Allan Guthrie - Killing Mum

Maybe there was a gas leak.

Maybe it was the petrol.

His brain was going to rip apart.

Fuck it. There was nothing to worry about.

Forget it. Go to sleep. Listen to the girls snoring.

Forget about the fact you still don't know who wanted your mother dead.

It was Jordan. Had to be. He'd quoted the letter, almost verbatim. Called him Charlie, taunting him. Carlos was as sure as he could be.

But he didn't know for sure and it made him think. Made him worry about what it might mean if it hadn't been Jordan, or Maggie, or his mother. He wasn't accustomed to worrying.

Anxiety. Was that it? Was he having an anxiety attack? Maybe he should get out of bed, turn on the computer. Look it up, see if the symptoms were-no. That wasn't it. He hadn't experienced any shortness of breath, no pain in the chest. He hadn't felt faint.

He'd just felt… different. Like he was dreaming, even though he knew he was awake. He dreamed he'd shot Jordan. He dreamed he'd burned his hand. He had burned it. The dream was so vivid it made it happen in the real world. Maybe Jordan was dead too.

Carlos got out of bed and walked through to the en-suite and threw up in the sink. This time he didn't hold it back.

He must have gone back to bed and fallen asleep because he was jolted awake by a scream. He fumbled around for the light, scrambled out of bed, flung on a dressing gown, opened the door. The babysitter was standing in the doorway of the spare bedroom.

" Is problemo? " Carlos said.

She stood there, her head jiggling and her teeth chattering.

"What?" he said, after a bit.

"On the bed," she said, pointing.

Carlos sighed, padded over to her, peered inside the room. His mother was lying there, fully clothed, sprawled out, on top of the quilt. She didn't look cold or anything, just a little unladylike. "Let her sleep," he said. "She's tired."

"But…" the girl said. "But she's…"

"How much do I owe you?" Carlos said.

"Where's Maggie?"

"She's still asleep."

"Maggie," the girl said, quietly. Then when Maggie didn't appear, she shouted her name.

"How much?" Carlos said.

"I'm getting the fuck out of here." She sprinted for the door, not even bothering to put her shoes on.

Carlos watched her go. Then he went through to the kitchen to get Sofia's feed ready. He'd let Maggie sleep on a bit. It was still early and she'd be tired too. It had been a long night for everyone.