Эд Макбейн - Let’s Hear It For The Deaf Man

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“ ‘You’ll have to speak louder,’ the voice said. ‘I’m a little hard of hearing.’ ”
What with one thing and another, such as a highly successful cat burglar and what seemed to be a hippie crucifixion, the 87th Precinct didn’t need The Deaf Man. Especially since he’d already put in two previous appearances resulting in blackmail, murder and general havoc. But they had him, certainly, they very definitely had him — or was it he that had them?
This time, The Deaf Man thinks it fitting that a police detective will help him rob a bank. Detective Steve Carella, to be exact. So, each day, he sends Carella a photostat in the morning mail. The first two pictures of J. Edgar Hoover, the next are of George Washington. All are clues, obviously, but what do they mean? Who, where, when and how?
This is tough, taut, funny mystery with a number of very peculiar cases and a most surprising ending, played against Ed McBain’s highly-detailed knowledge of police and detective procedure.

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“Still...”

“I don’t want second thoughts about this, Roger. If you’re not with us, say so now. We won’t be going through the dry run until Thursday, and I won’t reveal the location of the bank until then. You’re free to go. Just have the decency to do it now, while I can still find a replacement.”

“I guess I’m in,” Roger said.

“No guesswork, Roger. Yes or no?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Does the duplicity bother anyone else?”

“I only worry about number one,” Danny said.

“I never met a man I could trust,” Florence said, “and I don’t expect nobody to trust me, either.”

“How about you, Harold?”

“I want that hundred thousand dollars,” Harold said simply.

“Then I take it we’re all committed,” the Deaf Man said.

Patrolman Mike Ingersoll came into the squadroom at four o’clock that afternoon. He had been relieved on post fifteen minutes ago, and had already changed into street attire — brown trousers and tan sports shirt, a poplin, zippered jacket. Kling was sitting at his desk with Mrs. Ungerman, showing her mug shots in the hope she might be able to identify the man with whom she had briefly waltzed last Thursday night. He motioned to Ingersoll to come in, and Ingersoll motioned back that if Kling was busy, and Kling motioned back, No, that’s okay — and all the pantomime caused Mrs. Ungerman to turn curiously toward the railing.

“Hello, Mrs. Ungerman,” Ingersoll said, and smiled pleasantly.

Mrs. Ungerman looked at him in puzzlement.

“Patrolman Ingersoll,” he said.

“Oh,” she said. “Oh, of course. I didn’t recognize you without the uniform.”

“I’ll just be a minute, Mike,” Kling said.

“Sure, sure, take your time,” Ingersoll said, and wandered over to the bulletin board and studied the Deaf Man’s art gallery. He knew nothing about the case, and thought the photostats were some kind of little joke the detectives were playing up here in the rarefied atmosphere on the second floor of the building. At Kling’s desk Mrs. Ungerman kept looking at photographs of known burglars and shaking her head. At last she rose, and Kling thanked her for her time. She waved at Ingersoll, said, “Nice seeing you,” and went out of the squadroom.

“Any help?” Ingersoll said, coming over to the desk.

“None at all.”

Ingersoll pulled up a chair and sat. “Have you got a minute?” he asked.

“Don’t tell me we’ve had another burglary.”

“No, no,” Ingersoll said, and knocked the desk with his knuckles. “Been very quiet this week, thank God. This is what I want to talk to you about.” Ingersoll paused, and then shifted his weight and leaned closer to Kling, lowering his voice, as if he did not want his words to be overheard even within the sanctified walls of a detective squadroom. “How would you like to set a trap for our heist artist?” he said.

“Stick a man in one of the empty apartments, you mean?”

“Yeah.”

“I thought of that, Mike, but I’m not sure it’d work.”

“Why not?”

“If these are inside jobs, the guy’s probably watching all the time, don’t you think? He’ll know we’ve got a stakeout going.”

“Maybe not. Besides, we’re up a dead-end street right now. Anything’s worth a chance.”

“Well, I’ve got a lead, you know. Let’s see what happens there before we go spending the night...”

“What kind of lead, Bert?” Ingersoll said, and took out his notebook. “Anything I should know?”

“The guy dropped a ballpoint pen in the Blair apartment.”

“Pretty girl,” Ingersoll said.

“Yeah,” Kling said, and hoped he sounded noncommittal. “Anyway, I tracked it to an ex-con named Fred Lipton, two previous convictions.”

“For Burglary?”

“No, Dis Cond and Forgery One.”

“He live around here?”

“Calm’s Point.”

“Whereabouts? I live in Calm’s Point, you know.”

“He works for a real estate agency on Ashmead Avenue, and lives in a garden apartment on Ninety-eighth and Aurora.”

“That’s not too far from me,” Ingersoll said. “Anything I can do for you out there?”

“You look too much like a cop,” Kling said, and smiled.

“What do you mean?”

“Lipton’s friendly with a dancer at a joint called the Gee-Gee-Go-Go.”

“Yeah, I know the place, it’s a real dive.”

“Hawes tried to pump the girl the other night, but she made him for a cop right off.”

“Well, he does look kind of like a cop,” Ingersoll said, and nodded. “You sure you don’t want me to take a whack at it?”

“I thought I’d ask Willis.”

“Yeah, he’d be perfect,” Ingersoll said. “But meanwhile, can’t we set something up right here? In case you don’t get anything on Lipton?”

“I really think it’d be a waste of time, Mike.”

“The Ungerman hit was the last one, am I right? That was five days ago, Bert. It’s not like this guy to stay inactive for such a long time.”

“Maybe he’s cooling it because the old lady got a look at him.”

“What’s that got to do with it? He wouldn’t go back to the same apartment twice, would he?”

“No, that’s right.”

“The way I figure it, Bert, he’s trying to knock off as many places as he can while people are still taking winter vacations.”

“I don’t get you, Mike.”

“Look at the M.O., Bert. A dozen places in February and March, and three more in the last... how long has it been? Two weeks?”

“About that, yeah.”

“Okay, this is still April, people are still going away a little. We get into May and June, most of them’ll be staying home. Until the summer months, you know? So he hasn’t got much time before he has to lay off. And he missed on the Ungerman job, don’t forget that. I figure he’s got to be coming out again real soon.”

“So what’s your idea?”

“I’ve been talking to some of the supers in the neighborhood, there are maybe three or four apartments with people away. I figure we can stake out at least two of them every night, more if the Loot’ll let you have additional men. We rotate the apartments, we stay in touch with walkie-talkies, and we take our chances. What do you think?”

“I don’t think the Loot’ll give me any men.”

“How about Captain Frick? You think I should ask him?”

“I wouldn’t, Mike. If you want to try this just the two of us, I’m game. But I can guarantee we won’t get any help. Things are just too goddamn busy around here.”

“Okay, so you want to do it?”

“When?”

“Tonight?”

“Okay, sure.”

“Maybe we’ll get lucky. If not, we’ll try again tomorrow night. I don’t go on the four-to-midnight till next week sometime, but even then I’m willing to stick with this till we get the son of a bitch.”

“Well, we do have to sleep every now and then,” Kling said, and smiled.

“We catch this guy, we can all take a rest,” Ingersoll said, and returned the smile. “Look, Bert, I’ll level with you. I’m anxious to grab him because it might help me get the gold tin. Even an assist might do it for me. I’ve been on the force twelve years now, been commended for bravery twice, and I’m still making a lousy eleven thousand a year. It’s time I started helping myself, don’t you think? I’m divorced, you know, did you know that?”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Sure. So I got alimony to pay, and also I’d like to get married again, I’m thinking about getting married again. There’s a nice girl I want to marry. If we can crack this one together, it’d be a big help to me, Bert. I’m talking to you like a brother.”

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