John Harvey: Cold in Hand

Had he squeezed her hand before the end, or had that been her imagination, her need?

They had buried him on a cold day with the wind eddying the shallow topsoil into dusty circles and the rooks loud and restless in the trees.

In the allotment below, the man had set his spade aside while he rolled a cigarette.

A good life, the doctor had said. Well, yes, good, perhaps, hard certainly, but not enough. Barely scratching sixty when it was over. These days, when so many continued, relatively fit, into their eighties, it was no life at all.

And her mother, who had married him at twenty, the only man she had ever seriously been out with, had been left bereft by his death. Age claiming her, too, before its time. Her face, her body shrivelling, closing in upon themselves as her life shrank down to the few daily tasks she performed now more or less by rote.

Lynn felt guilty that she did not visit more often, that she begrudged, sometimes, her mother's regular Sunday-morning calls, the enquiries after hers and Charlie's health, the regaling of news that was the same as it had been the week before.

At the sound of the doorbell, Lynn went back into the house.

The woman on the doorstep was wearing a green tunic with the same name embroidered on one side as had been painted on the van standing at the kerb.

"Miss Kellogg, is it?"

She was holding up a large bouquet of flowers, cellophane wrapped.

"Yes." Lynn's face broke into a smile. It wasn't like Charlie to go for broke like that, but she was glad that he had.

Thanking the woman, she took the flowers back inside. Red, yellow, and white roses, some barely out of bud, surrounded by wisps of decorative grass and fern. Beautiful.

Pulling off the small envelope attached to the wrapping, she ran water into the sink and slid the stems down into it until they were well covered. They could rest there until she'd unearthed a suitable vase.

Her nail was long enough to slide under the envelope corner and tear it across.

It was the usual cream-coloured card with embossed flowers around the edge. The writing was small, yet distinct. Not Charlie's at all.

Hope you're recuperating well. Next time remember to duck!

Stuart D.

PS. Maybe you should come and work for us instead.

Stuart D.? Stuart D.? For no good reason, the skin at the back of her arms went cold. She couldn't think who it was-and then she could.

Stuart Daines.

Stuart D.

Tall, stepping towards her, smiling. Holding out his hand.

It had been at a SOCA conference she had attended the previous November. SOCA: the Serious and Organised Crime Agency, set up to combat various kinds of high-level national and international crime and mostly staffed by ex-police and ex-Customs and Excise. Tobacco smuggling, people trafficking, the illegal transit and sale of weapons. On paper, the buzzwords had all sounded quite attractive, but none of the speakers, with the possible exception of one, who had talked enthusiastically about the need for closer cooperation at grassroots level, had been particularly convincing.

And speaking, in one of the breaks, to a former Detective Inspector from the West Midlands, who had joined up and rapidly become disenchanted, had further convinced Lynn to steer well clear. Too many training courses, too much internal wrangling, not enough practical, hardheaded investigation.

She had just finished talking to him and was heading back towards the conference room when the speaker who'd impressed her cut across her path.

"Our friend from Sutton Coldfield bending your ear?"

"Something like that."

"Not a happy bunny."

"No?"

"Thought it was going to be all James Bond," he said, smiling. "Finds out it's hard work instead."

Lynn found herself smiling, too.

"Stuart." He held out his hand. "Stuart Daines."

"Lynn Kellogg."

He nodded. "Notts Force, right? DI. Major Crimes-or is it Homicide these days?"

"Homicide."

"You thinking of transferring? Giving SOCA a go?"

"Not really."

"Shame."

Daines was close to six foot, an unstructured cotton-linen suit hanging easily from his lean body, dark hair prematurely greying at the sides. Late thirties, Lynn thought? Maybe forty. One brown eye had a fleck of green at the far corner, like a flawed stone.

"I enjoyed your talk earlier," she said.

"One of the few, then."

"Not at all."

"Speak about liaising with local forces, setting up viable targets in the provinces, and most of this lot don't want to know. Anything fifty miles out of London, they think everyone's going to be wearing loincloths and painting themselves blue."

Lynn laughed. "Nottingham city centre on a Friday night."

"I'll take your word for it."

He was looking at her in a way that made her feel less than comfortable.

"You staying down?"

Lynn shook her head. "Back up on the 7:30 train."

"A pity. We could've had a drink, gone for a meal."

"I doubt it," she said.

When she got to the conference-room door, she quickly turned her head. He was still standing in the same spot, looking directly at her.

Stuart Daines.

Too fond of himself by half.

She slipped the card back into its envelope and slid it between two jars on the shelf. There was a vase standing empty in the living-room fireplace that would do.

For a few moments, the goose pimples returned to her arms. How had he known where to send the flowers? How had he known where she lived?

She set the kettle to boil for some tea and thought about calling Resnick at work, but realised she'd not be thanked. Earlier, she had been debriefed at length by two of Bill Berry's officers, after which she had done her best to prime a sketch artist into drawing a likeness of the young man who had shot Kelly Brent-who had shot her-but her sighting of him had been too fleeting to produce anything other than a generic stereotype. Nice try, the artist said jovially, but no cigar.

Tea made, she switched on the radio for the news.

There had been another fatal shooting, this time in Manchester.

A government minister was speaking. "What we must remember is that incidents such as these, though they cause extraordinary grief and agony in particular communities, they are, nonetheless, isolated occurrences. And what we must do, as a government, is to think again about the nature of those communities which are most affected, and how we can best intervene to tackle gang culture, and work with families and voluntary organisations so as to combat that culture and make the communities themselves more resilient."

Lynn turned off the radio.

Her book was in the front room. After twenty or so minutes of reading, she felt her eyes beginning to droop and the pain in her chest, coincidentally, return. She would take another couple of painkillers and lie down on the bed, maybe close her eyes. Just for a little while.

When she woke, it was dark.

In the bathroom, she splashed cold water on her face, wincing as she raised her arms, cleaned her teeth, and brushed her hair. She'd wanted to get dinner going before Resnick got home, a task that was more usually his. There were some chicken thighs in the fridge, onions, garlic, rice, a few carrots starting to go soft, frozen peas. She was halfway through chopping the second onion, tears pricking at her eyes, when she heard the front door.

"What's wrong?" Resnick asked, coming into the kitchen.

"Nothing, why?"

"You're standing there with your apron on, crying, that's why."

Lynn smiled. "Onions, that's all." She tilted up her face to be kissed.

Resnick cast his eyes over the assembled ingredients. "Sure you know what you're doing?"

"I daresay I'll manage."

"Don't forget to brown-"

"I said, I'll manage."

Resnick backed away. "In that case, I'll have a quick shower."