Thomas Scott - Voodoo Daddy

“You’re taking liberties you do not have when you call me Loot. Everyone calls me Jonesy. You can call me Sir, or Detective Jones. Are we clear on that?”

Murton snapped to attention, saluted and said, “Yes, Sir.”

I wanted to drop him where he stood, but instead I lowered my voice and said, “Knock that shit off. “What exactly is it you want, Murton?”

But before he could answer, the front door opened again and two men walked in together and scanned the bar, obviously looking for someone. It was by chance I’m sure, but they made a mistake when they looked at the tables and booths before they looked at the bar, and that gave Murton the time he needed as he reached for his glass and lobbed it overhand toward the opposite wall. As a diversion, it was very effective. The glass arched through the air end over end like a poorly punted football and before it landed he placed both hands along the brass railing in front of the bar, swung his legs up and vaulted over the top like a gymnast mounting a pommel horse. When the two men turned toward the sound of the glass shattering against the wall, Murton looked at me, winked and said, “Gotta boogie, Jones man. These boys are a little upset with me right about now. I left your tip under the coaster. Keep your powder dry.” He then picked up a cardboard case of empty beer bottles from the floor in front of the freezer and placed it on his shoulder, blocking the view of his face and walked toward the back of the bar and through the doorway that leads to the kitchen.

If it was a mistake for the men to not look toward the bar when they first entered, my mistake was that I stood completely still and watched Murton walk away. Everyone else in the bar was reacting to the broken glass except me and it didn’t take long before the men realized what had happened. By not reacting to Murton’s diversion I stood out in the crowd in such a way that I may as well have held a neon sign with a flashing arrow that said ‘He went that way.’

It would have been easy for me to turn away and let the two men who were following Murton Wheeler chase him through the doorway and out the back. No, that is not quite right. It should have been easy, but as I get older I’ve come to appreciate the fact that nothing is quite as simple as it may seem. The repressed anger I’ve carried with me toward Murton for the last decade is not only because three of my men died during a battle that should never have been waged, it also comes from the fact had he not gotten out that night, I would not have either. The simple truth is, I owed Murton my life. The three men who died that night are simply the vig I pay on a loan which until now I felt unwilling or even unable to repay.

Make no mistake, the interest I’ve paid over the years was disclosed to me long ago. The analogy is not my own. When I told all this to my therapist, he explained to me that I was acting out against myself as an emotional predatory lender and if I didn’t begin to repay some of the principle by forgiving Murton by forgiving myself, I would be burdened with an emotional debt I might very well carry to an early grave. It took ten sessions to get to that point, and in the end I told him I thought he was full of shit and never went back. But when I saw Murton walk back into my life through the front door of my bar and then almost immediately out the back I began to wonder if perhaps my old therapist may have been right and maybe this might be the time to try and balance the books.

The two men gazed at me for a fraction before they started toward the back. I moved along the length of the bar with my hideaway. 25 caliber semi-auto in my left hand, behind my back and out of sight. It was then that I recognized that they were the same two men who had escorted me back to Samuel Pate’s office earlier today. I held up my right hand as a signal for the two men to stop and said, “Sorry fellas, employees only past this point.”

The three of us stood there like we were having a management meeting, or perhaps like I was simply speaking to a couple of regular customers. “That guy that just left out the back. We need to talk to him.” His accent sounded east Texas, something I hadn’t noticed earlier in the day.

The shorter of the two tried to sidestep me and squeeze past into the kitchen, but I matched his maneuver and kept him in his place. “The band’s really cranking it out tonight, aren’t they?” I said. “I guess you didn’t hear me before. Employees only past this point.”

One of the advantages of owning a bar if you are a police officer is at any given time, the odds are in your favor that at least some small percentage of your patrons are going to be off-duty cops. In addition to my crew, there were about ten other cops in the bar as well. The commotion caused by Murton tossing his glass against the far wall as a diversion had subsided, but I noticed Rosencrantz and Donatti watching me, and when they saw me look their way and then back at the two men trying to get by me, they separated and walked up behind the men from different directions. I slipped my gun into my back pocket and crossed my arms in front of my chest. It was now three on two. Rosencrantz stepped up close behind the two men and said, “How’s it going, Jonesy? Think we could get another pitcher over at our table?”

I looked at him and said, “Right away, Rosie. These guys were just leaving, but they’re having a little trouble distinguishing the front from the back. Help them out, will you?”

The two men turned and looked at Rosencrantz and Donatti, and then back at me. I let them get the last word, which you learn is often the wise thing to do if you work in a bar. “Tell Wheeler to get in touch next time you see him,” the tall one said. “Like I said, we need to talk with him.”

Rosencrantz and Donatti muscled the two men out the front door and came back inside a few minutes later. Donatti walked behind the bar and ran his knuckles under the tap for a few minutes. Rosencrantz stood there and just smiled at me. “What happened?” I said.

“Not much,” Rosencrantz said. “My guy didn’t want to fight. The other one tried to throw a sucker punch at Ed. He missed. But then his ball sack decided it wanted to launch itself at Ed’s knee, and when that didn’t work he tried throwing his jaw as hard as he could into Ed’s fist. Twice. Sort of an unconventional style if you ask me. I think those guys might have been dropped on their heads as infants.”

“Where are they?”

Donatti grabbed a dish towel and wiped his hands dry. “We helped them to their car and sent them on their way. It was either that or take them downtown. The paperwork’s a drag.”

“Yeah, we’d be up all night,” Rosencrantz said.

“Do me a favor, will you?” I said.

“I think we just did,” Rosencrantz said.

“Uh huh. Run a sheet for me tomorrow morning on a guy named Murton Wheeler. Let me know what you get.”

“No problem, Jonesy,” Donatti said.

Rosencrantz grabbed a handful of peanuts from a dish on top of the bar and tossed them in his mouth. “Hey, I was serious a minute ago. Can we get another pitcher of beer?”

I had a waitress take another pitcher over to their table and tear up the ticket she had going. When I finally got back behind the bar I remembered what Murton had said about my tip being under his drink coaster. I walked over to where he had been seated and saw the coaster. Underneath was a thick brass key, the words ‘ do not duplicate ’ stamped on both sides. I had no idea what lock the key would open or what contents may be hidden behind its tumblers, but less than a week later I would find myself questioning the thought process of repaying an emotional loan I never should have applied for to begin with.

An hour later I was home. It was late and I thought about going to bed, then thought, fuck it, and grabbed a beer before going outside where I propped my ass in a chair and my feet on the upper rail of my deck. The night was clear and calm and when I looked up at the stars it made me think of my mom, gone now an entire year.