Эд Горман - Riders on the Storm

“So I called Cherie’s where Steve hangs out a lot to see if he was there. He was, so I drove out there. He didn’t want to have anything to do with me so I kept on knocking them down and finally I made it to my car somehow — it was practically parked in the woods — and I passed out. And when I woke up the parking lot was almost empty. I got out to take a leak — I was still pretty drunk — and that was when I saw Donovan on the ground. I was so wobbly I remember almost falling over him. Then somebody hit me from behind across the back of my head and it was maybe half an hour later before I came to.”

“Do you remember calling me from home earlier?”

“Yeah. I was having a really bad panic attack and I didn’t know what to do. I thought maybe you could help me. But as soon as I hung up I thought maybe the best thing to do would be to go out to Cherie’s and talk to Donovan. What a stupid idea that turned out to be. Man, I remember trying to drive home after I found the body. I was so terrified I couldn’t keep the car on the road. I even got so confused at one point I wondered if I really had killed him but couldn’t remember. It was like being in the psych hospital again. Days when I couldn’t think clearly. I pulled off the road to the place where the police found me. I know Foster still thinks I killed Donovan but I didn’t.”

“I know that, Will. And so does Karen.”

His cheeks tinged red suddenly. His eyes closed and he swayed forward, then checked himself. He had to clear his throat to speak. “I’m going to say something you won’t want to hear, Sam.”

I waited him out.

“I’ve given this a lot of thought. I know how much I owe Karen. And I don’t have to tell you how much I love our daughter. But the thing is—” He wrung his hands. His gaze fled to the window. “The thing is that I think I’ve had such a hard time adjusting after coming back home because the marriage isn’t right, Sam. And that’s not Karen’s fault and it’s not mine.”

I still said nothing.

A big dopey grin. “There’s this young woman I hired, Sam. And she’s been with me now for—”

Oh God. At least four married friends of mine had laid The List on me over the years. They wanted my approval, even permission in a strange way. I barely listened to Will’s List. I knew it by heart.

She’s just so much fun. My marriage hasn’t been fun like this in a long time.

She makes me feel younger. I even look younger when I’m shaving in the morning.

She has these ideas for my business. She’s my lover but she’s also like this brilliant thinker.

I know what it’ll be like for my little daughter — I know how selfish I’m being — but kids get over it eventually.

It’ll be tight for a while money-wise with the settlement and all — her fucking lawyer is an assassin — but I can ride that out, too.

And did I mention the sex? I swear to God I got it up three times the other night. I haven’t done that for years.

“I didn’t want it to happen. It’s just that April—”

“Her name is April?”

“What the hell, Sam. Is there something wrong with being called April? It’s a pretty name.”

“I was just surprised is all. April, I mean.”

“I know what you’re doing here.”

“Doing? What’re you talking about?”

“You’re taking Karen’s side. You’re making me the bad guy.”

“No, I’m not.” But I was. All Karen had done for him.

April.

“If you sat down and talked to her for a few minutes you’d see what a sharp girl she is. And you’d like her. And not just because she’s so pretty. She came up and saw me yesterday and I have this whole different mindset. Don’t I sound happy?”

He did. Given the fact that he was still the number one suspect in a homicide, he sounded ridiculously happy.

“Karen knows you had an affair with Cathy Vance. She found those letters you wrote her.”

“Yeah, I know. And I don’t blame her for being hurt.”

“That’s big of you.”

“Cut me some slack here, man. Look at all I’ve been through.”

He was feeling sorry for himself but he deserved to, the poor, suffering, aggravating bastard.

“What’s the point of writing all these letters and then not mailing them?”

A shrug. “Oh, you know, most of them are so sentimental they’re sort of embarrassing. But they made me feel better just writing them. I probably should’ve thrown them away.”

“So when does Karen get the news?”

“I’m not ready to tell her yet. This whole thing with Foster has to be cleared up. And then we have to wait a while because April has to tell her husband and she’s a little bit afraid.”

“You didn’t mention she was married.”

“This is pretty complicated. She’s not telling anybody about it and neither am I. Karen’s coming up in an hour and bringing a sandwich from Mike’s deli. It’s tempting to tell her but I won’t. I’m just so damned happy, Sam, I had to tell somebody. I got so caught up in the anti-war thing I just stayed drunk and fucked up my life totally. Now I have a special reason to get this Donovan thing over with.”

This Donovan thing. A small but annoying problem. Who hasn’t been accused of murder?

“I was thinking maybe you’d forgotten about that. What with April and all.”

“God, Sam, are you mocking me?”

“A little.”

We were silent for a time.

“We still friends, Sam?”

“Yeah, but you piss me off for Karen’s sake.”

“And you of all people don’t have any right to judge me. All the affairs you’ve been in and out of.”

“But I wasn’t married.”

He was quick.

“Sounds like that’s about to change.”

“Yeah, it is.”

“Great. You should’ve married Mary a long time ago. How about we both be happy for each other?”

Damn him. I cared about him and I’d stand by him no matter what. I hadn’t heard him this happy since he’d come back from Nam.

“Are you still sure Anders killed Donovan?” he asked.

“Yeah. But even after last night with the heroin, Foster still doesn’t think he had a motive to kill him.”

“Maybe he was afraid that Donovan was going to the feds.”

“That’s what I told him. But no sale.”

“We just need to figure this damned thing out.”

“Yeah, I guess ‘we’ do.”

“You’re mocking me again.”

I was. What he was about to do to Karen and Peggy Ann still pissed me off.

“Not really. I’m irritated with you and I’m irritated with me. I’m being a judgmental asshole and you’re not concerned enough with Foster. He still wants to put you in prison for life.”

From the door I said, “Will, you need to think back through the whole night. Concentrate on every single thing you can remember from the time you left your house to the time the police found you in your car. You said somebody knocked you out. Really focus on that. There may have been some little thing you’ve overlooked. You can be a big help to me.”

“I’m sorry, Sam. You’ve been working so hard for me. I really appreciate it. You know I do.”

I nodded. “Yeah; yeah, I do.”

O’Shay got his gimp.

I felt sorry for the kid, obviously. He appeared to be about fourteen years old, the Irish altar-boy type right down to his freckles and brief nose. They were on a platform so heavy with American flags I was surprised it didn’t crash to the ground. This was a nooner; employees at a steel plant in Cedar Rapids had been treated to free hot dogs and burgers and soft drinks over their lunch hour in exchange for putting up with twenty minutes of lies and patriotic treacle. Pure TV.