Jonathan Kellerman - When The Bough Breaks

Still, there were nights when I thought of that eleven - year - old and wondered if I'd be seeing his name in the papers one day.

I set the nine files aside.

Milo would have more of his work cut out for him.

Three days of the old wear - downtheshoe - leather routine had worn Milo down.

"The computer was a total bust," he lamented, flopping down on my leather sofa. "All of those bastards are either back in the joint, dead, or alibied. The coroner's report has no forensic magic for us. Just six and a half pages of gory details telling us what we knew the first time we saw the bodies: Handler and Gutierrez were hacked up like sausage filler."

I brought him a beer, which he drained in two long gulps. I brought him another.

"What about Handler? Anything on him?" I asked.

"Oh yeah, you were definitely right in your initial impression. The guy was no Mr. Ethical. But it doesn't lead anywhere."

"What do you mean?"

"Six years ago, when he was doing hospital consultations, there was a bit of a stink - insurance fraud. Handler and some others were running a little scam. They'd peek their heads in for a second, say hello to a patient, and bill it as a full visit, which I take it is supposed to be forty - five or fifty minutes long. Then they'd make a note in the chart, bill for another visit, talk to the nurse, another visit, talk to the doctor, etc." etc. It was big bucks - one guy could put in for thirty, forty visits a day, at seventy, eighty bucks a visit. Figure it out."

"No surprise. It's done all the time."

"I'm sure. Anyway, it blew wide open because one of the patients had a son who was a doctor, and he started to get suspicious, reading the chart, seeing all these psychiatric visits. Especially 'cause the old man had been unconscious for three months. He griped to the medical director, who called Handler and the others in on the carpet. They kept it quiet, on the condition that the crooked shrinks leave."

Six years ago. Just before Handler's notes had started to get slipshod and sarcastic. It must have been hard going from four hundred grand a year to a measly one hundred. And having to actually work for it. A man could get bitter…

"And you don't see an angle in that?"

"What? Revenge? From whom? It was insurance companies that were getting bilked. That's how they kept it going so long. They never billed the patients, just billed insurance." He took a swig of beer. "I've heard bad things about insurance companies, pal, but I can't see them sending around Jack the Ripper to avenge their honor."

"I see what you mean."

He got up and paced the room.

"This goddamn case sucks. It's been a week and I've got absolutely zilch. The captain sees it as a dead end. He's pulled Del off and left me with the whole stinking mess. Tough breaks for the faggot."

"Another beer?" I held one out to him.

"Yeah, goddammit, why not? Drown it all in suds." He wheeled around. "I tell you, Alex, I should have been a schoolteacher. Viet Nam left me with this big psychic hole, you know? All that death for nothing.

I thought becoming a cop would help me fill that hole, catch bad guys, make some sense out of it all. Jesus, was I wrong!"

He grabbed the Coors out of my hand, tilted it over his mouth, and let some of the foam dribble down his chin.

"The things that I see - the monstrous things that we supposed humans do to each other. The shit I've become inured to. Sometimes it makes me want to puke."

He drank silently for a few minutes.

"You're a goddamn good listener, Alex. All that training wasn't for naught."

"One good turn, my friend."

"Yeah, right. Now that you mention it, Hickle was another shitty case. I never convinced myself that was suicide. It stunk to high heaven."

"You never told me."

"What's to tell? I've no evidence. Just a gut feeling. I've got lots of gut feelings. Some of them gnaw at me and keep me up at night. To paraphrase Del, my gut feelings and ten cents."

He crushed the empty can between his thumb and forefinger, with the ease of someone pulverizing a gnat.

"Hickle stunk to high heaven, but I had no evidence. So I wrote it off. Like a bad debt. No one argued, no one gave a shit, just like no one'll give a shit when we write off Handler and the Gutierrez girl. Keep the records tidy, wrap it up, seal it, and kiss it goodbye."

Seven more beers, another half - hour of ranting and punishing himself, and he was stoned drunk. He crashed on the leather sofa, going down like a B - 52 with a bellyful of shrapnel.

I slipped his shoes off and placed them on the floor beside him. I was about just to leave him that way, when I realized it had turned dark.

I called his home number. A deep, rich male voice answered.

"Hello."

"Hello, this is Alex Delaware, Milo's friend."

"Yes?" Wariness.

"The psychologist."

"Yes. Milo's spoken of you. I'm Rick Silverman."

The doctor, the mother's dream, now had a name.

"I just called to let you know that Milo stopped by here after work to discuss a case and he got kind of - intoxicated."

"I see."

I felt an absurd urge to explain to the man at the other end that there was really nothing going on between Milo and me, that we were just good friends. I suppressed it.

"Actually, he got stoned. Had eleven beers. He's sleeping it off now. I just wanted you to know."

"That's very considerate of you," Silverman said, acidly.

"I'll wake him, if you'd like."

"No, that's quite all right. Milo's a big boy. He's free to do as he pleases. No need to check in."

I wanted to tell him, listen you insecure, spoiled brat, I just called to do you a favor, to set your mind at ease. Don't hand me any of your delicate indignation. Instead, I tried flattery.

"Okay, just thought I'd call you to let you know, Rick. I know how important you are to Milo, and I thought he'd want me to."

"Uh, thanks. I really appreciate it." Bingo. "Please excuse me. I've just come off a twenty - four - hour shift myself."

"No problem." I'd probably woken the poor devil. "Listen, how about if we get together some time - you and Milo and my girlfriend and myself?"

"I'd like that, Alex. Sure. Send the big slob home when he sobers up and we'll work out the details." "Will do. Good talking to you." "Likewise." He sighed. "Goodnight."

At nine thirty Milo awoke with a wretched look on his face. He started to moan, turning his head from side to side. I mixed tomato juice, a raw egg, black pepper, and Tabasco in a tall glass, propped him up and poured it down his throat. He gagged, sputtered, and opened his eyes suddenly, as if a bolt of lightning had zapped him in the taiibone.

Forty minutes later he looked every bit as wretched but he was painfully sober.

I got him to the door and stuck the files of the nine psychopaths under his arm.

"Bedtime reading, Milo."

He tripped down the stairs, swearing, made his way to the Fiat, groped at its door handle and threw himself in with a single lurching movement. With the aid of a rolling start, he got it ignited.

Alone at last, I got into bed, read the Times, watched TV - but damned if I could tell you what I saw, other than that it had lots of flat punch lines and jiggling boobs and cops who looked like male models. I enjoyed the solitude for a couple of hours, only pausing to think of murder and greed and twisted evil minds a few times before drifting off to sleep.

"All right," said Milo. We were sitting in an interrogation room at West L.A. Division. The walls were pea - green paint and one - way mirrors. A microphone hung from the ceiling. The furniture consisted of a gray metal table and three metal folding chairs. There was a stale odor of sweat and falsehood and fear in the air, the stink of diminished human dignity.