Alan Cook - Honeymoon for Three

Gary fired up the Coleman stove he and Penny had purchased by pooling their Blue Chip Stamps and pondered how his life had changed so much in four short months. Well, okay, six months. Although it was just four months since Penny and he had met each other face to face. But for two months before that they had corresponded anonymously, through Human Inventory. He was Adam plus a number, and she was Eve.

Their letters covered a lot of territory, and by the time they went on their first date to the San Diego Zoo, they knew each other better than many couples do after months-or years-or forever. Gary wondered what would have happened if one or both of them hadn’t been truthful in the letters. They would certainly have found out on that marathon first date which had lasted twelve hours. It would have been two months down the drain, but then, life was a risky business.

Fortunately, they had been truthful, and they were still being truthful with each other. Although, Penny hadn’t told him about the notes and phone calls she had received until the night before last. However, he trusted her, and she trusted him.

Since their families were both on the east coast, if they were going to get married at all it was easier to do it this way than try to coordinate from long distance. He had mentioned the possibility of marriage to his mother on the phone a few weeks ago. She had immediately started naming the dates they weren’t available, including right now. They were in Europe on an extended vacation.

He put a pot of water on the stove to heat for cocoa, and a frying pan for eggs. He was happier than he’d ever been.

Alfred didn’t know whether it was the sunlight or the cold or the noises of other campers that woke him, but as soon as he opened his eyes, he was startled enough to take a quick look at his watch. Almost nine o’clock. Panic. What if the birds had flown?

Actually, he didn’t notice the cold until he moved, but when he tried to get up, he realized just how stiff his body was. Frozen stiff. Last night, after he had returned to the car, he had run the engine with the heater on high until the interior heated up, not caring how the noise affected the people in the adjoining campsites.

That warmth had allowed him to go to sleep. It had long since dissipated. When he made it to a sitting position, he considered what to do first. Based on yesterday’s experience, that was obvious. He walked to the nearby restroom, trying to ignore tempting odors of food and drink wafting from nearby campsites. He had nothing to eat with him, except the remains of a bag of peanuts.

Since Penny’s campsite was on the other side of the campground, there was no chance of running into her or Gary. He washed his hands and face in the icy tap water, wet his hair, and ran his fingers through it. He took handfuls of water and reached up under his clothes to wash his armpits, in lieu of using deodorant. The cold shocked his body into full wakefulness.

Then, ignoring the inquisitive looks of a couple of other men who had the unkempt and slightly soiled appearance that campers always had, he placed his mouth under a faucet and drank as much water as he could consume. He could picture all manner of stuff dissolved in the metallic-tasting liquid, but it might be the only breakfast he would get.

Alfred returned to his car, walking among the tall pine trees and inhaling their fragrance. It reminded him of a trip his family had taken to the White Mountains of New Hampshire when he was a boy. Some of the sun’s rays found their way through the foliage, descending to the earth in parallel lines. They were heating up the air. The campground was alive with activity. Children ran about, and adults drank coffee at their picnic tables. His hunger pangs returned. He must stop thinking about eating.

He was faced with immediate decisions. Should he drive to their campsite and risk having them notice his car, or should he walk? He was quite sure he could walk the distance in five minutes by daylight, now that he could see where he was going. That also meant five minutes getting back to his car when they left.

Neither alternative was appealing. He drove to the entrance, instead. Once there, he parked his car near the office where several other vehicles sat, keeping his eyes glued to the rearview mirror. After a few minutes he remembered that he had seen some snack food for sale in the office last night.

He got out of the car and covered the few feet to the door of the office at a trot. Once inside, he glanced out of the window every few seconds as he picked out several bags of chips and nuts and paid for them. Back in the car, he opened a bag of chips and started to munch on them. With his other hand, he opened the glove compartment and pulled out a map.

Alternately looking at the mirror and the map, he ate with one hand and used the other hand to hold the map as he tried to figure out where they might be headed. The minutes dragged by, and no VW appeared. Why was he so sure they were still in the campground? A map of the campsites was posted in front of the office. He had at least been smart enough to note the number of their campsite last night. He got out of the car and found the number on the map. It was close to the entrance.

He walked along the side of the narrow campground road, keeping out of the way of the vehicles of families who were departing to explore exotic Lake Tahoe, or gamble in the Nevada casinos. He spotted the green car through the trees. No need to go any closer. He saw Penny as she walked around the car, and his heart gave a bound. She was dressed in shorts and a sweatshirt. She and Gary were packing up. Their tent had disappeared. Only a stove remained on the table. They were about to leave.

Alfred scurried back to his car. Within five minutes the VW appeared in his rearview mirror. He started his car as the other one rolled by. It paused at the campground entrance and then turned onto Route 50.

Route 50 went north along the east side of Lake Tahoe, into Nevada, and east through a mountain pass to 395. If they continued north on 395, they would come to-Reno. An awful thought occurred to Alfred, not for the first time. They might be going to get married. But all he could do right now was to keep them in sight.

“ Well, here we are in Reno.” Gary drove the car slowly along Virginia Street. “What do we do now?”

“ Uh, find a place to get married.”

“Shall we stop at a phone booth and look in the yellow pages?”

“That won’t be necessary. Look.”

Gary followed Penny’s pointing finger and saw the freshly painted white building to their right. A sign on it read “Park Wedding Chapel.” A red neon sign that said “Weddings” emphasized its purpose. A fake spire at the top of the building enclosed another neon sign with the outline of a bell.

Gary parked on a short street in front of the chapel. Penny remembered to take her sweatshirt off before she got out of the car. Gary put a few coins in the parking meter, and they walked hand in hand up four steps and through the front door of the chapel. They entered a small room with red, patterned wallpaper on the lower part of the walls. The carpet was also red. The rest of the room was painted white, including a number of doors.

The smiling receptionist sat behind a counter. Her hair and clothes were as immaculate as her surroundings. She told them that they could get married as soon as they obtained a marriage license.

“ The courthouse is closed for lunch. It opens again at one o’clock. It’s right across the street. I suggest that you wait by the entrance so that you’ll be able to get your license when it reopens. Then you can come back here and get married.”

“Just like that,” Gary said. Events were moving very rapidly.