Ю Несбё - The Jealousy Man and Other Stories

‘An eye for an eye,’ said Gardell.

‘It’s a good law,’ I said.

And once she had left I got back into my car and looked at the gun.

I waited. Peering into the haze. Waited.

Then it came. A large black SUV, the same one I had seen driving away from the villa after the attack. Colin Lowe’s car.

Brad wept when I told him I was setting him free and that soon someone I hoped he loved would come and pick him up.

‘I don’t deserve it,’ he sniffled as the tears dripped down onto the mattress.

‘You’ve been here for a while now.’ Then I had to steel myself for what I said next: ‘And everyone deserves a second chance.’

‘You know what, Mr Adams? I’ve learned more from you in the short time I’ve been here than I did from my father during all of my upbringing.’ His mouth opened and closed before a sob came out. ‘I’m so sorry Amy’s dead. I know there’s nothing I can do for you, but...’

I laid a hand on his shoulder. ‘There is something you can do. Chung and Larsen moved out yesterday and I need a strong man to help me move the ammo back here.’

He gave me a puzzled look.

‘Heidi and I need somewhere in the basement to store food,’ I lied. ‘In here it’ll just attract rats through the sewage pipe, so I’m going to have to use this room for ammo.’

‘I’m ready.’

Brad didn’t even ask me why I didn’t simply block off the pipe but just got down to work carrying crate after crate of bullets, grenades, dynamite and petrol.

By the time we were finished we were both sweating and exhausted. Maybe there’s something in the idea that hard physical labour creates a bond between men. I offered him a beer but he declined, saying he knew beer was in short supply and asked if he could have some water instead. It made me recall something a forensic psychiatrist told me once, how people will often say they made a mistake and were taken in by a man who devoted all his spare time to helping the poor and then turned out to have been a serial child abuser. But, said the psychiatrist, they hadn’t made a mistake or been fooled. What was good in the man had really helped these people. It wasn’t done as a cover for the other things he was doing. It’s simply that people aren’t either all good or all bad. Not Brad, not his father, and not me.

Night descends over the Lowe building as the enormous, insect-like helicopter prepares to land with a deafening roar. We stand watching in silence as the air is whipped up and the hairstyles and ties and dresses whirl about us. A few drops of champagne from Colin’s glass sting my face like icy sleet and I taste the bitter sweetness in my open mouth.

And then the helicopter is down, the engine turned off and the rotor arms still spinning as the high-pitched whining gradually descends and decreases in volume and pitch.

Colin looks at me. Liza and Beth are standing by his side.

‘Final group, board now!’ shouts a voice from the helicopter door.

A dozen people swarm towards him.

Colin straightens his back, and I feel my eyes filling with tears.

The way they had done five days ago, when the Larsens and the Chungs took their few possessions and moved out. Larsen spent his money on a smallholding in the south, a place where they could grow their own food and be less affected by the collapse than in the cities. Chung had bought a fishing boat, and a lighthouse for his family to live in.

The way they had filled with tears when Brad left the villa four days earlier.

Why all these tears? Is it because what is inexorable, the certainty that there is no way back from here, always touches something deep in us? Whether it be farewells, or deaths, or just those ocean currents of time, happenings and life itself which separate us and pull us all apart from each other?

I hold out a hand to Colin.

‘Farewell,’ I say.

‘Thank you.’ Colin takes my hand and draws me close to him. ‘Thank you for letting my son go.’

‘Will!’ shouts Heidi. She’s standing by the helicopter door holding Sam by the hand. ‘Darling, come on.’

‘And thank you for letting me take over the villa,’ says Colin.

‘I’m the one who should be thanking you — for the tickets,’ I say. ‘It’s just a pity there aren’t enough for us all.’

‘It’s right that we should stay behind,’ says Colin. ‘I’m sure Brad will come back to us when he’s had time to sort himself out. I think the way you treated him has given him a lot to think about, Will. You’ve given all of us a lot to think about.’

‘Will, darling, they say they can’t wait any longer!’

‘I’m coming!’ I shout back as I look into the eyes of my childhood friend. When choice is free, and yet inexorable. That false sense of freedom, contra to what has already been decided. The choice the brain would always make, based on the sum of all the information and every inclination available at the moment when the time for action comes. The absolute inevitability of the fact that I will never see Colin again, hear his laughter, smell his smell, feel the warmth of his handshake or his embrace. Of course I might be wrong, I can hope I’m wrong. But in the depths of my soul I’m afraid I neither hope nor believe I will see him again. But my eyes are as full of tears as his.

As the helicopter rises from the roof and wheels round I look down at the three people standing there waving, then I turn to Sam who tugs at my arm from his seat between Heidi and me.

‘Where are we going, Dad?’

I point. ‘There.’

‘What’s there?’

‘West.’

‘What’s west?’

‘The future.’

‘What’s future?’

‘It’s what’s coming soon. Look...’ I hold my hand in the air above him, flutter it down like a butterfly and tickle the pit of his throat. ‘It’s here now!’ I shouted as he wriggles about, laughing away. ‘And now it’s over!’ I say and stop tickling him. Hold my hand over him again. ‘But there’s more to come,’ I say, and already he’s giggling in terrified anticipation. As I’m tickling him my eyes meet Heidi’s. They look dulled, but she’s smiling. Again I raise my hand.

‘And that was the end of that,’ I say without taking my gaze from hers. ‘But there’s more to come...’

I’d found a shady place out of the baking hot sun while I waited for Will Adams to release Brad Lowe. Finally I heard their voices on the other side of the wall. Relaxed, good-humoured. Christ, they sounded like two old chums.

‘So you’re the one who’s come to fetch me,’ said Brad as the gates to the villa closed behind him. ‘I thought he meant my father.’

For a few moments he just stood there looking at me and my bike.

‘You ran out on us that night,’ he said.

‘It was all over by then,’ I said. ‘Getting out of there was the only option.’

Brad thought it over. Nodded. ‘Sure. I would probably have done the same. So what happens now?’

‘That’s what we’re wondering.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘You’re the leader of Chaos. We’re wondering what plans you’ve got for us.’

Brad stared at me in surprise.

I nodded at the bike. ‘I’ll ride pillion because I’m thinking you’ll want to drive?’

Brad gave a big grin. He put his arm around my shoulder. ‘I knew I could trust you, Yvonne. You know, if you hadn’t been a carpet muncher I swear I would have had you for my girl. Where are we going?’

‘To the funfair,’ I said.

The reception had been a bit mixed when I told the gang I was off to fetch Brad and that from now on he was going to be leader. They were happy enough with me, they said, and couldn’t quite understand why I would voluntarily give up tall privileges such as the best bike and first choice of weapons, food, room and girls.