Reginald Hill - The Price of Butcher

Shouldnt have said it maybe-provocative! — amp; I felt real guilty when I saw him go all red- amp; look away- amp; start stuttering-no-Im sorry-but sometimes…

I cut in quick-hey-thats fine-really-a girl likes to be held in the dark sometimes-as well as in the light! — look-shouldnt you be in your tent-curing lepers amp; stuff?-

He said-oh yes I suppose-not sure where it is-looking round like a Martian dropped on a York racecourse. So I said-lets go find it then-

We set off side by side-arms occasionally brushing against each other-sort of companiable-till we reached a little tent with a tastefully designed shingle reading-Gordon Godley-Healer-hanging by the entrance flap. No queue though-I reckon most of the guests were getting stuck into the booze amp; buffet-appetite before ailment! — in fact there was only one person by the tent-Franny Roote- amp; I reckon he was still playing hide amp; seek with Andy Dalziel.

In fact-as we reached the tent-I saw Andy heading our way. Maybe Fran saw him too-for suddenly he spun his chair round- amp; did a sort of wheelchair racing start!

Unfortunately he was right alongside a taut guy rope. One of the wheels hit it-rose up- amp; next thing the whole contraption went over- amp; poor Franny was sprawling at our feet!

Gord moved quickly. He stooped down-put both his arms round Frannys torso amp; pulled him up-while I righted the chair amp; maneuvered it so he could sink into it.

But he didnt-he just clung tight to Gord-very tight indeed-I mean like they were doing the tango! I could see his face-Frannys I mean-filled with a sort of light-eyes shining-lips moving-but no words coming out.

They stood there-locked together-neither moving-like a statue of a pair of gay lovers.

Then Franny broke Gords grip- amp; pushed him away-finally letting go his own hold on Gord-till he stood there-all alone-unsupported-unaided.

Finally he took a short step forward-then another-then a third- amp; he threw his head back amp; screamed at the sky-I can walk!-

That got everyones attention I can tell you! Suddenly no one was thinking about stuffing their faces anymore. The crowd at the buffet turned-dissolved amp; then reformed in a circle-with Franny amp; Gord at its center.

Tom appeared-took in what was happening-his face filled with delight-if hed stage managed it things couldnt have turned out better! Andy Dalziel too got into the ring-looked Fran right in the face-hard to tell what he was thinking-but before he could say anything-who should come rushing forward but Ess Denham! Never heard her say a good word to-or about-Franny Roote-but now she grabbed hold of him like he was her long lost twin- amp; hit him with a hug that made his previous embrace of Gord look like a near miss!

What the hells going off here? — I asked myself.

Then Ess lowered Fran back into his chair-saying-dont overdo it.

People pressed close now-oohing amp; aahing amp; shooting questions amp; not listening to answers- amp; I saw Gord slip away into his tent.

I followed him-grabbed hold of his shoulder. He turned- amp; said-what? — I said-congratulations! He said-it wasnt me. I said-yes I know, the spirit working through you-He said-no-I dont know-Im not sure- amp; I said-oh stop being so negative! — do yourself a favor-be positive once in your life!

He looked straight at me-then he said-right! — I will be!-

amp; next thing I knew hed grabbed hold of me amp; plonked his lips on mine-like he was trying to gag me!-

My first reaction was-do I knee him or just push him off?

Then I thought-doesnt he realize hes the worst kisser in the universe? — amp; purely in a spirit of charity amp; education-I ran my tongue along his lips till his mouth opened- amp; I stuck my tongue in-

It was like igniting the blue touch paper on a firework-except there was no chance to retire! I could tell this was undiscovered country to him-the way he dived down my throat- amp; pulled me so close I felt my spine creak. When one of his hands slid down onto my buttock-the left one-I think-I managed to pull my head back amp; said-you think Ive got a boil on my bum needs healing or what?-

His hand jerked away like Id turned red hot.

I grabbed it amp; put it back.

— dont be shy-I said-or if you are-I can cure that-

Perhaps Sis-I do have the nursing instinct after all.

Or maybe it was just I realized I was really having a good time!

Thought it would take a pickax to prize us apart-but all it took was a small figure bursting into the tent-Minnie Parker of course.

She said-looking at Gord with some distrust-if you marry him-will he be my brother-in-law when I marry George?-

— Min-I said-whats with all this marrying? — thats the way old books end. Nowadays on the other hand…

I wasnt sure how to finish. I neednt have worried. Min was quite up to the task.

— people just do sex-she said-but youll still be my sister-in-law if I do sex with George-wont you?-

— Ill always be your friend Minnie-I said-now bugger off!-

’Cos I wanted to get back to educating Gord!

There you have it. Crazy huh? Me amp; the healer! Nowhere for it to go of course-but somehow Im looking forward to going nowhere with him!

What about Loathsome Liam amp; his fulsome apology-you ask?

Well-I read through the letter a dozen times-couldnt make up my mind-one minute it was forgive! — next it was forget! — but no problem now. First thing I did when I got back here was-tear it up! Why repeat an old mistake when theres a whole world of new ones out there just waiting to be made!

Cant wait for the Headbanger to meet Gord! Tonight perhaps-or maybe tomorrow morning. Havent told George yet-but hes just taking my bag home-me-Im getting a lift in the famous sidecar- amp; its my intention to return to Willingden by way of Willingdene-where I look forward to putting Godly Gordons miraculous powers to a strenuous amp; extended test!

But I shouldnt joke. After all-I did see today what in another age would be called a miracle. I hope-for Frannys sake-it proves permanent.

amp; I suppose-in a way-me snogging Gord has to be some kind of miracle too-hasnt it? Or is that just overstating the totally unexpected?

Doesnt matter. Getting what you know you want is rarely a big deal. Plus theres usually some small print somewhere that we havent noticed.

Its when you get what was unimaginable-even in your daftest dreams-that you may find youve got an unconditional bargain!

Callous? Selfish? Certainly daft as a brush? I hear you say.

So whats new? Youve called me all of those-several times-ever since I was old enough to take notice of what you were saying!

For the time being the important thing is-Im happy. Like you-I hope. Your good works may get you to heaven-but I bet its the mahogany hunk that makes you glad to wake up every morning!

So sweet dreams sis. Come home safe to us sometime soon. Bring the mh with you. Or if it all goes pear shaped-well-never worry. Completely free of charge-Godly Gordon will cure your physical ills- amp; for a very reasonable fee your clever little sister will give you a one to one analysis session!

Love love love

Charley xxx

It was late afternoon when Andy Dalziel got back to the Avalon.

It had been a peculiarly unsatisfactory day. He had set out for the Grand Opening determined to resolve some of the questions still niggling away in his mind. But instead of answers, all he was coming back with was more questions. A lot of them centered on Franny Roote, but there’d been no chance to put them. The deliriously happy young man had been taken over by Lester Feldenhammer who, aided by Pet Sheldon, had probed and prodded at his legs, watched as he took a few still unsteady but increasingly confident steps, then invited him to attend at the Avalon for a comprehensive examination. After that he had sat down again in his wheelchair-talking to the crowds of people who came to congratulate or simply gawk-occasionally standing up as if to reassure himself he could still do it- amp; all the while smiling so broadly it would have taken a harder man than Andy Dalziel to try and wipe it off his face.