Karin Fossum - The Drowned Boy

Sejer noted her body language and the pitch of her voice. She was now very focused and calm, as though she finally felt in control of the difficult situation. But her voice was monotonous, and he knew that this detail could signal distance. That she was keeping something terrible at a distance, which she simply couldn’t face.

“Then I had to go to the bathroom,” she continued. “A chore I had to do in there. It took awhile. And when I came back, he’d gone. He wasn’t sitting on his blanket, and the room was empty. Tommy has just learned to walk,” she explained, “and he’s pretty good. He can get quite far in a minute, and I’d been away for a while. First I ran into the bedroom. I even checked under the comforter, because, you see, I panicked right away. Then I ran out of the house and looked around. But I couldn’t see him anywhere — not in the sandbox, not behind the house. I couldn’t even bear to think about the pond. Even though it was a constant threat, I pushed it out of my mind. But I went down in the end, because I had to look everywhere. And then I saw him by the jetty. He was lying face down under the water. I threw myself into the water without even thinking. I managed to get him out onto the grass. And I shouted as loud as I could for Nicolai. Eventually he came running out in a panic. It was so strange, because I heard the screams, but I didn’t recognize my own voice. Do you know what I mean?”

She stopped talking and put her hand up to wipe away a stray tear.

“But we couldn’t revive him. He was gone. Nicolai called an ambulance and they came really fast, and they tried to revive him as well. They tried and tried for ages, maybe as long as an hour; you should have seen the effort they made. But it didn’t help. No matter what they did, Tommy was gone.”

Sejer sat and listened to the monotone explanation. He was observing her the entire time: her voice, her facial expression, and other signs. She could absolutely be telling the truth. Things like that had happened so many times before, younger and older children falling in the water, mostly when they were playing. But there was also a chance that she was putting it on, acting. She had a theatrical manner that was slightly artificial. And she was certainly very affected, concerned about her appearance and what people thought of her, because her back was straight and her chin tilted up.

“Was Tommy a healthy boy?” he asked.

“Oh yes,” she said with some force. “Yes. He has Down syndrome, but apart from that he’s very healthy. He’s never been sick or anything like that. Well, actually, he did once get an ear infection. And his temperature rocketed, so we had to take him to the ER in the middle of the night. But then he was given some medicine and he got well right away. Well, after a couple of days, that is. But apart from that, nothing.”

“How did the fact that he had Down syndrome affect your daily life? Can you say a bit about that?”

“Well, you know, he needed a bit more help. They develop very slowly and they don’t learn as fast as other children,” she explained. “But I’m sure you knew that.”

“How was it to live in a house by Damtjern with a baby?” Sejer asked. “Were you constantly worried about the pond?”

She nodded and said that it was dangerous with such a young child to have a deep and alluring pond so close to the house.

“But we couldn’t go around being scared all the time,” she said. “After all, plenty of people live by the water. Children grow up by the sea. Two children in two years have drowned down by Stranda. I know things like that happen. And now it’s happened to us.”

“Yes,” he said and nodded. “What you’re saying is true, of course. But I’d like to ask you another question. You’re very young to be a mother. Was Tommy a wanted child? I mean, was he planned?”

“Yes, we wanted him,” she said. “I mean, I didn’t use anything, and neither did Nicolai. So we weren’t exactly surprised to find out I was pregnant. And I was so happy when I saw the test was positive. We were over the moon. We whooped and danced around the kitchen like kids. So, there’s your answer,” she added, with a wan smile. “Of course he was wanted. Wanted with all my heart, you have to believe me.”

“And then,” Sejer continued thoughtfully, “Tommy finally came into the world. Tell me about the pregnancy; what did it feel like to be pregnant? You’ve got such a slim figure and a baby is quite a weight to carry.”

“Oh no,” she livened up and spoke with enthusiasm. “Everything was great. It was an easy pregnancy, and I felt wonderful. Everyone said I looked great too. And I felt absolutely fine the whole time. I didn’t put on much weight either and Tommy only weighed six pounds. Nicolai teased us all the time. Said that Tommy looked like a little buttermilk pudding, all white and smooth.”

“What sort of baby was he?” Sejer asked. “Was he a happy baby?”

“Yes,” she said and nodded. “A very happy baby. He occasionally had trouble sleeping, but we coped. We took turns getting up at night. And sometimes we argued, but generally we coped well.”

“Did you breastfeed him?”

“No, no, I didn’t.”

“Why not? Did you not have milk?”

“I didn’t want to breastfeed,” she said sullenly. “You can see what I look like; I wasn’t made for that sort of thing.” She was referring to her flat chest, where two slight mounds were in evidence under the cropped, tight top.

He noticed a sudden fleeting reluctance, as if he had touched a sore point that she didn’t want to talk about. She clammed up and became unreachable. And he thought, as he looked at the small girl sitting beside him in her ripped jeans, that she was perhaps to blame for her son’s death. That she had done something improper, that she was guilty of a crime. Maybe the very worst kind. He thought like this out of habit; to be fair, it was a hazard of the job. Suspicion. To doubt people. Take nothing for granted. And at the same time he tried not to be judgmental. Then he wondered how, if this really was a murder case, they would ever manage to prove it when there were no witnesses? When the mother claimed that the toddler had gone down to the water on his own when no one was watching him. While she was in the bathroom. And a big filleted fish was lying on the counter.

“He was an adventurous little boy,” Carmen said. “He wanted to explore and look at everything. Inside the house he crawled around at the speed of light. It was hard to keep up with him,” she said, drying a tear. “I was always so worried that he might hurt himself.”

She was over the first hurdle now and could see things from a different angle, what had happened down by the water, the great tragedy. The words flowed easily and she said that she was not to blame and that it was an accident. Sejer made a mental note that she had distanced herself from the tragedy. She was able to keep it at arm’s length, for the moment at least. But it wouldn’t last long, he thought; reality would soon come crashing over her like a wave. What had happened, in all its horror, would stay with her. Every day for the rest of her life. And on the day that she herself lay dying, the day when she no longer had a future, she would think back and remember it in detail. The child face down in the black water.

“How long have you and Nicolai been living together?” he asked in a calm voice.

“Two years,” she replied. “But we’ve been together for four. I was only fifteen when we met. I had a boyfriend before him, but it only lasted for a month, because I couldn’t trust him. So it’s always been us. We work well together. Even though we’re very different, there’s no denying it.”

“Different in what way?”