Ed Mcbain - Nocturne

"Yes, but only because I was afraid Bernie would do something bad to me."

"Did you pay him the twenty you owed him? Or did you stiff him, too?"

"I don't know what stiff means."

"Tell him what it means to stiff somebody," Nellie said to the interpreter.

"Ever leave a restaurant without tipping the waiter?" McNalley asked.

"I always tip waiters," Lorenzo said. "What does that have to do with Bernie?"

"She's asking did you go back on your word with him, too?" Moscowitz said. "Isn't that right, Counselor?"

"It's close enough," Nellie said. "Ask him" she told McNalley, who immediately translated the question.

"I didn't go back on my word with him or anyone else," Lorenzo answered. "I didn't stiff anybody, however you say it. I paid Bernie his money, and I did everything Svetlana paid me to do. Except for the cat."

"Except for the cat, right," Nellie said. "The cat, you shot in the head."

"Well."

"Well, didn't you?"

"Yes. I don't like cats."

"Gee, I love them" Nellie said.

And I'm the D.A." she thought.

"What'd you do with the other five thousand?"

"I bet it on the horses."

win?

"Did you " "

"I lost."

"All around," Nellie said.

All during lunch, Priscilla kept complaining about her cheap grandmother leaving her a mere five thousand clams. Georgie kept thinking about the ninety-five thou hidden in one of the black patent-leather dancing slippers in a shoebox in his closet.

First thing he did when he got back to the apartment was check the stash. There it was, in a spanking-clean envelope with a rubber band around it, as beautiful as when he'd put it there yesterday, bulging with money. He counted the money. He wanted to throw it up in the air and let it come down on his head. Instead, he put it back in the envelope and put the rubber band around it again, and put the envelope in one of the shoes, and then put the lid back on the box and put the box back on the top shelf. He closed the closet door. The phone on the kitchen wall was ringing. He went out to it.

It was Tony.

"When do we split the cash?" he wanted to know.

I'll come by your place before we go to the club tonight," Georgie said.

"What's half of ninety-five?" Tony wanted to know. "Forty-seven and change." "How much change?" "Five bills."

"Bring the change, too," Tony said, and hung up.

"What we've got here," Moscowitz said, "is a mercy killing, pure and simple."

"What we've got here, pure and simple," Nellie said, "is Murder Two. In fact, what we may have here, Alan, is murder for hire, which just may qualify for the death penalty."

"Oh, come on, Nellie, really."

"Man takes money to kill someone, that sounds to me like a contract killing."

"Woman gives a man money to assist her in committing suicide, that sounds to me like a mitzvah." "What's a mitzvah?"

"You don't know what a mitzvah is?"

"No, what's a mitzvah?"

"How long have you been practicing law in "this city?"

"Are you going to tell me what a mitzvah is?" "It's a good deed."

"Man shoots a woman .." "She asked him to shoot her." "That's a good deed by you?"

"That's a mitzvah. Nellie, this man isn't a criminal, he's .. ."

"Then what is he? An angel? He murdered a woman in cold blood. Shot her twice in the chest."

"She wanted to die!"

"How about the cat? Did she want to die, too?" "Okay, I'll give you the cat."

"You'll give me more than the goddamn cat, Alan." "What are you looking for?"

"Are the acoustics in here bad? I told you. Murder Two. Murder for hire. Lethal injection. That's what I'm looking for."

"This wasn't murder for hire, and you know it." "He got twenty-five grand to kill her!"

"But she's the one who gave it to him. This wasn't some outside party who hired him to kill her. This was the victim herself who..."

"Victim, you've got it, Alan."

"... who wanted to die, but didn't have the nerve to kill herself. She's arthritic, she's got a brain tumor, she's about to go stone-deaf, she's about to lose the nerves in her face, all she wants is out. My client helped her."

"Right, he's a Good Samaritan."

"No, he's a compassionate man who..."

"Who murdered her for twenty-five grand so he could pay off his bookie!"

"The best you've got here is Criminal Facilitation One. But this case is something that'll bring tears to a jury's eyes. Give him Facilitation Four, and we've got..."

"Facil . " She almost choked on it. "That's a class-A mis!"

'"Okay, forget it then. Take a look at 120.30 instead. Promoting a Suicide Attempt. A person is guilty of promoting a suicide attempt when he intentionally

"

causes... " or aids another person to attempt suicide," Nellie finished for him. "This wasn't an attempt, Alan! This was eminently successful. The woman is dead. And so's her cat."

"Lay off the goddamn cat, will you? We're talking about a woman in agony and pain, we're talking about a sympathetic man who..."

"You're talking about a lousy class-E felony, is what you're talking about. We're wasting time here, Alan. Let's roll the dice."

"All right, I'll grant you the suicide attempt was a

"

success ..

"What suicide? He murdered her."

"Didn't you just say the attempt was successful? Eminently successful, weren't those your words? So what's it going to be, Nellie? Did the guy go in there and shoot her in cold blood, or did he merely help her commit suicide? You go for Murder Two, that's what the jury'll have to decide."

"Good, let them decide." "Take a look at Michigan." "Don't sing me Kevorkian."

"Gets kicked out each and every time."

"This isn't Michigan. And Kevorkian didn't shoot anybody."

"A jury might not see it that way, Nell."

"Don't call me Nell. I wasn't raised in the woods." "Tell you what..." "Sure, tell me."

"We're forgetting murder for hire, am I right?" "Who said so?"

"Arguendo. And I guess you know that an affirmative defense..."

"Don't insult me, Alan."

"... under 125.25 is that the defendant caused or aided another person to commit suicide."

"That's an affirmative defence, all right."

"Which happens to be the case here. An assisted suicide."

"So?"

"So you're absolutely right. You go for Murder Two,

we'd be rolling the dice. And you just might lose." "What do you suggest?" "man Two." "No way."

"A person is guilty of manslaughter in the second degree..."

"I know the section."

"... when he intentionally causes or aids another person to commit suicide."

"Man One is the best I can give you, Alan. Provided we agree on the max."

"That's too much to pay for a mitzvah."

"A mitzvah, my ass. Man One. The max, Alan.

Eight and a third to twenty-five. Take it or leave it." "Make it two to six." "No."

"The poor bastard's a foreigner."

"Tough."

"He can't speak English, he looks like Robert Redford. You know what they'll do to him in prison?"

"He should've thought of that before he murdered the old lady."

"Come on, Nellie. You know he's not a killer. What do you say? The minimum, okay? Two to six, okay?"

"I'll give you a straight five to fifteen. And we'll oppose parole after five."

"You're a hard woman."

"I'll also throw in the cat. Have we got a deal?" "A hard woman," Moscowitz said, shaking his head. "Yes or no?"

"What choice do I have?"

"Good. Let's go home."

It was almost twelve' thirty when Carella and Hawes finished all the paperwork. They both looked bone-weary.

"Go home," Byrnes told them, "it's been along night."

"Uh-huh," Carella said. "Get some sleep." "Uh-huh," Hawes said.

"You've still got a dead hooker on your plate," Byrnes reminded them.

To qualify, a school had to answer positively to two questions: "Do you have a football team?" and "Are your school colors navy blue and white?"