Andrew Price - Without A Hitch

Alvarez won the toss. “Good. This way.”

“Oh look, there’s a CVS on the way. We can stop and get your valium refilled.”

“Keep it up and we’ll be stopping for bandages.”

Corbin picked up the telephone. It was time to call Beckett’s house. By pure chance, Beckett’s wife was at a parent-teacher conference right now, so Corbin wouldn’t need to pretend to be a solicitor. Instead, he could let the answering machine record silence. Corbin entered the number from Beckett’s phone card and then Beckett’s home phone number. The machine answered. Corbin placed the receiver on mute and waited until the line disconnected. As far as the phone company records were concerned, Beckett just made his daily call home.

Of all the bank managers Alvarez encountered, he liked none less than this one. This guy was a jerk. He checked and double checked everything, he made photocopies and more photocopies, and he made snide comments throughout. At first, he seemed decent enough, until he learned Alvarez was only depositing $100. From that moment on, the man delighted in taking shots at him. Alvarez even tried to soften him up by suggesting he would deposit a large sum in the coming week, but this just increased the man’s animosity.

“I see” — the man dismissed everything Alvarez said with the phrase “I see” — “We do get a large number of Penn kids in here who have their parents send them money from overseas.”

“It’s my money, not my parents’.”

“I see. Will you be needing checks?”

“Yes, I’d like checks.”

“You do know there is a fee for those checks?” the man added drolly.

Alvarez clenched his fists. “Yes, I understand that,” he said with open hostility.

The man ignored Alvarez’s hostility and continued with his snide tone. “You do realize you can’t write checks for more than you have in the account, correct?”

“I know that too. I’ve had bank accounts before.”

“I see.”

“This is making me very angry, Alex,” the gray-haired woman said to Corbin.

“I’m sorry to hear that, Patricia.”

“I asked you to call me when Evan returned to his desk.”

“And I’ve done that three times now.”

“He’s never been here when I arrived.”

“I can’t help that. I’m not a warden. I don’t control his movements. I notified you as ordered.”

“Alex, it’s important I get this done,” the old woman said sternly. “I want you to find out where he’s at and let me know. I’ll go there and get the file directly from him.”

“I don’t know where he’s at, Pat, and frankly, it’s not my job. If you want to find him, send out your little minions and let them hunt him down.”

As Beckett sat on the park bench, watching the bank, a large number of grade-school children began pouring around the corner and gathering at the bank’s entrance. “What the heck?” Soon a woman appeared. She looked like a teacher. Then another woman appeared, possibly a second teacher. When the flow of children finally stopped, Beckett estimated the herd at fifty head. The two women lined the children up into rows of ten and started them into the bank. “He’s gonna love this.”

Corbin politely informed the well-wisher, the fifth in the last twenty minutes, that he had just missed Beckett. Corbin told the same thing to each of the other well-wishers as well. This one, however, hung on longer than most.

“I thought he might be here. I just got an e-mail from him,” the man in the gray striped suit and ugly orange tie repeated. For being nowhere near his desk all day, “Beckett” sent out a large number of e-mails throughout the day.

“I’ll tell him you dropped by,” Corbin reassured the man, sneaking a peek at his brown shoes and white socks, beneath his too-short suit pants.

“Thank you, Alex. How are you doing? Have you met your new officemate yet?”

“No, I haven’t.”

“He’s a fine fellow. You two should get along quite nicely.”

“So I’ve heard.”

As the well-wisher finally drifted off down the hallway, Molly replaced him at the door. She spent more time in Corbin’s office today than in her own. This time, she stirred a coffee cup.

“Hmmm, coffee. Where is your lazy roommate?”

“Beats me.”

“You can’t cover for him forever.”

“I’m not covering. He’s here somewhere.”

“Uh huh,” Molly said. “You’re going to get caught, it’s just a matter of time.”

“Good thing he gave me a suicide pill before he snuck out then, isn’t it,” Corbin said facetiously.

“Sure, laugh it off, but people are starting to notice.”

Corbin put his hand to his cheek and mustered his best “deeply concerned” tone. “Really? People besides you?”

“I wouldn’t want to say.”

“Your concern is touching,” Corbin said returning to his normal voice. “Why are you so paranoid about this?”

“I’m not paranoid. I’m observant.”

“That’s what all the crazies say.”

“You’ll have to produce him at some point. That’s when this game of yours ends.”

“Maybe I can find a double?” Corbin laughed.

“Laugh all you want, but time is running out.”

“What happened?” Beckett asked, noting Alvarez’s shell-shocked appearance.

“If this was the first bank, I would have quit right there.”

“Fortunately, this was the last bank. What happened?”

“I was dealing with the manager, a royal cocksucker,” Alvarez said distantly. “I don’t know what his problem was, but he gave me grief about everything. He asked so many questions, I thought he was gonna jam a flashlight up my ass. I’ll tell you one thing, Corbin did a hell of a job with those fakes. Even his lease was perfect. This guy actually read the damn thing!”

“As I said earlier, Corbin is a talented criminal. Get back to the story.”

“Just as I thought I’d finally gotten everything resolved, he hands me the forms and I start zipping through them. Suddenly, all hell breaks loose. You know how when it starts raining, you see one rain drop, then another, and then two, and then a dozen, and suddenly you’re in a deluge? Same shit here. First, one kid, then two, then four, then a deluge: wave after wave of kids pouring through the door. They were everywhere, behind every counter, in front of every teller, blocking every exit. Dozens of little eyes stared at me as I filled out the forms. It was the most surreal thing I’ve ever experienced. Apparently, it was some sort of school field trip.”

“They’re just kids.”

“Yeah well, with the bank manager’s accusing stares, they seemed more like his own personal army of winged monkeys, watching me. . staring at me.”

Beckett looked at his watch. “Come on Dorothy, time to get back to Kansas.”

Molly walked straight into Corbin’s office without knocking and sat down at Beckett’s desk. She scanned the desk for signs that Beckett had been there recently. Watching her examine Beckett’s coffee cup, Corbin congratulated himself for emptying half its contents only moments before.

“This is getting old. Where is he?!”

“Around.”

“No, he isn’t. You two are up to something.” Molly picked up the coffee cup to see if it was still warm.

“No, we’re not, Molly.”

“I know you are. Your little friend hasn’t been in here all day.” Molly flipped through the papers on Beckett’s desk.

“Yes, he has.”

“Hello! I’m in the office next door. I would know.”

Corbin shrugged his shoulders. “What do you want me to tell you?”

“How about the truth?”

“You won’t like the truth.”

Molly spun around. “Let’s hear it!” she demanded.

“The truth is he’s been in and out all day. Every time his rear hits the chair, someone calls him or e-mails him, and he takes off. The only break he’s had, that I know of, came when we went to lunch.”