Parnell Hall: The Naked Typist

“That’s not the point. You told him about her working naked. You two have been sitting in here having a good laugh at your client’s expense.”

Steve sighed. He wasn’t about to point out that Mark Taylor had been the one doing all the laughing. “Tracy,” Steve said, “I don’t want to go off on a big feminist thing here. The fact is, the girl was working nude.”

“Woman.”

“What?”

“She’s not a girl. She’s twenty-something years old. She’s a woman.”

“And if she was working with her clothes on, it wouldn’t occur to you to get upset if I called her a girl. Because she was naked, the whole thing’s about sex and you’re ready to spring to her defense at the slightest provocation.”

“Don’t change the subject.”

“What subject?”

“The fact is, she’s a client, and you and Mark Taylor were making fun at her expense.”

“What do you mean, at her expense? Mark Taylor never met her. He doesn’t even know who she is.”

“You know her.”

“Yeah. So?”

“You didn’t have to tell Mark Taylor. You tell him about the case, fine, but did you have to tell him she was naked?”

“Tracy,” Steve said. “Mark Taylor’s more than a business associate. He’s my best friend. We were roommates at college, for Christ’s sake.”

“Exactly,” Tracy said. “And that’s how you treated it. Two college kids talking dirty about the coeds.”

Steve threw up his hands. “Fine. Guilty as charged. Tracy, look. Yes, I told him she was typing naked. Maybe that was wrong, but I couldn’t help myself. I’m a human being. It’s not every day a lawyer gets a naked client. You expect me not to talk about it? To my best friend?

“And, as far as this Castleton business goes, it’s the whole story. Aside from her being naked, this was probably the dullest, most boring, most straightforward, conservative case I’ve ever handled. A simple civil suit, to be settled out of court. A boring business negotiation. You know and I know if she hadn’t been naked, I wouldn’t have handled it.”

“I know that, but-”

“But that’s neither here nor there. The point is, I’m wrong, and I apologize. Okay?”

Tracy frowned. Steve could tell she wasn’t really content to let it go at that but couldn’t think of anything else to say.

“All right,” Tracy said, reluctantly. She unfolded her glasses, started to put them on again.

“Now, about this letter Mark wanted you to type,” Steve said.

Tracy snatched her glasses off again, glared at him. Steve’s eyes twinkled. The corner of Tracy’s mouth twitched. She suppressed a giggle. “All right, all right,” she said. “It’s funny, but it shouldn’t be. That’s the point.”

“Absolutely,” Steve said. “I think we’re in complete agreement.”

There came the sound of a door closing.

“Someone’s in the outer office,” Tracy said. “I hope they didn’t hear that last exchange.”

She went out, closing the door behind her. She returned a few minutes later.

“A young man to see you,” she said.

“A young man?” Steve said.

“Yes. Young. If he were a woman, you’d call him a girl. Mid-twenties.”

“Oh? And what is he wearing?”

“He’s dressed.”

“That’s a relief. What does he want?”

“He wouldn’t say. But I have an idea.”

“Oh? And why is that?”

“Because his name is David Castleton.”

David Castleton shook hands with Steve Winslow and sat in the clients’ chair.

“So,” Steve said. You wished to see me?”

“Yes.”

“What about?”

David Castleton tugged at his shirt collar as if the tie he was wearing was slightly too tight. “Well,” he said, “I’m David Castleton. Milton Castleton is my grandfather.”

Steve nodded. That was no surprise, even though it was hard to relate the handsome, sandy-haired, open-faced youth to the bald, emaciated old man. “Yes?”

“I understand you just had some dealings with my grandfather.”

Steve frowned. “You can understand anything you like. This is a law office. If you came here for information, you’re in the wrong place.”

David Castleton held up his hands. “No, no. I quite understand. That was just a preliminary remark. You don’t have to tell me, I’ll tell you. You recently handled a case against my grandfather. For a Miss Kelly Blaine. Settled out of court. That case is resolved. Over. Finished.”

“So what’s the point?”

David Castleton took a breath. “I’m interested in Kelly Blaine.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“That’s it. I’m not interested in the suit or anything. Just her.”

“What about her?”

“I was hoping you could tell me something about her.”

Steve looked at him narrowly. Could the man really be as young as all that? “I can’t discuss a client with you. You should know that.”

“I do, I do. It’s just-I’m sorry, I’m saying this badly. I don’t want you to discuss her. It’s just-Well, I’d like you to speak to her for me.”

“Speak to her?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because I’d like to apologize for what happened and see if I can make it up to her in any way.”

“Make it up to her?”

“Yes.”

“How?”

David Castleton shifted uncomfortably in his chair. “I don’t know. I just thought if I could talk to her. Take her out to dinner. I have contacts. Perhaps I could get her situated in another job.”

Steve nodded. “That seems a very noble sentiment. Why don’t you do that?”

David Castleton shifted position again. “Well, that’s why I came to you.”

“Oh?”

“Yes. I was hoping you could help me get in touch with her.”

“Get in touch with her?”

“Yes.”

“You don’t have her address?”

“No.”

“I don’t understand.”

David Castleton tugged at his shirt collar again. Steve wasn’t sure if it was really bothering him, or if it was just a nervous habit. “Well, you see,” he said, “I work for my grandfather. That is, I work for Castleton Industries. So I really work for my father, since grandfather’s retired. That’s another thing. Grandfather may be retired, but Dad never does anything without consulting him. He always has his thumb in-you know what I mean?”

Steve took a breath. “I know what you mean. I just don’t know what you’re getting at.”

“What I’m getting at is, I don’t work at grandfather’s apartment, I work at the company. Kelly Blaine was grandfather’s secretary. She wasn’t part of Castleton Industries. This was something separate altogether. Castleton Industries has no record of her employment. The only one who would have that would be Grandpa and, of course, Phil Danby.”

Steve held up his hand. “Wait a minute. Let me be sure I understand this. You’re saying you want to contact Kelly Blaine, but you don’t want your grandfather to know about it?”

David Castleton tugged at his shirt collar again. “Well, that’s not the way I would have put it.”

“Yes, but that’s essentially it, isn’t it? You just got through saying her address wasn’t in the company records, that only your grandfather would have it. If you could ask him for it you wouldn’t be here.”

David Castleton grinned sheepishly. “Yeah, I guess that’s right.”

“So, the situation is, you wanna contact Kelly Blaine, and you came here to get her address and phone number.”

“Well, her phone’s not listed.”

“No, I don’t suppose it is. Tell me, did you really expect me to give you this information?”

“Actually, no. I quite understand if you wouldn’t. But she’s your client. You must know how to contact her. I thought if you could call her, give her my phone number. Explain who I am and tell her I want to contact her.”