Peter Rabe - The Box

“Ah,” said Remal, and bowed. “Our strange traveler,” and he offered his hand like a European.

When they got to the dark corner Whitfield said, “This is he, Beatrice, this is Quinn, and you’ll probably be disappointed.”

Quinn saw a fine-shaped woman who looked up and shrugged, but she smiled with it. “What he means,” she said to Quinn, “is that he thinks I expected something non-human.”

“I didn’t mean anything of the sort,” said Whitfield and sat down at the table. “You were wishing for something non-human. I think I’ll have…”

“I know what you’ll have,” said Remal and clapped his hands. “And you, Mister Quinn?”

“Pardon?”

Still feeble-minded, thought Whitfield, and confused, thought Beatrice, and Remal reserved judgment while he kept smiling at Quinn. The smile meant, I’m watching you but you can’t see me.

“What would you like to drink?” Remal asked.

“Scotch. And water.”

“I don’t suggest water,” said Remal. “Try Vichy.”

“All right,” said Quinn. He did not care.

“Don’t you want ice?” said Whitfield.

“Of course.”

“Then you have to ask for it, Quinn.”

“Maybe Mister Quinn hasn’t traveled much,” said Beatrice. “I mean, not counting your last trip.”

“That trip didn’t count, educationally,” said Whitfield.

Quinn did not think of his trip, because to him there had been no trip. There had been the box. He thought of the box and had no idea if it counted or not. Altogether, his recollection was vague, or perhaps of no interest, the way a meal eaten, a cigarette smoked, an argument finished, an arrival completed, of no interest any more.

When the drinks came there were only two-one for Quinn and the other for Whitfield. The woman, Beatrice, still had her own, and Remal was no longer at the table. And then Whitfield took a long gulp from his gin, which was cloudy with lemon juice, got up and said that he would be right back.

“Are you staring, sleeping, or thinking?” said the woman to Quinn.

“Uh, I’m sorry. None of those things,” and Quinn picked up his drink.

“But you were looking at me.”

“Oh yes. I was looking. Just that.”

She did not entirely understand that, but it was all Quinn had been doing. He saw that she was probably European: she had honey-colored hair, and she wore something short-sleeved and white, a cold white next to her skin which looked warm with tan. He looked down the row of little blue buttons on her front-how they ran down her round curve in front, tucked out of sight under her breasts, went straight down to her belt where the buttons ended.

“I feel touched,” she said.

He did not know why and had nothing to answer.

“I meant by your look. By your looking just now.”

“Oh. I wasn’t thinking anything.”

“I know you weren’t.”

She sipped her drink and looked beyond him. Quinn could see her neck, a nice round neck which showed a soft beat, a soft shadow which came and went to one side where her dress collar started. Then she sighed and looked back at him and smiled. Suddenly she seems very slow, thought Quinn. Like a cat in the sun.

“Mister Quinn,” she said, “are you always speechless like this?”

“I’m not speechless. I can talk.”

“Then talk to me a little.”

“Are you with this Turk?”

“With what? You mean Rental? He’s not a Turk,” and she had to laugh.

“Are you with him?”

She smiled and looked at him, as if she did not mind being asked such a question, or answering it, though she did not answer it.

“I meant something else when I asked you to talk. I wanted to hear about you.”

“You know about me.”

“Do you mind talking about it? I’m very curious, I’m really curious about you inside that box.”

“I don’t mind talking about it but I don’t know what to say.”

He meant that, she thought, and picked up her glass to take a slow sip. Quinn said nothing else. He looked out of the window where he could see a small slice of sea between the walls of two houses. This is just about like starting up from the bottom, he thought. When nothing happens it doesn’t matter, but sitting here it isn’t so easy. He felt annoyed and suddenly the light outside the window hurt his eyes. He thought that was the reason why he was annoyed. He looked briefly at the arch behind his back and then humped over the table and looked at his hands.

“They’ll be right back,” she said.

“Oh.” And then he said, “I asked you about you and-what’s his name?”

“Remal, the Turk.”

“I asked you about you and Remal before but I didn’t mean do you go to bed with him.”

“Oh? Why not?”

Then he knew why he felt annoyed. The two men’s sudden departure felt like something secret. Something I can’t deal with, he felt, something shut instead of open. And this was his first moment, since waking up in Okar, that he thought there must be some habits, old and dim right now, something to make all this newness less hard.

She saw that he had changed just a little, that he said just a little bit less than he thought.

“What I really wanted to know, I wanted to know why you’re sitting here at this table.”

“I wanted to see you.”

“I’m no zoo.”

“And I brought my car. You’re going to use it going to Tripoli.”

“Oh.”

She waited a moment but Quinn said nothing else. He thought, Whitfield is a friend of this Remal, and she is a friend of this Remal. Everybody is a friend of this Remal. He has no enemies.

“Just a friendly gesture,” she said. “Mine is the only good car in town, aside from Whitfield’s two trucks. You wouldn’t care to ride in one of those, on these roads. Quinn, you’re staring again.”

“I’m sorry.”

She shrugged and smiled. “What did you see?”

“I like your tan.”

She did not answer anything but closed her eyes for a moment and kept smiling. She sat still like that as if feeling her own skin all over. Now she also has a face like a cat, thought Quinn. I can see her lie in the sun like a cat, the way they lie and you want to touch them. And the cat face, very quiet and content, with cat distance.

“You know,” she said, and opened her eyes, “I like to be looked at.”

Quinn finished his Scotch, put the glass down, and felt light-headed.

“In that case,” he said, “you, looking the way you do, should have a good time of it all day long.”

She laughed, because a laugh was now expected. This is the first time, she thought, that I’ve heard him say something flip. Maybe that’s how he used to be.

“Clever of you to say that,” she told him, “but you’re forgetting this is Okar.”

“You must have picked it, and not because of being broke or anything like that.”

“What made you say that?”

“You told me you got the only good car in town.”

“Oh.” She wondered whether he was being flip again. Then she said, “Yes. I’ve got enough. I’ve been married enough.”

“Often enough or long enough?”

“Often enough.”

Quinn looked the length of the hall again and wished he were leaving. He would have to leave anyway and Okar meant nothing to him.

“With your dough,” he said, “why sit here? Why not Rome, Madrid, Paris? That kind of thing.”

“Why here?” She had her hands on the table and looked at the backs of her hands and then turned them around and looked at her palms. “I don’t know why. Confusion. I came the way you came. In a box. What do you know when you come in a box?”

“Nothing.”

This stopped the conversation so abruptly that Beatrice felt she had to do something immediately.