Stuart Kaminsky - Never Cross A Vampire

He sighed. That was the friendliest he could be to me. I responded by making no bad jokes. The war had brought us to a truce. I had even lost the chance to give my running rub of asking about his wife Ruth and the kids. I lost it by actually visiting them on December 7 and doing a rotten job of hiding the soft touch I was for his new baby, Lucy, who reduced me to stupid grins. Phil was almost fifty, too old for kids, like Lugosi, but since I didn’t have any, I kept my mouth shut.

Phil wasn’t too great at dealing with adults. His impulse was usually to use his fists. I had learned that as a kid and bore the nose to prove it. As a cop he had grown no more mellow. Crime was personal with him. Criminals ate into his free time, committed crimes just to make his life difficult, murdered, raped, and went on rampages just to keep him angry and busy. Being a cop wasn’t just a job for Phil; it was a vendetta, a vendetta he could never win. There were a lot more of them than there were of him, and he usually associated me with the criminals, with working for potential and accused criminals. Even if my clients proved to be innocent part of the time, according to Phil it wasn’t worth the effort.

“You’re working the Faulkner case?” he asked, looking back at his file.

“Right,” I said.

“There’s no case to work,” he said, standing up and loosening his already loose tie. He tapped the thin file on the desk. “He did it. Two eyewitnesses, the victim’s wife and the victim himself before he died.”

“William Faulkner murdered someone?” “I just said that,” continued Phil, looking at me with growing impatience.

“Do you know who he is?” I asked.

Phil’s face turned red, starting at his neck and going up.

“I’m busy, but I’m not illiterate,” he said. “I don’t give a crap and a holler if he’s the pope.” Phil pointed at me. “He did in a citizen and he’s going up for it. Leib can pull his strings downtown, and you can pull your tricks, and this whole thing can stay tight for a few days, but it’s going to blow and he is going over.”

The rage that festered beneath Phil’s uncalm exterior sometimes boiled into the air and threatened the closest person, who was frequently me.

“Hold it, Phil,” I said soothingly. “I’m just doing a job.”

“Read the report,” he said with a grunt, “but don’t sit behind my desk. I’m going out for a coffee. Cawelti will bring Faulkner up here.”

“Thanks,” I said to the closing door. It had been the most civil conversation I had had with my brother in years.

I picked up the file and pulled the report. The file had a few statements by witnesses and the coroner and a report by the detective in charge, Cawelti. I sat in the chair opposite Phil’s desk and started to put my feet up, then remembered what had happened the last time Phil had caught me with my feet on his desk. I almost wound up two inches shorter, which I could ill afford. The report was good and Faulkner was surely in trouble.

“Report-Detective Officer John Cawelti, Wilshire.

“At 9:20 p.m. on January 3, 1942 I was called to 3443 Benedict Canyon in Beverly Hills. I arrived just after the ambulance. Doctor, Bengt Lidstrom of County, said victim, Jacques Shatzkin of that address, was dead. Three bullets in chest. Officer Steven Bowles was on site and said he had been called. Bowles (report attached) arrived before Shatzkin died. Shatzkin identified William Faulkner, writer, as his assailant. Camile Shatzkin, deceased’s wife, also identified Faulkner. Jacques Shatzkin’s identification was positive. Shatzkin was author’s representative and had met previously with Faulkner. Faulkner had been invited for dinner to talk business. He arrived late, according to deceased and his widow, fired point-blank at Shatzkin, and then left. Though victim was unable to do more than identify assailant, the wife said that she knew of no quarrel between the two, though husband had described Faulkner as moody during their one lunch meeting. Faulkner was picked up at the Hollywood Hotel at 10:10 p.m. He denied knowledge of Shatzkin murder or dinner invitation and was singularly uncooperative. He admitted having had lunch with Shatzkin two days earlier (Wednesday). Check with Shatzkin’s office confirmed luncheon meeting on Wednesday with Faulkner. Search of Faulkner’s hotel room, conducted 4:30 a.m. Saturday, January 4, with Sergeant Veldu present and two security officers from Warners, Lovell and Hillier, led to discovery of.38 caliber revolver, recently fired. Ballistics run indicates this was weapon used to kill Shatzkin. Faulkner charged with murder 7 a.m. Saturday, January 4, 1942. Asked to call lawyer, Martin R. Leib of Westwood. Made no further statement.”

I had just finished the report when the door opened and Cawelti of the sleek dark hair ushered William Faulkner into the small office.

Faulkner was a wiry guy about my age and height with a small mustache and a chip on his shoulder the size of Catalina Island. He had a high-bridged, almost Indian nose with heavy-lidded, deep-set brown eyes. His face was tan and he held a blackened pipe in his thin lips. I couldn’t tell what was going on in his head other than that he had a distaste for the room, the situation, me, and possibly life in general. His eyes seemed to show melancholy, calculation, and a private sense of humor at the same time, as if he saw himself as a tragic figure and accepted the role, maybe even welcomed it. I can’t say I liked him immediately. I wondered whether he knew any vampire poems. “Your client,” Cawelti said, ushering Faulkner to the chair across from Phil’s desk and backing out with feigned respect. Faulkner didn’t sit. He didn’t offer his hand. He took the pipe out of his mouth and examined me.

“Forgive my lack of social grace in these surroundings, Mister…”

“Peters,” I said. “Toby Peters. Private investigator working for Martin Leib and, I guess, Warner Brothers on your behalf.”

Faulkner’s voice was a little deeper than I had expected and distinctly Southern. I was having trouble with my words, trying to be formal and knowing I was unnatural. He had that effect. Faulkner stood behind the chair playing with his pipe, and I walked over to the window behind Phil’s desk and pretended to look out. Since it faced a brick wall four feet away and hadn’t been cleaned for a generation or two, I couldn’t see anything.

“I don’t think they’re going to give us a lot of time in here,” I said, “so I’d appreciate it if you’d just tell your story.”

I pulled out my notebook with the worn spirals. It had a few ragged pages left. I could finish up on the back of the letter in my pocket from a hotel in Fresno complaining that I owed them for a night’s lodging from a lifetime or two ago. I turned my eyes to Faulkner, who looked as if he might be deciding to tell me to go to hell. An almost nonexistent move of his shoulder made me think he had chosen possible salvation over dignity. I almost wrote that down, but I didn’t have enough paper and the nub of my pencil might not last long. I also thought I had stolen the line from the one Faulkner novel I had read.

“There is irony in your request,” Faulkner said, examining his pipe for defects and appreciating the embers. “I’ve just delivered a collection of stories to my publisher, none of which is as bizarre as this. I was going to start by saying-as I told the police-that I have killed no one.”

“I understand how you feel,” I said, scratching away to visible lead with my grimy thumb so I’d have a pencil to work with.

“Unfortunately,” Faulkner went on softly, “I don’t need sympathy. I need professional help. My inclination is simply to be irate and insist on my release, but apparently someone has gone through quite an effort to make that impossible.” “You mean you think you’ve been framed?” I said, to stay in the conversation.