. They will have to say that, all the newspapers, even the Opposition.' 'The updated version of divide and rule.'

'Exactly. We ran an empire on that principle. Should be good enough for one little country. Don't you think, Home Secretary?' A spotlight had been thrown on the box and Theophilos held his arms up high to acknowledge the attentions of the half-time crowd, his robes cascading like dark wings. A great raven, Martin thought, and with similar appetites.

'So may I expect your co-operation and support, Mr Martin?' the cleric continued, casting the question over his shoulder as he offered the sign of the cross in blessing. 'This is a rare opportunity.' 'So are the orchids.'

For a moment the Bishop's arms seemed to freeze in impatience; Dimitri had begun to develop a distinctive lopsided scowl as the conversation turned in circles. He was examining his broad and heavily callused knuckles as though the answer to every problem could somehow be found in the crevices.

'I don't wish to appear unsympathetic' the Englishman continued, glad that his pedigree as a Diplomatic Service Grade 4 enabled him to control most of his outward appearances, particularly those which might convey any measure of disagreement or displeasure. It was not the task of the Foreign amp;. Commonwealth Office to be seen saying no. 'Your problem is not with the British, it's with your own Government. And with the environmentalists.'