Эд Макбейн: Hail, Hail, the Gang’s All Here

“Anyway, we went up there and smoked a few joints and drank some wine, and it was then I suggested I give Sonia a ring and have her come over, join in the celebration.”

“What were you celebrating?” Willis asked.

Hamling hesitated. He thought the question over for several moments, and then grinned and said, “Life. Living. Being alive.”

“Okay,” Willis said.

Genero was still watching very closely, learning as he went along. He knew, for example, that Hamling had just told a lie. Whatever they’d been celebrating, it had not been life or living or being alive. He could not have told how he knew Hamling had lied, but he knew it. And Willis knew it. And the girl knew it. And Genero knew that before long Willis would come back to the reason for the celebration, in an attempt to expose Hamling’s lie. Genero felt great. He felt as though he were watching a cops-and-robbers movie on television. He didn’t want it to end, ever. It never once occurred to him, as he watched and listened to Willis, that he himself was a detective. All he knew was that he was having a great time. He almost asked the girl how she was enjoying herself. He wished he had a bag of popcorn.

“So I went down to the street,” Hamling said. “He didn’t have a phone in the apartment. I went to a pay phone to call Sonia. She-”

“Where was Sonia?”

“Here. I was supposed to meet her here at seven o’clock, and this was now maybe close to eight. She has a key, so I knew she’d let herself in.”

“ Was she here?”

“Oh, yeah. So I asked her to meet me uptown. She said she wasn’t too familiar with that part of the city, so I told her what train to take, and I met her at the subway stop.”

“What time was that?”

“She must’ve got there about eight-thirty. Wouldn’t you say it was eight-thirty, Sonia?”

The girl nodded.

“Did you go back to the apartment then?”

“Yes,” Hamling said. “That was the first mistake.”

“Why?”

“He was naked when he opened the door. I thought at first... Hell, I didn’t know what to think. Then I realized he was high. And then I realized he was on an acid trip. A bummer. I tried to find out what he’d dropped, there’s all kinds of stuff, you know, good and bad. Like there’s a whole lot of difference between white owsley and green flats; you get shit with strychnine and arsenic mixed into it, man, that’s bad news. But he wasn’t making any sense at all, didn’t know what he’d dropped, didn’t know where he was, kept running around the room bare-assed and screaming and yelling he could fly. Scared Sonia half out of her mind, right, honey?”

The girl nodded.

“When did he jump out the window?” Willis asked.

“I don’t know, we must’ve been there maybe twenty minutes. I was trying to talk him down, you know, telling him to cool it, calm it, like that, when all of a sudden he jumps up and makes a break for the window. I tried to grab him, but I was too late. The window was closed, you dig? He went through it head first, man oh man. I looked down in the yard, and there he was laying there like...” Hamling shook his head.

“So what’d you do?”

“I grabbed Sonia, and we split. I didn’t want to get mixed up in it. You got long hair, you’re dead.”

“Well, looks open and shut to me,” Willis said, and closed his pad. “What do you think, Dick?”

Genero nodded. “Yeah, looks open and shut to me, too,” he said. He was beginning to think he’d been mistaken about Willis. Was it possible his more experienced partner had really only been after the details of a suicide? He felt vaguely disappointed.

“Just one more question, I guess,” Willis said, “and then we can leave you alone. Can’t thank you enough for your cooperation. People just don’t realize how much trouble they cause when they decide to kill themselves.”

“Oh, I can imagine,” Hamling said.

“We have to treat suicides just like homicides, you know. Same people to notify, same reports to fill out, it’s a big job.”

“Oh, sure,” Hamling said.

“Well, thanks again,” Willis said, and started for the door. “Coming, Dick?”

“Yep,” Genero said, and nodded. “Thanks a lot,” he said to Hamling.

“Glad to be of help,” Hamling said. “If I’d known you guys were going to be so decent, I wouldn’t have split, I mean it.”

“Oh, that last question,” Willis said, as though remembering something that had momentarily slipped his mind. “Miss Sobolev...”

Hamling’s eyes darted to the girl.

“Miss Sobolev, did you take off your blouse before or after Scott jumped out the window?”

“I don’t remember,” she said.

“I guess it was before,” Willis said. “Because you both left immediately after he jumped.”

“Yes, I suppose it was before,” Sonia said.

“Miss Sobolev... Why did you take off your blouse?”

“Well... I don’t know why, really. I mean, I guess I just felt like taking it off.”

“I guess she took it off because—”

“Well, let’s let her answer it, okay? So we can clear this up, and leave you alone, okay? Why’d you take it off, Miss Sobolev?”

“I guess it was... I guess it was warm in the apartment.”

“So you took off your blouse?”

“Yes.”

“You’d never met Scott before, but you took off your blouse...”

“Well, it was warm.”

“He was on a bum trip, running around the place and screaming, and you decided to take off your blouse.”

“Yes.”

“Mmm,” Willis said. “Do you want to know how I read this, Mr. Hamling?”

“How?” Hamling said, and looked at the girl. Genero looked at both of them, and then looked at Willis. He didn’t know what was going on. He was so excited, he almost wet his pants.

“I think you’re protecting the girl,” Willis said.

“Yeah?” Hamling said, puzzled.

“Yeah. It’s my guess they were balling in that apartment, and something happened, and the girl here shoved Scott out the window, that’s my guess.” The girl’s mouth had fallen open. Willis turned to her and nodded. “We’re going to have to take you with us, Miss Sobolev.”

“What do you... mean ?” she said.

“Uptown,” Willis answered. “Mr. Hamling, we won’t be needing you for now, but the district attorney may want to ask some more questions after we’ve booked Miss Sobolev. Please don’t leave the city without informing us of your—”

“Hey, wait a minute,” the girl said.

“You want to get your coat, please?” Willis said.

“Listen, I didn’t push anybody out that damn window!” she said, standing suddenly and putting her hands on her hips.

“Scott was naked, you had your blouse off, what do you expect...?”

“That was his idea!” Sonia shouted, hurling the words at Hamling.

“Cool it, Sonia,” Hamling warned.

“It was his idea to get undressed, he wanted to find the damn...”

“The damn what?” Willis snapped.

“The damn money belt!”

Hamling was breaking for the front door. Genero watched in fascinated immobility. Willis was directly in Hamling’s path, between him and the door. Hamling was a head taller than Willis and a foot wider, and Genero was certain the boy would now knock his partner flat on his ass. He almost wished he would, because then it would be terribly exciting to see what happened next. Hamling was charging for that front door like an express train, and Genero fully expected him to bowl Willis over and continue running into the corridor, down the steps, into the street, and all the way to China. If he was in Willis’s place, he would have got out of the way very quickly, because a man can get hurt by a speeding locomotive. But instead of getting out of the way, Willis started running toward Hamling, and suddenly dropped to his right knee. Hamling’s right foot was ahead of his left at that moment, with all the weight on it, and as he rushed forward, Willis grabbed his left ankle, and began pulling Hamling forward and pushing him upward at the same time, his right hand against Hamling’s chest as he rose. The result was somewhat similar to a football quarterback being hit high and low at the same instant from two opposite directions. Hamling flew over backward, his ankle still clutched in Willis’s hand, his head banging back hard against the floor.