Bill Crider: Shotgun Saturday Night

“Said she was goin’ blind again,” Hack finally said.

“Who’d you send to change the bulb?” Rhodes asked. Mrs. Thurman was nearly ninety and lived alone. Every now and then a light bulb burned out in her kitchen or her living room. When it happened, she called the sheriff’s office and said that she was going blind, that everything was getting dark. After the first call, Rhodes had begun sending over someone with a bulb.

“Sent the new deputy,” Hack said. The new deputy was a sore point with Hack.

“You know,” Rhodes said, “I think that new Wal-Mart is having a sale on those long-life bulbs. I ought to buy a few and keep them in reserve for Mrs. Thurman.”

“You ask me, you spoil that old woman,” a new voice put in. It was the jailer, Lawton, coming in from the cell block.

“Who you callin’ old ?” Hack asked. “Miz Thurman’s not much older’n you, you old buzzard.”

Lawton was seventy, but he didn’t look it. In fact, if Hack Jensen resembled Bud Abbott, Lawton looked a lot like Lou Costello, his face still almost baby-smooth, round, and chubby. “Maybe so,” he said, “but she ain’t got so much on you, either.” Then he happened to look over at Rhodes’s desk. “Godamighty,” he said. “What’s that?”

“Just what you think it is,” Rhodes said. “That’s all I know, though.”

“What’s the county comin’ to, I wonder?” Lawton said. “I ain’t never seen anything like that on a sheriff’s desk before.”

“There’s more where that came from,” Hack said. “Ain’t that right, sheriff?”

“That’s right,” Rhodes replied. “But that’s something you’ll have to keep to yourselves.”

“I guess we know how to do that,” Hack said.

“I’m going to take that thing over to Ballinger’s,” Rhodes said. “Send the new deputy”-now he was doing it, he thought-”Send the new deputy over there with a fingerprint kit. I don’t expect we’ll find anything, but we’ve got to give it a try.” He carefully picked up the arm and carried it out to the car.

He drove toward Ballinger’s, thinking about the new deputy. He thought she was working out fine, but Hack and Lawton didn’t approve. The idea of a woman deputy was almost too much for them, and they couldn’t even bring themselves to call her by her name, which happened to be Ruth Grady.

Rhodes had been surprised when she applied for the job, but she was certainly qualified for it. She’d been to a community college near Houston and gotten an associate degree in law enforcement, which required her to work for a local law enforcement agency twenty hours a week for two semesters. Then she’d worked for a little police department in South Texas for a couple of years. The climate had been too humid and disagreeable for her, however, and she’d moved to Clearview to live with her bedridden father. Her father had died a few weeks before the episode that had involved Rhodes’s former deputy, Johnny Sherman. When she found out about the vacancy on Rhodes’s staff, she had applied.

Rhodes himself had been skeptical at first, but she was qualified for the job, certainly more qualified than anyone else who had applied, and he had hired her. Hack and Lawton were not pleased.

Rhodes left the arm at the funeral home with the others, told Clyde that Ruth Grady would be the one coming to do the fingerprinting, and drove home. Saturday afternoon was generally a slow time for the forces of law and order in Blacklin County. The business people were hard at work trying to earn a few dollars, and those who had the day off were at home relaxing and having a beer or taking a nap-maybe watching a little television. Saturday night was a different story, but for the time being things were quiet.

Rhodes pulled up in his driveway and called Hack on the radio to let him know where he’d be. “Have the new. . have Ruth call me if she finds anything at Ballinger’s,” he said.

“I’ll do it,” Hack said. “She took care of Miz Thurman, and she’ll be over to Ballinger’s pretty soon.”

Rhodes got out of the car. Thanks to the August heat and the lack of rain, his yard was covered with brown, dry grass. He figured that he’d let nature take its course; if it rained, the yard got water. Otherwise, it didn’t. The grass would have to fend for itself. Rhodes hated yard work. Besides, if the grass died, that meant he didn’t have to mow it. The appearance of the yard had gone downhill considerably since his daughter, Kathy, had taken a teaching job in Richardson. She had left three weeks before to find an apartment and get settled, and the yard missed her already.

For that matter, Rhodes missed her, too. Since his wife, Claire, had died, Kathy had more or less taken care of him, not that he wasn’t capable of taking care of himself. But her involvement with Johnny Sherman and his own involvement-if that’s what it was, he thought-with Ivy Daniel had combined to make her decide that it was time to leave. Rhodes was glad, in a way, because she had a lot to offer the teaching profession. Still, the old house was empty without her.

He wandered into the living room and turned on the television set. John Wayne was just returning Natalie Wood to her family, after having searched relentlessly for her for years. Everyone in the family embraced and went inside their cabin, leaving John Wayne to stand alone on the porch outside. Rhodes knew how he felt. Then his mind drifted to the catch-phrase that the Duke had spoken throughout the movie: “That’ll be the day.” He thought about the Buddy Holly song that phrase had inspired and immediately felt better. One of these days he was going to dig out all his old 45 rpm records and play them for Ivy Daniel.

He thought about Ivy for a minute and wondered if she was old enough to remember Buddy Holly. He thought she probably was, but her age was something they’d never discussed. He decided not to bring it up when he played the records.

He remembered that the records were in the back of the hall closet in a cardboard box. He was moving coats and sweaters out of the way when the telephone rang.

It was Ruth Grady. “I’m over at Ballinger’s, Sheriff,” she said. “I think you’d better come over here if you can.”

“I’ll be there in a minute,” Rhodes said. The records could wait.

Ruth Grady was short and compact. “Chunky” was the word that Hack had used, though not in her hearing. She had short, brown hair and wore a Western-style straw hat. There was a short-barreled.38 in a holster at her waist, and she looked every inch a law officer, even if she was only sixty-four inches tall.

“I found it when I opened the second box,” she said, showing Rhodes a yellow tag. Written on the tag was a man’s name, Frank Royster.

“Somebody identifying the victims?” Rhodes said. “That’s a new one.”

They were standing in one of Ballinger’s back rooms, the boxes open in front of them.

“Not exactly,” Ruth said. “That tag is for identification, all right, but it wasn’t put there by any crazed axe murderer or anything like that. It’s the kind of tag they use to identify amputated limbs.”

Rhodes hadn’t been to the same school that Ruth had attended, but he caught on quickly. “I had a feeling all along that this wasn’t a murder case,” he said. “It’s just a little too bizarre for Blacklin County.”

“I guess you’re right,” Ruth said, “but we still have a lot of arms and legs here. They have to be disposed of somehow.”

“Ballinger may be able to take care of that for us,” Rhodes said. “That still leaves us with a case of illegal dumping, though. I thought hospitals were supposed to dispose of things like that.”

Ruth hitched up her gun. “They are. I think we better talk to Mr. Ballinger.”