Quintin Jardine - Dead And Buried

‘Aye.’

‘Describe them.’

‘Whit. . colour, like?’

‘No, just their expression.’

‘He looked like a fuckin’ Martian, like he wis frae another planet. Ken what Ah mean?’

‘Maybe, but explain.’

‘They were standing oot frae his heid like big pickled onions. But Ah suppose that’s no’ surprisin’ gi’en that he’d jist had a finger whacked aff.’

‘And had you ever seen him before?’

‘Naw, Ah don’t think so.’

‘There we go with that “think” again. Had you seen him before or had you not?’

‘Ah. . Ah’m just no’ sure. There wis somethin’ about him that rang a bell, sort o’, but Ah’m buggered if Ah can remember, like Ah’ve seen the boy somewhere, but no’ there. D’ye ken?’

‘Sure, I know what you mean. One more thing and then we’re done. All the way through you’ve called him “the boy”. How old did you think he was?’

‘Early twenties.’

‘Are you certain?’

‘Oh, aye, Ah’m sure of that. Ah’ve got a brither that’s twenty-four, and this lad’s younger than him.’

Interesting , thought Pye. ‘Okay, Mr Smith, that’s us done.’ He switched off the tape. ‘I’ll have this typed up as a formal statement. You can either wait to sign it, or I’ll have an officer bring it to your home address or to your work.’

‘Ah’ll wait. Dinna want the polis at ma door, and Mr Starr’ll no thank me if yis come tae the shop for me.’

‘As you wish. Since you’ve missed your lunch, I’ll have somebody bring you a coffee and a sandwich while you wait. Want a paper as well?’

‘The News , if ye’ve got it. Ah’ll try and remember where Ah’ve seen the boy, honest.’

‘You do that,’ said Pye as he opened the door. ‘Maybe you bumped into him running the bulls in Pamplona.’

‘My apologies, Neil,’ said Skinner, glancing at his watch as McIlhenney came in. ‘I said three o’clock, and I hate being late for a meeting I’ve called myself, especially when it’s in my own office.’

‘No worries, boss. I’ve been pretty busy clearing my desk anyway.’

‘Did you contact Inspector Shannon?’

‘Yes, I got hold of her. She’ll be here, three thirty on the dot, along with Mario.’

‘Fine, that gives us fifteen minutes. Coffee?’

‘I’ll pass: I’ll have some water from your fridge, though.’

The deputy chief constable frowned. ‘Of course you will. Christ alone knows why they want me on this London operation: I’m so bloody efficient I forgot you’ve chucked caffeine.’ He took a bottle of water from the small cooler beside his desk, and tossed it to McIlhenney, then poured himself a mug of coffee from his filter.

The chief inspector moved to take the chair that faced across the DCC’s desk, but Skinner motioned him towards his informal seating. ‘So,’ he asked, as he settled into the soft leather upholstery, ‘why did you want to see me first, before the other two get here? Is it to talk over the London job?’

‘In a way, a negative sort of way: it’s to tell you that you’re not going.’

McIlhenney’s face was impassive. ‘I see. And are you going to tell me why, sir?’

‘Look, stop the “sir” stuff: there’s no one else here and it makes you sound like you’re in the huff. You’ve no need to be, I promise you.’

‘Okay, but why the change of mind? Has that man O’Malley been saying things he shouldn’t?’

‘No, he hasn’t. Kevin’s report on your counselling session was very positive, not that I ever had any doubt that it would be. I’m not taking you with me because I’ve got more need of you here; it’s as simple as that.’

‘But Special Branch is quiet, now that the last crisis is over and done with.’

Skinner laughed. ‘You can predict when the bird’s going to hit the windmill, can you, Neil? That makes you a better copper than me. No, it’s got nothing to do with SB. It has to do with you and your career. There are two appointments I need to make. Greg Jay’s sudden vanishing trick has left me needing someone to take over command of CID in East and Midlothian.’

‘Yes, so what’s the other?’

‘It’s in Leith.’

‘Leith?’

Skinner nodded. ‘Yes, and don’t act so surprised. You know there’s a head of CID vacancy as well, now that Dan Pringle’s gone, and you know who the grapevine says is favourite for it.’

‘The grapevine gives Maggie Rose a chance, and Brian Mackie, and Alastair Grant too.’

‘Maybe, but it doesn’t know that Maggie’s ruled herself out of consideration.’

‘Has she?’ said McIlhenney, surprised.

‘Yes. I saw her the other day, just to sound her out, mind, not to offer her the job. She told me that she’s happy in uniform, and that if she moved back to CID it would be awkward, now that she’s living with a detective inspector. As for Brian, he’s doing a great job commanding the city division, plus he’s first in line for ACC if Haggerty goes. Alastair? Between ourselves, he’s reached his ceiling.’

‘Which leaves. .’

‘Your boyhood mate, Mario McGuire. He’s our choice, the chief’s and mine, effective immediately.’

‘Which leads to the vacancy in Leith?’

‘Yes, but. .’

‘There always is a “but”, isn’t there?’

‘It’s one of life’s immutable laws. In this case it comes about because I’m making some changes in the CID structure. I need more foot-soldiers out there, but there are budget constraints as always. To fund them, I need to cut down on the number of chiefs. That means that there are going to be fewer detective-superintendent posts. Obviously I can’t demote people who are already in situ , so the phasing in’s going to take some time.’

‘And Leith’s where it begins?’

‘Exactly.’

‘So?’

‘So I’m putting Bandit Mackenzie in there. He’s fitted into the Drugs Squad well, but with the Scottish Drugs Enforcement Agency making more and more progress, I can get by with a detective inspector in that post.’

McIlhenney scratched his chin. ‘I see. Does that mean you’re working up to telling me that I’m going to Jay’s old job on a level transfer?’

‘Do you want it?’

‘Honestly? I’d rather stay where I am.’

‘That’s not an option: you’ve done your stint in Special Branch. But don’t worry: I was taking the piss about moving you to Dalkeith. Jay’s deputy will step up there. I owe you more than that, for all you’ve done for this force, and for me. I’ve got something in mind for you, but I’ll tell you about it when the others arrive. I wanted you in here first, not just to break it to you that you’re not coming to London with me, but to ask you about Shannon’s vetting.’

‘It’s done, boss, as you asked. You gave us short notice, but Alice Cowan, my assistant, briefed me an hour ago. She’s clean as a whistle, an exemplary officer with nothing in her background that need worry you. She’s firearms qualified and a bloody good shot too, according to the range supervisor.’

‘And the personal thing that we’d heard about?’

‘She’s over that: she has a steady relationship with a man who works in the Bank of Scotland computer department. They’ve been seeing each other for three years.’

‘She’s not likely to get pregnant on me as well, is she?’

‘Not a prayer. She was involved in a road accident when she was fourteen: a drunk driver hit her father’s car. He, the dad, was killed, and she suffered severe abdominal injuries. She recovered, but minus her uterus.’ McIlhenney looked at his friend. ‘What did you mean by “as well”, by the way?’