Don Bruns - Stuff to spy for

“No.” I panicked and grabbed it from his hand, tearing the receipt in the process. I glanced down and saw I’d managed to snag the part that said Spy Store and the price.

“This is highly irregular.”

“Irregular?” If he’d seen that receipt, he would really have thought it was irregular. “You’ve never worked for us before in your life. You’ve already pushed us back by two or three days because of your little ‘discovery’ that a third system was in the walls. And now you’re telling me how to run my operation?” I surprised myself as I got worked up. Pushing my index finger against the guy’s breastbone I continued. “You have no idea who we are or how we operate. All I’m asking is that you have someone install this smoke detector in office one. Is that clear?”

J.J. stared right through me.

I continued. “Because if it’s not clear, I can arrange to have you back at your apartment by the end of the day. Maybe you could spend the afternoon fixing your rear screen door.”

My neighbor gave me a frown, brow all wrinkled. “Jeez, Skip. I’m just trying to do my job.”

“So am I.” I was breathing fast and my heart rate was up. Just getting my cardio exercise. “Then I guess it’s clear.”

He nodded.

“Great.” I started to walk away, aware that Eden Callahan had observed the entire interaction. I was hoping she wouldn’t mention it to Feng. Or worse yet, mention it to Sandy Conroy.

“But I will mention this to Andy.” His back was to me. “This isn’t the way I’d run an installation if this was my account.” He shrugged and turned back to his ladder.

“Thank God it’s not your installation, J.J.” I caught myself. “Jim. Albert. Whatever your name is.”

“You’ll have it in that office before five. Is that soon enough?” He kept his back turned toward me, but his message was strong.

Eden was watching us, her eyes shifting back and forth.

“We thought it would be a good idea to make sure the president was protected against a fire.” I smiled at her and she just gave me a puzzled look, shrugging her shoulders.

“Okay.”

“Good idea, huh?”

She nodded and turned away. Maybe not the brightest girl. James liked them just slightly dense. Pretty, but dense.

“Thanks, Jim.”

He grumbled and worked his way up the ladder.

What the heck was Andy thinking putting this bozo in charge?

“I’ll talk to Andy tomorrow morning.”

“You do that, Jim. If you’re still working here.” I walked away, hoping I didn’t have to deal with the guy the rest of the afternoon.

I caught up with James in the hallway and told him that Jim Jobs’s temporary assignment had gone to his head.

“So J.J. is showing some attitude, pard. I wouldn’t worry. It’s still your show.” He just shrugged. “Might want to take it easy on him. After all, we do have to live next to him.”

James was taking charge again. Jim Jobs was taking charge. I needed to step up and deal with this. There should be only one person in charge. Me. And there was a lot of money riding on this project. Forget James, J.J., Wireman, Feng. This was my project and I was in charge of getting it done. I couldn’t, I wouldn’t, let anybody screw it up.

“So, what about the smoke detector?” James whispered the question.

“He promised to install it. Before five o’clock. Of course I had to threaten him. And he also promised to talk to Andy tomorrow about the proper way to supervise an installation.”

“Don’t let him get to you. Andy Wireman will do it your way, amigo. You told me you’ve worked with him before. I feel certain he’ll let you call the shots.”

James saluted me, as if that confirmed I was in charge, and walked away, carrying a box of connectors.

I needed a cigarette, but I’d given up smoking. I needed a beer, but couldn’t indulge myself for three more hours. I took about five deep breaths, felt dizzy for a moment, then decided to see how my project was progressing.

I walked into the room where all the offices were located. Number two was open, and Feng stood in the doorway, surveying the activity in the main room. He had his hand to his mouth and it appeared he was picking his teeth with something. When he observed me, he gave me a wry smile from across the way. I felt like waving, but I didn’t.

Three installers were on ladders, working up in the substructure of the ceiling. James walked over, handing them tools from below. It reminded me of a acene from Grey’s Anatomy where the nurse hands Dr. McDreamy his tools.

“Scalpel.”

“Yes doctor.”

“Clamp. Retractor.”

And all around them sat the silent men and woman at their computers, all wearing white lab coats like they were in an old James Bond movie where Ernst Blofeld had his minions in uniforms, working on a diabolical plot to capture the world. They pecked like chickens at their keyboards, never even looking up. James and I would have been playing games, poker and black jack, and checking on possible porn sites. I wasn’t sure that these people weren’t. It was just that they were supposed to be inventing something for the Department of Defense, and watching porn and playing black jack were never really that productive. At least in my experience.

An installer walked by me with a ladder and headed for office one. The door was shut. He knocked, then opened it. A moment later Sandler Conroy walked out, frowning. I could guess why. His workday was being interrupted so that our camera could be installed. I had a hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach and my heart jumped. I said a silent prayer that no one would ever find out what was inside that smoke detector.

Conroy spoke to Feng for a few seconds then turned and pointed at me. He walked over and looked me straight in the eyes. I froze. How he’d figured it out in this brief amount of time I had no idea.

“Mr. Conroy-”

Conroy’s rage was obvious. The red from his face broke through the tan, and I was afraid I was not only to be arrested, but possibly to be taken behind the building and beaten to death. He’d figured it all out.

“How much longer?”

I didn’t say anything, but the fear in my eyes had to give me away.

“I said how much longer?”

“How much longer what?”

He pointed to the installers.

“Do you mean how much longer will we be here? How much longer will it take to finish the installation?”

Conroy nodded.

I felt weak. Like you do after the first shot of whiskey at the end of a long day. You feel that sense of release.

“Well, sir, we had a shipment problem. I would expect the motion detectors and the alarms to be here tomorrow, and I-”

“How much longer?”

“As I said, it all depends on-”

“Young man, I asked you a question.”

“Two more days?” I’d learned in school that you can’t answer a question with a question, but I tried.

“Get it done.” He spun on his heel and walked out of the room.

“D oes he always lock the office?”

I’d been watching. Sometimes he did, sometimes he didn’t. But regardless, Feng the oppressor was hanging out almost all the time. So just waltzing in to retrieve the card would be under Feng’s watchful eye. Well, so was the UPS truck. Under Feng’s watchful eye.

“You know, pal, we can’t ask one of J.J.’s henchmen to go in and retrieve that chip.”

“We knew that going in. It was part of the problem. You thought the smoke alarm was a good idea, James.” We knew it would be a problem. And I didn’t like the installation crew referred to as J.J.’s henchmen.

I studied the door to office one. Conroy had gone in and the door had been closed for probably over two hours. If he was on the phone, we might have something. But one of us had to retrieve it.