Janwillem De Wetering - The Maine Massacre

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"In a way," Grijpstra repeated. "So that's what you are doing. Do you know how busy we've been? I've spent a whole week working on an atomic warfare professor. A Polish gentleman. Came here for a congress and suddenly, whoof, gone. A tremendous stink. Kidnapped, of course. Everybody blaming everybody. Even our very own Secret Service woke up and began to sniff around."

"Did you find hintf"

"Eventually. We traced him to a nightclub. He got drunk mere and left. Then we traced him to some illegal after-hours porno joint. He got drunker there and left."

"Usual thing?"

"Sure, but try and tell that to a Secret Service vice admiral or to an East Block ambassador. We dragged the canals and found him. The professor tried to piss into a canal and reeled right in. Drowned, sunk, and got himself attached to at least three dumped bicycles. He would have popped up again, but bowel gas takes a few days to form. We had every detective in the force on the job plus all sorts of extra help. If you'd been here you could have been of use. But you weren't here. Now tell me, Rinus, what have you been doing?"

"I killed a man."

The telephone was quiet.

"You there, Grijpstra?"

"Yes. You wouldn't joke about killing a man. What happened? Are you in the clear?"

"Yes. Self-defense and the man was crazy. A deranged gardener with combat experience in the Vietnam jungle. I mink he took me for a woodchuck."

"What's a woodchuck?"

"I haven't found out yet. Small, a rodent, eats shoots and buds. Got big teeth, slightly protruding."

"So you did work," Grijpstra said. "I am sorry. I might have known. You were with the local police, weren't you?"

"Yes. How are Tabriz and the flat?"

"All right. Cardozo moved into your apartment. I didn't have time to go there every day to feed Tabriz, and Cardozo gets tired of living with his parents sometimes."

"Didn't mess the place up, did he?"

"No, I checked. He did very well. All right, Cardozo, don't pull faces at me. I won't tell the sergeant about the tea on the wallpaper and the kitchen fire and the holes in the carpet."

"Give Cardozo my regards. See you tomorrow."

"Dutch is a terrible language," Madelin said and patted his chest. "You sounded like you were throwing up. The only word I caught was 'woodchuck.'"

"There is no Dutch for woodchuck, I think. We don't have them in our woods."

"Kiss me, Rinus."

"All right."

She sat up and shook him by the shoulders. "Cut it out, sergeant. I turn you on, I know I do. Stop pretending you are a self-sufficient ice floe, being happily arctic. I'll be seeing you off on the airstrip and I'll cry and I'll come and see you in Amsterdam."

"That'll be nice."

"I won't stay long."

"Stay a week. I can take a holiday and rent a car. If we get up at daybreak and make sure we're back for breakfast we may have some empty space to move around in. I can show you a polder, and birds, and a castle. We might even find a few windmills."

"Anything else?"

"That'll be enough for a week. The birds are best. The herons come right into the city, big birds but exquisite in form, with long necks and tufted head feathers. There are so many herons in Amsterdam that some streets have signs telling you to beware their shit. If it hits you your domes are spoiled. You'll have to bring an umbrella."

"No."

"True."

"Never."

"It is true. I'll show you a jacket. I still have it. Maybe I can get it repaired. There are holes on both shoulders. And you should have seen what it did to my hair. I nearly had it shaved off."

"I'll believe you when you kiss me without being cold."

"Okay," he said slowly. "Okay. But don't get any ideas. I am like Jeremy, and the older I become the more I will be like him. I'll finish up on an island, far away from here, far away from Amsterdam too. And I'll be alone."

"Yes, sergeant," she whispered. "I believe you. About the herons too. Now come here."

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