Janelle Denison: Ready-Made Bride

He carried her wedding band in his pocket, and there wasn’t an hour that ticked by that he didn’t think about what she’d said or recall how devastated he’d felt when she’d removed the ring. Except he feared he lacked the finesse to patch things up. He feared it was too late for apologies.

He briefly squeezed his eyes shut to ward off the throbbing in his temples. Somehow, he knew an apology wasn’t what Megan was looking for.

“I think Mom feels bad.” Andrew picked at the crumbs on his piece of toast, giving the task more attention than it warranted. “She doesn’t smile half as much anymore, and she always looks like she’s been crying.”

Kane swallowed a gulp of hot coffee, trying to save himself from responding to that observation. What was he supposed to say? “Yeah, son, I’m the one making Megan miserable. I’m the one with more pride than sense.” He inwardly groaned at the truth of that statement.

Even though Megan had pried his deepest, darkest secret from him, not once did she ridicule him, nor had she rejected him, even when he wanted her to so he wouldn’t have to face his own failures, his own shame. The woman was incredible, unwavering in her support even as she walked away from him. When you’re ready to face your illiteracy, and you’re ready to trust me, then we can have a real marriage and be a real family.

She’d put the ball in his court, and he was floundering, grappling to find just the perfect backhand to return the serve. He was scared of screwing up, but most of all, he feared losing Megan.

“So what does that big word mean, Dad?”

They were back to his illiteracy. Drawing a deep breath, he said, “It means I can’t read.” He held what little breath was left in his lungs, waiting for his son to burst out laughing, tease him or slink away in embarrassment

Andrew looked at his father thoughtfully. “Oh,” he said, then brightened marginally. “I could teach you to read.”

His son’s unconditional acceptance relieved him. “I’ll think about that”

Andrew’s support, combined with Megan’s, should have given him enough self-confidence to tackle the world. Yet he couldn’t stop the doubts and the memories of another woman’s rejection.

Megan was nothing like his first wife, his conscience argued. From the moment he’d met her she’d been nothing but giving and understanding, believing in him even though he gave her no reason to.

“I hope you guys make up real soon,” Andrew said, bringing Kane back to their conversation. “I want to see her smile and laugh again. And you, too, Dad.” Tears filled his eyes. “I don’t want you and Megan to be like how it is between you and Grandpa and Grandma Linden.”

Aw, hell. Lately, it seemed he’d caused the people in his life nothing but heartache and tears. Megan was right. He was selfish, thinking only of himself and not the needs of his family. He’d used his illiteracy as an excuse not to confront his past, he realized. He’d kept the rift between him and the Lindens fueled by keeping the truth buried beneath layers of resentment.

The school bus horn blared, and Andrew slid out of his seat, mumbled a goodbye to Kane and pushed out the back door. Kane let him go, unwilling to make his son promises he didn’t know if he could keep.

Sighing deeply, he cleared their dishes from the table, thinking about the woman who’d become his wife. A woman who’d wanted to be his wife. He hadn’t realized how empty and lonely he’d been until he met Megan, hadn’t known a woman’s love could be so good.

He loved her. There was no sense denying the warm, fuzzy emotion wrapped around his heart. And if he loved her, didn’t he owe it to her to do whatever it took to make their marriage work? To shelve his pride for her and give her the trust she’d worked so hard to earn?

His first marriage had ended tragically, and he couldn’t change that. But he had the ability to try to make amends with the Lindens and start fresh, not only for Andrew’s sake, but for the sake of his new marriage.

Because, ultimately, he wasn’t willing to risk losing the best thing that had ever happened to him and his son.

He’d been acting strange all morning.

Megan stole a sideways glance at Kane as they pulled out of Jeff and Karen’s driveway after dropping Andrew off to spend the night. She’d learned from Karen that Kane had made arrangements to pick Andrew up tomorrow, after they attended church services.

That left her alone with Kane for a good twenty-four hours.

Under normal circumstances she would have thoroughly enjoyed a day and night with her husband all to herself. But it wasn’t as if they were experiencing wedded bliss at the moment, the kind where you couldn’t keep your hands off each other and you spent every waking hour thinking of ways to be with the one you loved. No, their marriage had become one of convenience, and she hated it.

He hadn’t said two words to her since this morning, when he’d told her they were going out that afternoon. She had no idea where out was, and by the look of concentration on Kane’s face and his white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel as he drove through town, it wasn’t somewhere fun, exciting or romantic.

“Do you plan on telling me where we’re going?” she asked.

He never took his gaze off the road. “You’ll see when we get there.”

She sat back in her seat, stared out the passenger window and waited until Kane finally braked to a stop in front of the Lindens’ house.

She glanced from the two-story structure to Kane, feeling curious as well as cautious. He turned off the ignition, removed the key and took a deep breath that did nothing to ease the tight lines around his mouth and eyes.

“What are we doing here?” she asked quietly.

He met her gaze, and the vulnerability in the depths touched a tender chord in her. “I think it’s past time we all had a dignified conversation, don’t you?”

Hope swelled in her heart. “You already know how I feel about that.”

A crooked smile claimed his lips. “I guess I’m taking you up on your advice. Ready?”

She glanced at the house, wondering how the Lindens were going to react to this impromptu visit. “Are you sure you want me to go with you?”

Sincerity darkened his eyes. “I can’t do this without you by my side. You give me an incredible amount of courage.” He opened his door, but before he could slide out, she grabbed his arm. He looked at her. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong.” She dampened her bottom lip with her tongue. “I think what you’re about to do is important, for so many reasons, but…”

“Yes?” He frowned, emphasizing his sudden apprehension.

“Kane, I need to know, are you doing this for me?”

He reached out and gently brushed his knuckles across her cheek in a feather caress. His eyes glowed with a deep, abiding emotion she’d never seen before. “No, I’m doing it for me, so I can put the past to rest. And for us, so we can be a family.”

The heaviness weighing on her heart the past week lifted. No matter what happened here today, she knew they were going to make it together. Kane’s unselfish gesture was proof that he cared enough to make their marriage work.

She followed him up the walkway. After he rang the doorbell, she slid her hand into his, giving him whatever support she could, even if it was a physical connection of warmth and love. He stared at the door as if it were a portal into his past and he wanted no part of it. His palm was damp against hers, and he shifted anxiously as they waited.

“Are you nervous?” Stupid question, but she wanted to keep him talking so he didn’t freeze up when the door opened.