James Burke: In the Moon of Red Ponies

“How?”

“Failure to disclose exculpatory evidence. A jailhouse gum ball claimed Dixon was shooting pool with him when the biker was killed. His only problem was he drooled when he was off his medication.”

“Why didn’t you give his statement to the defense?”

“An A.D.A. we later fired said he’d taken care of it. I forgot all about it. It was worthless information, anyway. But I got sandbagged on appeal,” she said.

“Get Dixon for the burial of my wife.”

“We can’t prove he did it.”

“You’ve got his fall partner’s testimony.”

“Terry Witherspoon’s? He died from AIDS in the prison infirmary last week.” She looked at the frustration in my face. Her expression softened. “You were a Texas Ranger?”

“Yes.”

“Have days you miss it?” she asked.

“No.”

“Montana isn’t the O.K. Corral anymore. If I were you, I wouldn’t listen to the wrong voices inside my head.”

“Box up the psychobabble and ship it back to Marin County, Fay,” I said.

“I grew up in Weed. So run your redneck shuck on somebody else, Billy Bob.”

Lesson? Don’t mess with short women who have law degrees from Stanford.

That night the sky was black and bursting with stars above the valley where we lived, then clouds quaking with thunder moved across the moon and snow began to fall on the mountaintops, sticking on the ponderosa and fir trees that grew high up on the slopes. In my sleep I dreamed of small-arms fire in the dark, the running of booted feet, the smell of wet mesquite, scrub oak, burned gunpowder, and ponded water that had gone stagnant. In the dream I raised my revolver and fired at a man silhouetted against the sky, saw his arms reach out horizontally, then clutch the wound that burst like a rose from the top buttonhole on his shirt.

Fay Harback had asked if I missed my career as a Texas Ranger. The truth was I had never left it. It returned to me at least every third night, in the form of my best friend’s accidental death down in Old Mexico.

L. Q. Navarro had long ago forgiven me, as the priests at my church had. But absolution by both the living and the dead did not reach into my nocturnal hours. I woke at 3 A.M. and sat alone in the coldness of the living room, looking out at the moonlight that had broken through the clouds and at the caked snow steaming on the backs of my horses in the pasture.

Just before dawn I fell asleep in the chair and did not wake until I heard Temple making breakfast in the kitchen.

Johnny American Horse’s dreams did not involve past events from his own life, guilt, erotic need, or even people or places he knew. His dreams were filled with birds and wild animals on alluvial moonscape, rivers and pink mesas he had never seen, herds of mustangs racing across a darkening plain forked by lightning. Sometimes the people in his dreams carried obsolete flintlocks, drove bison over cliffs, and sat by meat fires among cottonwoods whose leaves flickered like thousands of green butterflies.

He told a bartender in Lonepine and one in Big Arm he’d dreamed where the grave of Crazy Horse was located, although no historian had ever been able to find it. He built a sweat lodge in the Swan Mountains and fasted and prayed on the banks of a creek that had been melted snow only the day before, and inserted himself at dawn, hot and naked, between boulders that roared with white water out of fir and spruce trees.

When he performed the Sun Dance ceremony over at the Northern Cheyenne Reservation and tore the hooked pieces of antler loose from his pectoral muscles, he saw a burning white globe spin out of the sky and burst inside his head, blinding him to all images of the earth except those given to him by an ancient deity who had no English name.

But none of these things brought Johnny American Horse peace of mind. Instead, he joined radical Native American groups and fought with oil, pipeline, and timber companies, and sometimes became a shrill and obsessive voice to which no one listened. Some nights he slept in the woods or the reservation jail. Some nights he wasn’t sure where he slept.

But one week ago the content of his dreams had changed. He had fallen asleep in a chair on his front porch overlooking the Jocko River. The wind was cool blowing up the valley, smelling of pines and woodsmoke, and Johnny slept with his hat pulled down on his eyes and a sheep-lined coat spread across his chest. In his dream he heard a car engine roar to life, then saw a Firebird speeding at dawn out of an industrial city on the shore of a great lake, two men seated in the front, the exhaust thundering on the asphalt.

The man in the passenger seat had gold, peroxided hair, cut military-style, his arms tattooed with roses and green parrots that had yellow beaks. His chest was flat-plated, his face like tallow that had been warmed next to a flame and wiped clean of either joy or remorse, then allowed to cool, retaining no trace of any humanity it might have possessed.

The driver was middle-aged and wore horn-rimmed, thick glasses and had tiny red and blue veins in his jowls. He was dressed in a tweed coat, brown pants, a tie and white shirt, and shined shoes. Except for the intensity and concentration with which he drove the Firebird, he could have been a department store floorwalker or an accountant.

For three nights Johnny saw the two men on their journey westward, their vehicle low-slung, hammering hard across the Great Plains, through mesa country and badlands that were the color of chalk. They ate in truck stops, with neither pleasure nor distaste, ordering whatever was the special for the day, usually snuffing out their cigarettes in their unfinished food. At the Super 8 and the Econo Lodge they slept in beds that crackled with static electricity and smelled of other people’s copulation.

They drank brandy and soda in roadside bars, staring without interest at sports television, picked up two whores in Belfield, North Dakota, blew out a tire in Billings, hit an icy stretch on the Grand Divide, and whacked a swatch out of the guardrail west of Butte. To the men in the dream, one activity was no different in meaning or significance from another.

Then one morning Johnny American Horse woke in the coldness of the sunrise, his mind empty of images, the fir trees and ponderosa on the hillside above the Jocko wet and shining, the whole world as bright and clear as a spoon ringing against the rim of a crystal glass, and he knew he would not dream of the two men again. There was no need to. The horn-rimmed man and the man whose face had melted next to a flame were here, someplace around Missoula, waiting, but he did not know where.

The day after Johnny was released from jail on the weapons charge, he was turning over the thatch in his vegetable garden, the sun warm on his shoulders, when the scene around him seemed to dissolve and break apart, replaced by a collage of neon-lit smoke, green felt, a brass rail, and a man in a tweed jacket hunched over a bowl of chili by a window lighted from the outside. He heard pool balls clattering inside a triangular plastic rack and saw a man with roses and green parrots tattooed on his arms sight along a pool cue and smack an eight ball into a side pocket.

Johnny got into his pickup truck and drove into Missoula and on down West Broadway toward the business district. In the distance he could see the huge brown slopes of the mountains that enclosed the eastern end of the city, the trees a deep green in the saddles. On his right the Clark Fork of the Columbia River paralleled the street he drove on, its banks fringed with willow trees. The current was a greenish-coppery color from the first snowmelt, the water braiding between the chains of rocks that protruded from the surface. To the south were the beginnings of the Sapphire Mountains and the Bitterroot Valley, the fresh snow on the peaks a blinding white in the sunlight.