James Thompson - Lucifer's tears

I sip coffee, work on my tolerance management skills.

“Last night,” Milo says, “while I was trash-diving at Filippov’s house, I looked in the windows and saw Linda there with him. They left together and I decided to tail them. They went to Linda’s apartment. I stayed and surveiled them.”

“Hoping to discover what?”

“I got an idea that if they collaborated in the murder and he used protective clothing while he committed it, they could have stowed it in her place.”

“Why wouldn’t he have disposed of it immediately after the killing?”

He shrugs. “You never know with people. I trash-dived Linda’s dumpsters and came up empty.”

He’s boring me shitless. My mind drifts to Ukki. I picture him executing a Communist with his little suicide pistol.

“Something the matter?” Milo asks.

“Nope. Please continue.”

“So I sit outside her building all night, in case they try to sneak out to dump the stuff. Nothing happens. Early this morning, they left together-I guess to work-so I broke in and black-bagged her apartment.”

My attention snaps into focus. “What?”

His coat is beside him. He takes a nylon wallet out of a pocket, unfolds it, sets it on the low table in front of us to show me a lockpick set. Seven picks and two torsion wrenches. “I busted a burglar once,” Milo says. “In return for letting him walk, he gave me his picks and showed me how to use them. It’s pretty easy.”

I shake my head, disgusted. “So you committed breaking and entering.”

“It’s a hobby with me. I don’t steal anything, I just like to see how other people live, take a peek into the lives of strangers.”

More sharing of personal details I don’t want to know. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because I like to see the look on your face when I tell you about my hobbies.”

I didn’t know I had a look on my face. “Do you tell other people this shit?”

“ No. Just you.”

“I’m honored.”

“You should be.” He changes the subject. “Linda Pohjola is fucking hot.”

I nod. “She looks like Bettie Page.”

“Who?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“She collects 1950s pinup magazines and movies. A lot of it is S amp;M and bondage, fetish-type stuff. She also has an excellent lingerie collection, which she scents with perfume.”

I take this to mean she consciously impersonates Bettie Page. “So you break into apartments and sniff women’s undergarments.”

“Not necessarily, but in this case, I had to search her underwear drawer. You know the old joke that goes, ‘What’s a Russian ass-shaker?’”

It’s a classic. “Yeah. It doesn’t shake and it doesn’t fit in your ass.”

He grins. “That’s the one. Well, lovely Linda has a non-Russian ass-shaker. A big green double-donged dildo. Big end for pussy and small end for ass.” Milo starts to sing a Beach Boys’ tune. “I’m pickin’ up good vibrations. She’s giving me excitations.”

I want to see if anything causes him shame. “How did Linda’s dildo smell?”

“Like soap,” he says. “She washes it.”

My tolerance level just maxed. “You didn’t ask me to come here so you can tell me about your proclivity for voyeurism and Linda’s underwear and dildo.”

He’s having the time of his life. His eyes sparkle, their dark circles have a liquid sheen. He folds up his lock-picker’s wallet, puts it back in his pocket, and puts a digital audio player in its place on the table. “I found her MP3 and bumped this over to my iPod. Listen to the second-to-last track,” he says.

I put the earbuds in and listen. I hear smacks, followed by high-pitched grunts and squeals. Slurping sounds, like a blow job. Muted low moans at intervals, some of which are from a male voice. I’m nearly certain it belongs to Filippov. It goes on for eight minutes. Milo has a recording of Iisa being whipped to pieces. I stop the machine.

“No, keep listening,” Milo says.

A Nine Inch Nails song, “Closer,” from The Downward Spiral album, starts. It’s a dirgey anthem to self-hatred and sadomasochistic sex.

This isn’t the studio version. It’s a home mix. The sound track from Iisa Filippov’s torture session has been dubbed over the song. Her blunted cries syncopate with the song’s rhythm. It’s sickening, makes my stomach churn.

“Pretty cool, huh?” Milo says, “and ingenious. Linda and Filippov have sex while they murder Iisa and make a recording, so that later they can fuck along to the sound of Iisa dying. I’m picturing them killing her, that dildo in Linda’s cunt and ass. Filippov’s dick in her gorgeous mouth. If you listen close, it sounds like they come together when Iisa dies and goes quiet.”

I listen again. He’s right. The idea is so appalling that for a moment I sit stunned.

“‘Closer’ may be the best fucking song of all time,” Milo says, “paralleled only by Led Zeppelin’s ‘Kashmir.’ You ever fuck to the rhythm of ‘Kashmir’?” He hums the bass line, makes little grinding motions with his crotch.

In fact, I’ve fucked to both songs, but that’s not his business. “To your credit,” I say, “you were right. Filippov and Linda colluded in Iisa’s murder, but you fucked everything up. Now we have the evidence, but it’s inadmissible in court. What, Sherlock, are we going to do with it?”

I don’t wait for his answer. Something hits me. Milo is unpredictable in the extreme. “Give me your pistol.”

It’s in a quick-release holster in the small of his back. He grins, hands his Glock 19 over to me. I look around to make sure no one sees, pop the clip and rack the slide. A round flies out. He’s ready for anything, carries it with one in the chamber, cocked and locked. I pick the ejected bullet up off the floor. It’s crosshatched, as is the one at the top of the clip. He’s loaded up with dum-dum rounds. Teaching him how to make them was a serious mistake. I turn the pistol over in my hands. It has a selector switch at the rear left of the slide that my Glock lacks.

I want to scream at him but keep my voice down. “You maladroit imp. You mental fucking pygmy. You installed a three-round-burst selector.”

His smile is smug. “No I didn’t. It’s a full-auto switch. Making the three-round-burst selector was harder than I thought. I got the schematics to the Glock 18, which has full auto-fire capability. The models aren’t too different. I had to do some hand tooling on the slide and barrel, but made it work.”

“I told you not to fuck with your service pistol. What did you do that for?”

He sticks his chin out, defiant. “Maybe because you’re not my fucking boss.”

“Take it out.”

“No.”

“I’d like to turn you in for breaking into Linda’s apartment and jeopardizing this case, but that would botch everything, and she and Filippov would walk.”

Milo says nothing, just stares at me.

“I’ve had just about fucking enough of you,” I say. “I’ve treated you as a professional, and in return you’ve been arrogant, conceited and childish. I outrank you, and whether you like it or not, I’m going to be the boss of you. We can change the nature of our relationship. I can call you detective sergeant, and you can call me inspector. I have twenty years more than you as a cop, and you’re going to treat me with the respect I’ve earned.”

He sneers, grits his teeth. We stare at each other. He clears his throat and holds out his hand. “My pistol.”

I give it back. He does some minor disassembly, removes the switch and puts a little screw in its place to cover the hole it left. He puts the loose round back in the clip, racks the slide to rechamber it, flicks on the safety and re-holsters the pistol.