James Craig - Buckingham Palace Blues

Well, kind of, Carlyle thought.

‘And now is a time when the poor woman desperately needs the help and support of those close to her.’

And that means me? Carlyle wondered. Poor woman indeed.

Mayflower halted them about ten feet away from Helen. ‘Her husband is still in hospital.’

‘Still?’

‘Yes, they’ve found something nasty. Cancer of the colon, I believe. It looks like Joshua will now be released from prison early on compassionate grounds. The expectation is that he has maybe six months.’

‘Carole Simpson told you all this?’

Mayflower looked at him sadly. ‘Not everyone is as buttoned up as you, Inspector.’

Buttoned up? Carlyle thought. We’ve met, what — three times — and you’re dissecting my character already? However, realising that this was not about him, he quickly pulled himself together. ‘How is she going to look after him?’

‘I think that Joshua may be back home only a few weeks before entering a hospice.’

‘Jesus!’

‘So, you can see, Carole needs all the kindness and understanding she can get at this time.’

‘Yes, of course. I will do whatever I can.’ Carlyle looked up to the grey heavens, wondering what exactly that might be.

Mayflower patted his arm. ‘God bless you, Inspector.’

As they finally reached Helen, a mobile started ringing to the tune of ‘Land of Hope and Glory’. Mayflower pulled a handset out of his jacket pocket. ‘Yes, I see,’ he said. He looked over at Carlyle. ‘Your guests are here.’

‘Excellent timing,’ said Carlyle.

‘Very well,’ Mayflower spoke into the handset, ‘I’ll be right there.’ Ending the call, he excused himself and headed back across the lawn towards the Palace.

Carlyle stepped up to Helen. Putting his arm around her, he gently kissed her forehead. ‘Are you okay?’

‘I’m fine,’ Helen smiled. She gestured with the urn towards an empty flower bed. ‘This is where Sir Ewen said we should put her ashes.’

‘Not very glamorous,’ Carlyle commented.

‘They will plant some summer damasks next year,’ Helen said. ‘Then it will be nice.’

Carlyle, who wouldn’t have known a summer damask from a hole in the ground, grunted his assent. Over Helen’s shoulder he watched Mayflower reappear with two women in tow. One he didn’t recognise — short and stumpy, she was looking around like she had just arrived on Mars. If her jaw dropped any further, it would soon hit the turf. The other woman he did know: she was tall, elegant and, even at this distance, obviously beautiful. Dressed in a dark business suit under a Burberry raincoat, she could have been simply passing through on her way to a much more classy engagement.

As Alexandra Gazizulin came closer, the inspector stiffened slightly, recognising the amused twinkle in her eye, and belatedly wondered whether having Helen in tow was such a good idea. It was too late to do anything about it now. Giving his wife another kiss, he whispered, ‘Thank you for coming.’

Taking his arm, Helen pulled him closer. ‘How else would I ever get the run of the gardens at Buckingham Palace?’

‘You know what I mean.’

She watched the trio approach. ‘You are a good man, John. Doing this for the poor girl and her mother.’

‘It’s not much.’

‘But it’s above and beyond the call of duty. And you also had to think of the idea in the first place.’

‘Maybe,’ Carlyle sighed. ‘I suppose so.’

‘I’m only sorry that there wasn’t a happy ending here.’

He breathed his wife’s perfume and gave silent thanks for all that she was; all that he had; his immense good fortune. Reflecting on all that Alzbetha Tishtenko, and Yulia Boyko, and God knows how many others didn’t have. ‘There are no happy endings,’ he declared morosely.

She grabbed his arm tighter. ‘Don’t be so gloomy,’ she chided softly. ‘Remember that old Carlyle saying: it’ll be all right in the end. .’

‘Yes,’ Carlyle laughed. ‘And if it’s not all right, that just means that it’s not yet the end!’

‘Exactly.’ Stepping away from him, Helen moved forward to greet the others.

Alexandra Gazizulin made the introductions, translating for the benefit of Alzbetha’s mother, who nodded once or twice but said nothing. Carlyle watched the woman sway slightly, her eyes glassy and unfocused. He wondered if she was on medication. Helen carefully handed her the urn and they retreated to a respectful distance, while she spread the ashes in the designated spot.

Helen then took Sir Ewen by the arm and whisked him off to a nearby bench in order to buttonhole him about Avalon, the international medical charity where she worked. Carlyle had been aghast at her plan to try and use the day for a bit of networking, but she had primly informed him that this was a unique opportunity that could not be passed up. For his part, the old man was clearly delighted to be cornered by this handsome younger woman. Sitting down together, they were quickly engaged in an animated conversation.

Alex followed his gaze. ‘You have a lovely wife,’ she remarked, with only the slightest edge in her voice.

‘I do,’ he replied. ‘I am very lucky.’ He watched Alzbetha’s mother empty the last of the urn, replace the lid and mumble something to herself. ‘What will she do now?’ he asked.

‘She wants to go shopping.’ Alex looked at the expression on Carlyle’s face and laughed. ‘Why not?’

‘It’s not exactly what you would expect after you’ve lost a child,’ Carlyle huffed.

‘She had six kids,’ Alex shrugged. ‘She looked after three of them; gave the other three away. That’s not bad by Ukrainian standards. She did her best. You can’t afford to be too sentimental.’

‘Fair enough.’ It was Carlyle’s turn to shrug. Who was he to judge?

‘I’ve given her?200 to go and spend in Harrods on her way back to the airport. Harrods, imagine! She is very excited by it all.’

‘Thank you for bringing her over.’

‘It was my responsibility.’ Alex stared into the middle distance. ‘We made a bad mistake. The best I can do is to make sure that we don’t do it again. There are limits.’

‘Yes,’ Carlyle agreed, ‘there are.’

Just then, Alzbetha’s mother appeared in front of them. Eyes lowered, she murmured something to Alex and handed her the urn. Without acknowledging Carlyle in any way, she turned and stomped away across the lawn.

‘Harrods time,’ Carlyle said to no one in particular. He turned to Alex. ‘You know, I’ve lived my whole life in London and I don’t think I’ve ever gone there.’

She arched an eyebrow. ‘I’m not surprised. It’s only for classy people.’

‘Thanks a lot!’ he gasped, in mock indignation.

‘I’m more of a Harvey Nichols girl myself,’ Alex told him.

‘I can imagine,’ Carlyle replied. And he could. It was clear that the term ‘high maintenance’ did not even begin to cover Alexandra Gazizulin.

‘Hopefully they will open a franchise in Kiev one day. Here.’ Alex handed the urn to Carlyle. ‘She wants you to keep it.’

Carlyle turned it over in his hands. A squat brown box, it looked like a tea caddy. ‘Thanks.’

Alex sighed. ‘It is time for me to go.’

‘Shall I get Sir Ewen to show you out?’

‘No. It looks like he is getting on well with your wife,’ she murmured. ‘I would not wish to interrupt. We can see ourselves out.’

‘Okay.’

‘Don’t worry,’ Alex teased, ‘we will not steal anything on the way to the gate.’

Carlyle laughed, but said nothing.

‘We might visit the gift shop though.’

‘It’s expensive.’

‘I guess they need the money.’ She gestured towards the Palace. ‘It’s a bit run-down, no? It could do with a makeover.’