Andrew Price - Without A Hitch

“This is nonsense. What an awful speech. I wonder how much longer this is going to last?” Corbin asked as he checked his watch.

Finally, let me address the issue of staffing.

“Here it comes, get your waders on.”

Our office is dangerously understaffed. We are so understaffed that our mission is being imperiled and a significant backlog of work is developing. This may cause our service to suffer. Unfortunately, we cannot correct that situation alone. We need each of you, who recognizes the importance of what we do, to contact your representatives and demand increased support for our office.

Beckett looked around the room. “Do you think anybody’s buying this?” He no longer bothered to whisper.

“Who knows, some people will believe anything.” Corbin stopped whispering as well.

It is a large backlog and will require significant man hours to overcome.

Beckett whispered to Corbin. “I had another thought about the duffel bag.”

“This isn’t the best place to discuss that,” Corbin said, nodding his head toward Molly.

“She can’t hear me.”

“Let’s not test it.”

Again, notwithstanding the criticism leveled, our actual experience is quite different.

Molly rolled her eyes. “I wish he’d stop saying ‘notwithstanding!’” Suddenly the room erupted in applause, which dissipated almost instantly, as people began streaming toward the reception area at the back of the room. “‘bout flippin’ time,” Molly said, as she grabbed her purse. “You boys staying for the reception?”

“Not on a bet.”

“Good, who wants to buy me lunch?”

The following morning, Kak sent out an e-mail praising Wilson’s speech. Kak called the speech “brilliant and visionary,” causing much hilarity in Corbin and Beckett’s office. Kak did not acknowledge Theresa’s assistance. Around noon, Corbin paid Theresa a visit.

“Nice speech, very subtle.”

“I figured you’d get it.” Theresa smiled.

“Oh, I think we all got it, except for Kak and Wilson that is.”

“Do you know that bastard didn’t even give me credit for writing the thing?” Theresa complained.

“Did you want credit?”

“Absolutely not.”

Corbin leaned against a large filing cabinet. “On this thing with Molly. . I wouldn’t worry too much about what Molly says. Nobody really listens to her.”

“I’d rather not talk about it.”

“All right. Beckett and I are going to lunch, if you want to tag along.”

“No. Thank you, though. I’ve got something I need to finish. Maybe tomorrow?” she said, but without sincerity.

“Sure. Catch you later then.”

Corbin turned to leave. However, as he put his hand on the doorknob, Theresa spoke: “Tell me you don’t like her?”

“Who?”

“Molly. Tell me you aren’t interested in her?”

Corbin didn’t expect this. “Come again?”

“I have no illusion that you and I will ever. . but as a friend. . she’s bad news. She enjoys tearing people down. Be careful with her,” Theresa said quietly. She rose and looked out her window. “That’s all I wanted to say.”

“I have no interest in her,” he responded.

With two days to go, Corbin and Beckett spent the morning going over a map of downtown Philadelphia. Corbin marked each mailbox store and bank on the map. Together, they plotted the route Beckett and Alvarez would take. After finishing with the map, Corbin reached into his briefcase and produced a clear plastic bag containing a wallet and some papers. This was one of the packets which would be inside the duffel bag.

“Each plastic bag has a name on it and a colored dot.”

“Colored dot, check,” Beckett said, nodding his head.

“The dot is very important because it lets you match the right phones with the right addresses and the right wallets. Each wallet contains a drivers license, a social security card, and $220 in cash.”

“That’s a lot of cash between all those packets.”

“It takes money to make money.”

Beckett again nodded his agreement.

“Each packet contains a wallet, a fake lease and a fake utility bill,” Corbin continued. “When you buy a cell phone, put a colored sticker on the back and write the phone number on the sticker. From that moment on, that phone will go with any packet bearing the same colored dot.”

“Got it.”

“Same thing with the mailboxes. When you open a box, put a colored sticker on the back of the paperwork. Use this chart to decide which color dot to use for each mailbox.” Corbin handed Beckett a piece of paper the size of a playing card. “You need to follow that chart so the street addresses on the leases and the utility bills match the street addresses of the mailboxes. I need that to organize the accounts. Once you have the right color dot on the paperwork, go through each packet with the same colored dot and handwrite the mailbox number on the lease.” Corbin handed Beckett the fake lease from the packet.

Beckett verified where the box number would be added.

Corbin handed him the wallet. “We got a bunch of these at dollar stores. They’re all a little different, but they all have what we need. Before Nobody goes into a bank, give him the lease and the utility bill from the packet. He’ll put those into his pocket. Then open the wallet and re-confirm the contents: license, social and $220.” Corbin waited for Beckett to open the wallet and confirm the contents. “Hand him the wallet. Grab the cell phone with the same colored sticker as the plastic bag. Hand him that as well.”

“Ok.”

“When he returns, take the bank paperwork, the lease, the utility bill, and the wallet and return them to the same plastic bag. Seal the plastic bag and return it to the duffel bag. Put the phone back into the phone bag. Then move on to the next bank and repeat.”

“I can see why you didn’t want Nobody worrying about this at the same time he’s going into the banks.”

“Don’t worry, it’s a lot easier than it sounds. Just follow the color coding and you can’t go wrong. We did a practice run last week and it turned out to be really simple. The key to everything is to make sure you only work with one bag at a time. Never open a bag until all the other bags are closed.”

“Got it.”

“That’s all there is,” Corbin said.

“One more thing. How do I recognize Nobody when I see him?”

“How about a password?”

Beckett looked stunned. “I am not walking around a train station asking people if they use polar bear shit to fertilize their lawns.”

“Darn, there goes plan A.”

Beckett stared at Corbin, trying to determine if he was serious.

Suddenly, Corbin burst into laughter. “I’m just kidding. I bought train tickets for both of you. You’ll be sitting directly across from each other.”

That night Corbin sat in the middle of his floor surrounded by wallets, colored stickers, plastic bags, and stacks of twenty dollar bills. His phone rang. He knew it was Alvarez because Alvarez called every night this week.

“Vez.”

“How’s it going?”

“Almost done with the packets.” Corbin counted out another eleven twenties.

“How’s Beckett?”

“He’s nervous, but seems ok. What about you?”

“Good enough, but I want to get this going. I hate waiting.”

“One more day,” Corbin said, as he stuffed the twenties into a brown leather wallet.

“You figured out yet what you’re going to do with your share?”

Corbin set the wallet down and scratched his chin. “No, not really. I figure something will come to me.”

Alvarez laughed. “If you decide you don’t want it, your old friend Alvarez will be more than happy to take it off your hands.”