Steven James - The Rook

So, Terry had survived.

Well, I could deal with that later.

As we drove to the Future Relic I felt the tug of the undertow once again. The whole way there I imagined all the things I wanted to do to the boy who’d tried to molest my stepdaughter. And after fifteen years of seeing the most hideous things one human being can do to another, I had plenty of images to choose from.

When you look long into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you.

I imagined in vivid detail how I would make him suffer and then I thought of how I would justify it all in my mind when I was done. The courts would probably be on my side too, at least to a certain extent, but even if they weren’t, I’d find a way to live with myself.

I couldn’t let him get away with this.

I couldn’t. When we arrived, I still wasn’t sure how I’d react when I saw him, but as soon as I stepped out of the car, my thoughts shifted from him to Tessa. She saw me, came running, flew to my arms, and I held her. I held her with the fierce love and pride and dreams and disappointments and fire of a father. She told me she was sorry she’d skipped her flight, and I told her we’d talk about all that later; she told me she’d fought the guy off, and I told her I was proud of her, and then for a moment we were both quiet, and eventually she stopped trembling and stepped back.

She pointed to the police cruiser where her attacker was being held. “That’s him over there.”

“Can you give me a second?”

“Yeah.”

Just then, Detective Dunn came stalking up to me. I was about to ask what he was doing here when he blurted out, “Heard your name on dispatch, thought I’d come to help.” Dunn leaned close and pointed to the suspect. “You want me to give you a few minutes with him?”

I knew what he meant. “Yes. I do.”

Dunn stepped aside, and I hobbled over to the kid sitting in the car. He looked at me through the window with a mixture of defiance and fright.

I felt tension growing in my shoulders, in my arms.

He was going to rape Tessa. You need to make him pay.

Tension. Tension.

I remembered Melice talking about Cain, and the Lord’s warning about sin crouching beside him, wanting to have him. And as I stood there I could sense it crouching beside me too. It’s part of who we are, part of the human dilemma, but we must master it.

I tried to. Really, I did.

But I couldn’t.

Not after what this guy had tried to do to Tessa.

I reached for the door. It feels good, doesn’t it?

Yes, it does.

You’re not like them, are you?

Yes, I guess I am.

My fingers found the handle.

Christie used to say we can’t reach the Light on our own, but the Light can reach us. As I clicked the car door open, I thought of that, and of what Calvin had told me-that maybe we are all monsters.

He was right. We are. None of us make it past the abyss without peering inside. Without stepping inside.

The dark space inside of the car spoke my name and I knew that I would kill this boy, tonight, right now, with my bare hands.

I couldn’t say no, not on my own. Not tonight.

I slid into the car and stared at him, cornered in the backseat, delivered to me. I felt rage.

Fear.

Horror.

Not just because of his choices, his abyss, but because of my own.

And in that moment my heart cried out for courage, cried out to the only one able to bring light to an abyss as deep as me.

We are all monsters, all of us, but we were meant to be so much more.

And as I reached for the kid and saw his trembling eyes, I made a decision.

I leaned back, stepped out, and closed the door. Dunn was standing close by, ready to block the view into the car’s window. When he saw me leaving he gave me a quizzical look.

“I have a better idea, Detective,” I said. “Let’s book him. Pros-ecute him-”

A grin slithered across Dunn’s face. “And send him to prison full of guys who are always thrilled to have new mates to play with.”

“That’ll work.”

Thursday, February 19

9:30 a.m.

Lien-hua’s hospital room.

I was amazed at how well she was doing for someone who’d just died the night before. Weak, tired, but recovering.

Now she slept and I sat by her side.

Ralph and Tessa had left to get some breakfast and run a few errands twenty minutes earlier, leaving me alone with Lien-hua. Before they took off, Tessa and I had agreed to wait until we returned to Denver to talk about her ditching the flight. We both knew she shouldn’t have done it, but after what she’d been through last night, punishing her wasn’t at the top of my to-do list.

Earlier in the day we’d also found out Ralph’s luggage had arrived late last night-in twice as many pieces as it should have. Most of his clothes were shredded or missing, so he’d bought a Hawaiian shirt from the hotel gift shop and was wearing it proudly when he arrived at the hospital. “I like this style,” he announced, rolling his shoulders back and forth. “Gives me an island mentality.”

“It kinda looks like a rainbow threw up on you,” Tessa said.

“Great,” he mumbled, deflated. “Now I’ll think of vomit every time I wear this shirt. Thanks for that.”

“You’re welcome.”

I decided to intervene. “Maybe you can help Ralph pick out a suit,” I said. “For the funeral this afternoon.”

Tessa looked at his shirt again. “Well, it’s evident he could use some fashion advice.” “You just don’t appreciate good taste,” Ralph muttered.

Then they left and Lien-hua slept and I let my thoughts meander back to the case.

Terry had been one of my best friends over the last three years.

He was one of the few people I really trusted, one of the few people who knew just how much Richard Basque bothered me, haunted me. In fact, Terry knew me better than almost anyone. But now I realized I’d never known him. Not really.

I heard Lien-hua stir. “Pat.” It was a relief to hear her speak.

“Shh,” I said. “The docs tell me you’re supposed to rest.”

“Some water.” Her voice was course but resolute. “Please.”

I brought a glass to her lips, and after a small swallow, she reached for my hand. As she took it, she spoke again, her words intense and urgent, but also tender, “Thank you for last night. For all you did.”

She was amazingly coherent for having just woken up. Maybe she’d been awake for a while but I hadn’t noticed. “You’re welcome,” I said.

A faint grin. “I always wanted two broken ribs.”

Well, at least her wit was on its way to recovery. “Don’t mention it.”

She took a thin breath. “Really, I wish I could find a way…” She swallowed some air. “To thank you. I don’t know what to say.”

“Maybe we can find a way that doesn’t require words,” I said.

And I wasn’t necessarily thinking of sign language.

That brought a smile. “I’m serious.”

“So am I. Anytime you need someone to give you mouth-to-mouth again, just let me know.”

Another smile, beautiful in its gentleness. “OK, I’ll do that.” She paused. “Margaret stopped by earlier.”

“Margaret Wellington? I don’t believe it.”

“She brought me a card-”

“Incredible.”

“And then told me I’m still suspended.” “What! No. I’m not going to let this happen.” I went for my cell phone but Lien-hua stopped me with a squeeze of her hand and a shake of her head. “Leave it for now. It’s OK. It’ll give me a chance to visit Redmond.”

Lien-hua had been born in Redmond, Washington. I wondered if that’s where her sister was buried. “Chu-hua?”

She nodded. “I think I’m finally ready. I need to set a new flower arrangement on her grave. One that catches a little more light.”