Steve Hamilton - Ice Run

“Yeah, the woman at the hotel told me she thought he’d lived around here for a long time. He used to come into the hotel fairly often, it sounds like, but then he stopped a few years ago.”

“He might have been in some kind of senior care,” Leon said. “Maybe he sneaked out and went back to one of his old familiar places.”

“That makes sense,” I said. “That would explain why they hadn’t seen him for a while. There was one weird thing, though…”

“What’s that?”

“I thought the doorman at the hotel might be able to help me out. So I tried to find him. He seems to have disappeared.”

“What?”

I gave him the whole rundown. Chris Woolsey not showing up for work today, going to his apartment, and then his parents’ place.

“That’s a little strange,” Leon said. “It might not be a coincidence.”

“Well, I left a card at both places. Maybe he’ll call me.”

“You know, Alex, for a man who has no interest in being a private eye, it sure sounds like you’re acting like one.”

“I just want to know what happened,” I said. “If I don’t try to find out, it’ll just keep bothering me, why this man would go to all that trouble, thinking that he knew me. Wouldn’t you be doing the same thing?”

“I’d be all over it, yes.”

I couldn’t help smiling. “Yeah, I have no doubt about that.”

“My friend at the paper said he’s working on the obit this evening, so he may have some more information. If he calls me, I’ll call you.”

“You can stop, Leon. You don’t have to do any more.”

“It’s no big deal, Alex. I’ll let you know what he says.”

“All right,” I said. “Thank you.”

“What are partners for?” It was an old line I had heard before, back when it meant something. It almost made me wish it still did.

When I was done with Leon, I called Natalie. Her answering machine picked up before she finally got on the line herself.

“Sorry,” she said. “I was going through the stuff in the basement.”

“You’ve got a lot down there.”

“A whole lifetime’s worth. It’s gonna take me a long time to go through it all.”

“Just let me know if you want help. My rates are cheap.”

She didn’t say anything.

“What’s the matter, Natalie?”

“It’s just too much sometimes. That’s all.”

“Okay,” I said. “I can imagine.”

“I’m sorry, so what did you do today?”

“I gave the hat to Chief Maven. Then I wandered over to the hotel.” I gave her the same rundown I had given Leon-Chris Woolsey disappearing, and me trying to find him.

“Maybe he’s just a little freaked out, Alex. This man was in the lobby all day, and then suddenly he’s dead.”

“I hear what you’re saying. It’s just kinda strange. And the way his mother looked today…”

“You went to his mother’s house?”

“I just wanted to talk to him. I wanted to make sure he’s all right, too.”

“I don’t know, Alex.”

“Well, anyway, Leon will let me know if he finds out anything else.”

“Who’s Leon again?”

“My sort of ex-partner, remember? He’s the one who found out your address.”

There was a silence on the line.

“Okay, that sounds a little weird,” I said. “What I mean is, when I decided to contact you, Leon helped me do that. That’s all.”

Another silence. Then she said it. “Alex, I can’t do this.”

It was my turn to be quiet for a while. “Natalie,” I finally said, “what are you talking about?”

“All of this, Alex. I’m sorry, I just can’t right now.”

“Wait a minute-”

“No, please, Alex. I’ve got to say this, okay?”

“Go ahead.”

“I don’t know why you came looking for me,” she said. “I’m not saying I’m sorry you did. Because I’m not sorry. It was… The way things happened, it was like a miracle. I was in such a deep hole, Alex. You reached down and you pulled me out of it. I didn’t even want you to do it, but you did. I’ll always love you for that, Alex. I hope you know that. But right now…”

More silence. I didn’t have any words to say. I just waited to hear the rest of it.

“Right now, it’s just too much for me. I’m trying to get my life back together, and I can’t do this. Yeah, coming out to that hotel to meet you, and having all that stuff happen, that didn’t help any. That definitely made it feel… I don’t know. Just not right. But it would have come eventually, you know what I mean? The whole idea of me coming down here, I was just going to clean up this house. I was going to sell it and go away and never look back. That’s what I was going to do.”

I looked out the window. I looked at the clouds and the snowflakes floating slowly in the air.

“I have to, Alex. Do you know what I’m talking about? Please, Alex. Please say something.”

“I hear you, Natalie. I understand what you’re saying.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Look, I know you’re still dealing with what happened to you.”

“It’s not about that,” she said. “That was a long time ago.”

“I know, but it’s still there. You told me so yourself.”

“Just forget about that, okay? Forget I ever told you.”

“I can’t, Natalie.”

“Okay, now I’ve got to get off the phone,” she said. “Because I’m going to start crying here. Okay? I’m not going to do that.”

“Okay,” I said. “Okay.”

“I’ll talk to you later. Maybe I’ll call you in a couple of days.”

“That’s fine.”

“Please take care of yourself.”

“You, too,” I said.

Then she hung up.

You, too. That’s all I could say to her. You, too.

I got up and went outside, because I’d be damned if I was going to sit there feeling sorry for myself. That wasn’t going to happen, not for one single minute.

You met somebody. You did something good for her. She has her own life, but now it’s going in a different direction. And all that other crap you tell yourself. All that worthless crap.

You were just fooling yourself, Alex. You should have known better.

I plowed the road and I chopped some wood. I didn’t feel like going down to the Glasgow, so I just went back inside and had some more pizza. It was cold now. I sat at the table and ate cold pizza with a lukewarm beer.

The phone rang. For one instant I thought it might be Natalie calling me back, then in the next instant I hated myself for hoping that it was. It turned out to be Leon again.

“The funeral is day after tomorrow,” he said.

“Yeah, so?”

“So you should go.”

“Why?”

“Alex, are you all right? You sound a little down.”

“No, I’m okay. I just don’t understand why I should go to Mr. Grant’s funeral.”

“I’m just thinking,” he said. “This is your best chance to find out more about him. Maybe you’ll even recognize somebody there. At the very least, you can meet his family, tell them how sorry you are. If it goes well, you could even ask them to help you figure out why he thought he knew you.”

“I don’t think I want to do that.”

“I’m not telling you to crash the funeral, Alex. I’m just saying, go pay your respects. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“I’ll think about it,” I said. “Thanks again for your help.”

“You sure you’re okay?”

“I’m just fine, Leon. I’m just fine.”

It started snowing harder. The wind picked up and whistled through the chinks in the walls. I put more wood in the stove.

The phone rang again. I went through the same routine again, as unavoidable as a reflex. Maybe it’s her. But this time it was a man from downstate, asking me if there was enough snow up here to jump-start the snowmobile season. I told him there sure as hell was. He made a reservation.