John Burdett - Bangkok Haunts

I think the words are more of a hard-to-identify echo than a sentence written in his heart. I stand back. "Did you know her husband — sorry, ex-husband-was standing in the closet making a film star out of you? Of course not. I think you did not make his acquaintance until much later. Not until all administrative chores had fallen to you to deal with, as consigliere to the jao paw, or should I say legal adviser to the board?"

He parts his lips but says nothing. Now I'm doing my best to reproduce his complex accent with its Cockney and transatlantic references, complete with lump in the throat, in an octave lower than that in which I am accustomed to express myself: "Don't worry about that. There wouldn't be any fucking point, would there?"

He has leaned back a little in his executive chair, contemplatively, and managed to close his mouth. I'm at the end of my rope and quite incapable of Buddhist patience. With astonishing irrelevance I pick up a cube of sugar that lies in the saucer of a coffee cup on his desk. "You do not take sugar? Too fattening, I suppose." I crumple the sugar in my hand, then toss it over him. "Heroin," I say in a loud voice. "I have caught you red-handed." He does not react, confirming my earlier surmise that he is enjoying protection now. He brushes off the sugar with a go-fuck-yourself leer. I walk around his desk to stand above him.

Scratching my head: "So I ask myself, how could Smith be connected to a video he has never seen that records an assassination he could not possibly have participated in because he was in another country at the time? And yet everything in my third-world-cop instinct tells me that this Smith knows something about the case, is involved in some way." I turn my head to one side and smile. "Of course, it took me a while to work it out. After all, corporate law is not exactly my field. Oh yes, for a very long time I wondered how you fit in, Mr. Smith. Until I remembered that your training is indeed in corporate law. How many corporations are you on the board of? In how many land transactions throughout the length and breadth of the country are you a shadow shareholder? How often have you enabled farang to get around our protectionist land laws in order to profit by redevelopment? And I saw it, the perfect revenge for a lawyer driven quite insane by his lover-shareholder in the enterprise. That's what I think you are. She had wounded you more than any woman you ever met. Others merely scratch-she stole bone marrow. You were incomplete until the day she died. How smart you must have thought yourself, reaping perhaps a tenfold, even hundredfold profit from the planned, digitally recorded execution of the demon who laughed as she chewed your guts. What an elegant ending."

I am making a question mark with my eyebrows, which he seems to find slightly comic. It is a good moment to kick his chair, which I do with maximum force. He virtually flies across the floor until he reaches the wall. It looks for a moment as if he will be able to keep his balance and his dignity, but the wheels on the thing are so efficient, they fail to provide stability, and he ends up on the floor with his head rammed uncomfortably against the wall. I walk over to stand on his left arm. He is in pain, but not enough. "I have protection," he mutters. "You're such a pure little fuck-up, I had to go higher."

"Who to? Vikorn?"

A leer. "Higher. You don't know who I'm connected to."

I smile. It may not sound like it, but this surely is a confession of guilt of a sort.

He tries to pull his arm free from my foot but is unable to. I add to his difficulties with my other foot, then squat beside him, placing all my weight on his arm. "If that is your answer, Mr. Smith, then I'm afraid you are out of luck. I'm not working for the Royal Thai Police today. I'm moonlighting for the Buddha." He blinks. "You're looking a little yellow around the gills these days, Tom. I hope you haven't been sleeping with ghosts?"

He grunts in astonishment, and the mask falls. It occurs to me that he could easily overpower me; it is the promise of narrative, the carrot of closure that keeps him prone. "Let me tell you how she comes to you — every night, if I'm not wrong. You experience her first as a kind of erotic stirring, but since you are asleep, the stirring is more an overwhelming feeling of lascivious anticipation, a certainty that the final, ultimate coupling is about to free you from the misery of eternal isolation. Then she appears, glowing, wearing whatever garment you find most erotic — in my case it's a low-cut black ballgown with nothing underneath, but then I'm corny like that. What's amazing is her control over your body. She is capable of working your dick by remote, just by the power of transferred thought. You are her slave-she doesn't stop working you until you've climaxed at least twice. Not the normal, restricted, rationed kind of functional orgasm that goes with the mediocrity of civilized life. No, Tom, you climax as a satyr might, or a tiger, say: total, wild, ruthless, unrepentant. And you wake up in a pool of spent seed, defeated, wanting nothing except to go through it all again. Am I right?" He says nothing, and yet I fancy I have finally softened him.

After a pause I say, "How much was she paid, exactly? About a million U.S.?"

He licks his lips and mutters, "About that."

"That's a lot. In a poor country like Thailand, a million crosses a line, from mere wealth to genuine power. It's always dangerous to give power to ignorant, resentful third-world peasants, don't you think?" He stares. "With no culture of positive thinking, you see, and no faith in human nature-frankly, who has, after age twelve in the lower income brackets? — there is little to prevent-how should one put it? — a negative response? Certainly, a woman from another background, say Essex, would have invested in a balanced portfolio of stocks and shares to provide income and growth for her dependents-although a woman who thought like that would have been unlikely to choose such an early exit. To be sure, Damrong had traveled enough and spent enough time with rich men to know how the other half-more accurately, the privileged five percent-live and think. Hard to imagine why any modern young woman would choose death when she could afford a Mercedes, but we are all products of programming, and hers worked in a different way. Culture."

I see that I have at least begun to interest him in the chain of cause and effect responsible for his predicament. "Let me put it in my simple Buddhist way, Smith, and please forgive the naivete, but the problem was: no one to love. Not really. In the end even her brother seemed on the point of betraying her for the Buddha. Love frustrated is bad enough, but how about love inverted? Turned on its head by a perverse economic system and a brutal childhood? In such circumstances an apocalyptic mentality is almost inevitable. Nothing like death to bust the illusion of inequality. And she had the money to stage a spectacular finale, of which you are a part." I think he half understands. "Smart as you are, she fooled you. What did you think, exactly, when you took a position — is that the phrase? — in the movie she wanted to make?"

He clears his throat, which seems very clogged. "She acted of her own free will. It was her idea. She approached me, and I approached certain business interests who were clients of mine. She designed the whole thing. It was a product of her own mind. Not everybody loves life, and she was approaching thirty. Things happen to whores at that age."

"Exactly my point, Khun Smith, exactly my point. Had your own culture not caused you to discount the possibility that she might have been, in her strange third-world way, as smart as you-smarter-you might have thought to yourself there was more to her project than met the eye." He frowns. "I mean, you might have perceived that what she had in mind was not self-annihilation at all, not in her terms, but rather a statement, a final testament to the world, an act of revenge part symbolic, part literal. You could almost say she was exercising a form of self-respect, after all."