Alex Barclay - The Caller

‘Are you really -’

‘Yes I am. Shut the fuck up.’

‘I’ll call Anna for the update.’

‘OK.’

‘You’re DNR, right?’

‘Detective Lucchesi?’ A tall thin man walked into the ward. ‘I’m Dr Branfield, I’ll be carrying out your procedure this morning.’

‘How you doing, Doctor?’ said Joe.

Branfield smiled. ‘Well, I’m fine. Just to reassure you, what’s going to happen is a minor procedure, I’ve performed more than any other surgeon in the U.S., so it’s like a walk in the park for me. And it will be the same for you… if you usually walk lying down and sedated.’

Joe made the effort to smile.

‘You have nothing to worry about,’ said Branfield, ‘it will all be over and done with in about thirty minutes. And before you know it, you’ll be going out of your way to eat steak.’ He walked away. ‘See you in theater.’

Four words Joe thought he would never have to hear in his lifetime. His stomach was empty, but it felt like it weighed a ton. He lay back on the pillow with his arm above his head. What am I doing? His phone beeped. It was a text from Anna: ‘Good luck. We’re all thinking of you! XX’

‘Ready to rock?’ said a bright voice from the doorway.

‘Sure,’ said Joe, against every single impulse in his body and mind.

He found himself on a gurney, staring up at the ceiling, watching the lights fly overhead as he was being wheeled in for his anaesthetic. The male nurse guiding him along was talking at high speed about his cell phone coverage and how bad it was in his new apartment. Joe felt like punching him. His hands were already in fists, tight and rigid by his side. He tried to relax, but something had happened to his breathing, stalling it like a car out of gear. The nurse glanced at him.

‘You’ll be fine,’ he said. ‘Take some deep breaths. Honestly, it will make all the difference. In. Out. In. Out.’

Joe locked eyes with the nurse and realized he was now the only person who could stop him from getting up and running out on the street in a gown. He synched his breathing with him and turned away.

‘Now,’ said the nurse, his voice cheery. ‘It’s all good.’

‘Thanks,’ said Joe.

‘Pardon me?’

‘Uh, thanks.’

‘Oh, not a problem. OK, here we are.’

Joe’s head jerked towards the door. ‘Quick. Great,’ he said.

‘In we go.’

He delivered Joe into the waiting surgical team and said goodbye. Joe didn’t want him to leave. In a corner of the room, a doctor was turning away from the group of theater nurses, laughing. A nurse moved over to Joe and introduced him.

‘This is Dr Graff, your anaesthetist.’

‘Hello,’ said Dr Graff. ‘OK. This is the first step towards you feeling a whole lot better.’ He smiled. ‘But if you’ve made it this far, I guess I’m telling you something you already know.’ He smiled again. ‘OK. I’m going to give you a little something and before you finish counting down from ten to zero, you’ll feel yourself go under

…’

But Joe wasn’t thinking about going under. He was thinking about telling somebody something they already knew. Lying on his back, naked and vulnerable, everything started to slot into place. He struggled up from the gurney.

‘It’s OK,’ said the nurse. ‘You’ll be-’

‘I’m sorry,’ said Joe. ‘I gotta go.’

Martinez brought two cups of coffee to Danny’s desk and handed him one.

‘Milk, two sugars,’ he said.

‘God bless your memory,’ said Danny. He glanced at his watch. ‘I’d say Joe is going under round about – now.’

Martinez sat at the edge of the desk.

‘How long’s he gonna be gone?’

‘Just a day or two,’ said Danny.

‘I’d hate to have anything done to my face,’ said Martinez, stroking his jaw. ‘Anyone fucking with you like that. I don’t even get the whole laser eye surgery thing. Totally freaks me out.’

‘Yeah, well I guess Joe’s desperate.’

Danny’s cell phone rang. ‘Yeah?’

‘Get the hell over to the hospital.’

‘Joe?’ said Danny. ‘Holy shit! Aren’t you in surgery? Where are you right now?’

‘Not dressed enough to be standing in a hospital hallway on a payphone,’ said Joe.

‘Have you been administered any medication?’

‘Just hurry the fuck up.’

‘You got clothes there?’

‘No. I’m going to do this one naked. Course I’ve got clothes. I just need to find my room.’

‘I’m on my way. What about your surgery?’ But he didn’t wait for an answer.

The drive through Westchester was familiar to Joe – he had stayed in his father’s house in Rye with Shaun when they came back from Ireland. Today, they were seven miles further from the city in a quiet stretch of countryside, a perfect setting for the second Colt-Embry Clinic. They followed the blacktop road that curved through the half-finished gardens and led to the main building. They walked past the empty reception desk and stopped at a stack of signs, edged in protective cardboard, leaning against the walls. They had yet to be mounted, but showed with a neat black arrow the way to Julia Embry’s office. They knocked, but opened the door without waiting. Julia jumped and half-staggered up from her chair.

‘Where is Mary?’ Joe was shouting.

Julia was pale. She nodded. ‘She’s here. She’s safe.’

‘Do you know how many people are out looking for her?’ said Joe. ‘Are you out of your mind?’

Danny put a steadying hand on Joe’s arm. Joe pulled away from it.

‘No,’ he said. ‘What the fuck is going on here?’

Julia started to cry.

‘No fucking tears,’ said Joe. ‘Quit it with the fucking tears.’

‘Joe, come on,’ said Danny. ‘Calm down.’ He turned to Julia. ‘Mrs Embry, we’re glad Mary is safe.’

‘Thank you.’

‘Where is she?’

‘In the new apartments. I moved her out here early. I couldn’t watch her go through any more. I know she was the one who got in contact with you. And I know you’ve been kind to her. But her life has been turned upside down and I didn’t want her to go through any more. I couldn’t face it.’

‘Is Stan here too?’

‘Yes.’

‘Jesus Christ,’ said Joe.

Julia sat back down in her chair. ‘You have a close family, Detective, I read about you,’ she said. ‘And it’s a different dynamic than when you don’t. Stan, Mary… they can disappear without people paying too much attention. They have no family to panic when they’re gone. How many missing person reports are filed-’

‘Let me stop you right there,’ said Joe. ‘I’m genuinely concerned. Have I come across as someone who thinks human beings are disposable?’

Julia’s face burned. She avoided his stare. ‘I’m sorry. No, no you haven’t.’

‘Thank you,’ said Joe. ‘Because you need to know there are a lot of people in my line of work who care – me, my partner, the entire task force. We care about the people we meet. You think I come in contact with someone like Mary Burig, she disappears and we’re all going to forget about her? Yeah, you might be able to sleep at night knowing she’s safe. But maybe I can’t. Maybe I’ll wake up wondering what I did wrong. What if it was you? How would you feel?’

‘I’m sorry.’

He shook his head. ‘Look, I can’t argue with what you want to do with the clinic,’ said Joe. ‘And what you have done, how many people you’ve helped. There should be a million of these clinics all over the country.’

‘Thank you,’ said Julia. ‘That means a lot.’ Tears welled up in her eyes. ‘I don’t know how I got into this mess – I’m sorry.’ She looked up at him. ‘How did you know?’