Chris Grabenstein - Rolling Thunder

Janet gently returns the phone to its cradle.

“She’ll be right out.” Now she looks ill.

“Appreciate it,” says Ceepak.

“Excuse me. I need to, um.”

“Take your break?” suggests Ceepak.

“Yeah!” Janet Costello dashes up the hall.

But not quickly enough. Mrs. Starky steps out of a door.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“Bathroom?”

“Make it fast.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Janet hurries to the last door on the left. Goes in. Pulls the door shut. I hear her lock it.

“I was just on the phone with my daughter,” Mrs. Starky says to me. “You remember her, Daniel?”

“Of course.”

“Well, she tells me you broke another date. I told her she was lucky.”

Ceepak steps up: “Officer Boyle and I are working on a murder investigation and have had to temporarily put our personal lives on hold.”

“You do that a lot, don’t you?”

“Yes, ma’am. I suppose we do.”

“Which is why, if you don’t mind a little free advice, the two of you should grow up; stop playing cowboy all day.”

My fingers tickle the handgrip of my Glock.

Not really. Just in my mind. And my dreams.

Mrs. Starky looks like she sounds. Dyed hair that streams down to her too-low-for-her-age neckline. Her bangs hit her eyelashes because I suspect her hair curtains are designed to cover scars from the assorted facelifts that pulled her puffy cheeks back to her ears.

Years ago, my mother told me the spookiest thing: The girl you are dating will become her mother when you marry her.

I think I want to join Janet Costello in the toilet.

“We need some information,” says Ceepak, totally unruffled by Mrs. Starky.

“Me, too,” she says, turning to me again. “Are you ever going to get serious, Mr. Boyle? Because Samantha could do a whole lot better. I tell her she should date the boys at law school. Go online. Do Match dot com.” She turns to Ceepak. “No disrespect to your wife, Officer Ceepak, but who in their right mind would marry a cop?”

My turn: “Well, if somebody didn’t marry us, where would all the little cops come from?”

Mrs. Starky just sighs. I think I proved her point for her.

“What kind of information do you need?” she says to Ceepak.

“We’d like to talk to the owner of number One Tangerine Street.”

I see her nose twitch a little, which means it wants to twitch a lot but her plastic surgeon made the skin too tight in the last nose job.

“Why?”

“They may have been witnesses to a murder.”

“The waitress?” The way she says it, she wanted to say, “The whore?”

“Yes, ma’am. Gail Baker.”

She turns to me again. “Friend of yours, Daniel?”

“Yeah. Sort of.”

Hey, I know just about everybody on the island; I grew up here.

“Figures. Does Samantha know about this one?”

“What? That she’s dead?”

I’m hoping that knocks the horsey tooth smile off her painted face, but it doesn’t. Instead, she goes for the low blow.

“That seems to happen to a lot of your ex-girlfriends, doesn’t it, Danny?”

“Mrs. Starky?” This from Ceepak. “We came here for information. If you have issues with your daughter’s romantic relationships, may I suggest that you discuss that matter privately with the concerned parties at a more appropriate time?”

That’s how Ceepak says, “Shut up, you old windbag.”

The nose tries to twitch again. Just one nostril.

“What do you need to know?”

“Evidence on the scene indicates that number One Tangerine Street, unlike most of the other homes on the street, is currently occupied and, therefore, may present our best opportunity for locating a witness.”

“We handle number One Tangerine,” she says.

“Is it a rental property?”

“During the high season. The owners typically use it themselves through the end of June.”

“So the owners would be the ones using it now?”

“That’s right.”

“Can you tell us how to contact them?”

“Do you have a warrant?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“A search warrant? Some sort of official document compelling me to release confidential information?”

“No, but-”

“I’m sorry. I have privacy issues to consider.”

I put my hands on my gun belt, let the leather crinkle. “You did hear us say we’re investigating a murder, right?”

“Protecting my client’s privacy is my primary concern. I’m sorry you wasted your time stopping by. And, Danny?”

“Yes, ma’am?”

“The next time a girl tells you that she loves you, at least pretend you heard her say it. Spare her mother the teary phone calls.”

I know the receptionist at Dr. Hausler’s office, too.

“He’ll be right with you guys,” she says-with a smile, naturally.

The Smile Center is the same sort of drop-ceiling box of an office as All-A-Shore Realty. Only here the walls and fake flowers are pink. Like gums, I guess. There’s this huge black-and-white photograph behind the receptionist desk of two models with dazzlingly bright smiles.

“Officers?” Dr. Hausler comes into the waiting area in his lime green smock.

“Dr. Marvin Hausler?” says Ceepak in that scary way you never want to hear a law enforcement officer say your name.

“That’s right. What’s this all about?”

“Gail Baker.”

“What about her?”

“We understand you two dated.”

“Is that against the law?” The monkey-faced schmuck in the smock thinks he just made a funny, so he triumphantly pushes his glasses up on his nose.

“No, sir,” says Ceepak. “However, Ms. Baker was recently murdered.”

“What?”

I help the dentist out: “Somebody killed her.”

Dr. Hausler blinks a lot. “Stephanie?”

“Yes, sir?”

“Perhaps you should go home.”

Stephanie grabs her stuff, jams it into her pocketbook, and scoots out the door.

“Am I a suspect?” Dr. Hausler asks when the receptionist is gone.

“Where were you last night, Dr. Hausler?” says Ceepak.

“I am a suspect, aren’t I? Why? Because I called her a bitch and a tease?”

“Last night?”

“I had a date.”

“With whom?”

“This girl.”

“What girl?”

Hausler unsnaps the collar of his smock. “Her name was Amber.”

Ceepak and I each puzzle up an eyebrow.

“She works for an escort service. Elegant Encounters.” Dr. Hausler fumbles in his pants-the back pockets, thank God. Pulls out a wallet. “Here. This is the credit card receipt. They put the girl’s name on the receipt, but I think it might be an alias or a stage name.”

Well, duh.

“When did your ‘date’ begin?” asks Ceepak.

“Eight o’clock.”

“And when did it end?”

I’m guessing eight-oh-two .

“She left at three or four in the morning.”

“Why the long night?”

Dr. Hausler blushes.

“We ended up in a barter situation.”

“Come again?”

“Her tooth was hurting her. Number fifteen on the upper right. The pulp chamber had seriously deteriorated and she desperately needed a root canal. So, we came here.”

Why do I think Dr. Hausler gave Amber all the nitrous oxide she wanted?

“The procedure took quite some time … and then … well … as I stated, it was a barter situation.”

“Do you have a phone number for this Elegant Encounters agency?” asks Ceepak.

Dr. Hausler dips back into the wallet. Pulls out a black-and-pink business card. Or, it could be one of those club cards they punch every time you buy something, like at the coffee shop; get enough hole punches, you get a freebie.

“Elegant Encounters provides a very useful service,” Hausler goes on while Ceepak jots down the information from the card. “They cater to professional and upscale gentlemen seeking companionship-men whose lifestyles may not allow them the opportunity to meet quality people in conventional ways.”