Stuart Kaminsky - Catch a Falling Clown

Gargantua eyed me lazily when I came in. He was standing and trying to see beyond the bars to whatever strange events were taking place to his left, just out of sight.

Peg and Shelly came toward me with the doctor. Behind them I could see Puddles lying in her cage while the other lion leaned over her with what looked like concern.

“Did he kill her?” I asked Peg, whose hair was down completely.

“Kill her?” said Shelly. “I saved that animal’s jaw alignment. Filed down the left number three and evened them. Damn, Toby, wait till I report this to the county society.”

“He did a good job,” nodded the old doctor in what sounded like astonishment.

“He’s used to working with animals,” I said. “Puddles is probably one of the tamest patients Shelly’s had in months.”

“Just put her to sleep,” said Shelly with a gloat. “Easiest thing I’ve done. I’d like some of that stuff to put my patients out.”

“It’d kill a human,” said the doctor.

“Well,” gloated Shelly, “I could control it. Temper it, you know. Be careful.”

“I’d advise against it,” said Doc Ogle, but I could see Shelly considering a nice dose of whatever it was for Mrs. Ramirez and Mr. Stange. We would need a long talk at some point in the near future.

Shelly put an arm around the old doctor, who tried to shrink away, but Shelly wasn’t having any. Cigar in mouth, Shel was describing to the old man what he had done in terms which were far from technical.

“You see the way I sawed that damn thing down? Then all it took was the file and a tape measure. If you know what you’re doing, it comes easy. Now, about that fifty dollars …”

Peg, at my side, took my arm. “I’m sorry about last night, Toby,” she said. “It’s just that I’m …”

I gave her a squeeze and suggested that we forget about it and find a killer. It seemed a good idea to both of us.

Peg had to locate Elder. I told her where he was and left Shelly oppressing the doctor. I headed back for Agnes Sudds’s wagon, working out a plan. I didn’t have one quite worked out when I got there. I seldom did, but as it turned out, I didn’t need one.

I started to open the door to the wagon with the snake’s face on it and heard a cry behind me.

“No, Toby,” came Gunther’s voice. I turned to face him as he stepped out from behind a nearby wagon, but it was too late.

“Ah, Mr. Peters,” came a voice which was far from back home or friendly. “Perhaps you could just step in so we can settle a few things.”

I considered running, but I knew I’d get a bullet in my back. The thought made my tender spine tingle. So I stepped into the wagon and grinned at Sheriff Nelson and Deputy Alex. Agnes stood back in the corner, drinking something clear and cool-looking.

“Venom?” I asked, glancing at her glass.

Agnes gave a nasty smirk. Alex and Nelson wouldn’t even give that.

“You will hold out your hand,” said Nelson, adjusting his dirty white hat with one hand and leveling his pistol at me with the other. “Alex will affix a handcuff to your wrist, and we will go back to Mirador on this lovely morning to have that little talk that was interrupted yesterday.”

“She did it,” I said, nodding at Agnes.

Nelson sighed enormously. “Your hand, Peters, or I shall be forced to shoot you before Alex has the opportunity for further discussion.”

I looked at Alex, who touched his right hand to his neck. Maybe a quick bullet or two would be better than a few minutes with Alex.

Agnes, however, was more interested in what I was saying than what Nelson was going on about. “Me?” she said, plunking her now empty glass on the table. “I did it? I did what?”

“You had something to do with letting the lion out, probably the killings of the Tanuccis,” I said evenly, holding out my wrist.

“You bastard,” she shouted. Animals rustled throughout the room, and Nelson looked nervous.

“Now, just a minute,” Nelson shouted. Alex clamped a cuff on my right hand and made it tight.

Agnes moved to the trunk where Murray resided.

“There’s a python in there,” I said to Nelson.

He turned to the trunk, gun outstretched. “It would be best if you didn’t touch that,” he said. “I’ll blow a hole through you and it if I see any damn snake.”

Agnes hesitated.

“She had something to do with it,” I insisted.

“Then we shall just take her with us too,” said Nelson, nodding to Alex. Alex dragged me across the small room to Agnes. He grabbed her arm and clamped the other end of the cuff to her wrist. Agnes and I were now hitched.

“Now,” said Nelson, “we shall just leave quietly. I will brook no interference from the people here.”

Agnes kicked me two or three times, and I told her softly that if she did it one more time I’d smash her face with my free left hand. She kicked me again, and I raised my fist.

“OK,” she said, covering up.

Alex pulled us out the door and down the stairs. Outside, Gunther stood helplessly.

“Gunther,” I said. “Find Elder. Tell him Agnes and I are being taken to Mirador. I’m not going to cause any trouble, and I’d like a lawyer over there before anything happens to me.”

“I understand,” said Gunther.

“Call Marty Leib in L.A.,” I shouted back as Alex prodded Agnes and me forward. “Maybe he knows some good local lawyer.”

“I understand,” he said sadly.

Nelson was sweating as he got into the back seat of the police car. I saw the scratch on the police car as I got in. I had done a bit of damage to the Mirador police department and was, I expected, about to suffer for it. Agnes and I were crowded into the front seat next to Alex, who drove. Nelson sat in the back seat with his gun leveled at us.

And off we went in the general direction of Mirador.

It was difficult to enjoy the scenery on the trip back to Mirador. On my left, Alex drove slowly, savoring what he was going to do to me when he got me alone. He gave my leg a loving squeeze. My brother had done that once when we were kids, and I had never forgotten the pain. Alex was going Phil one pain better. Behind me sat a now satisfied Mark Nelson humming, “Side by Side.” At my right sat Agnes Sudds, who was more than angry with me for dragging her into this and accusing her of murder. I avoided Agnes for a while and tried to see Nelson’s face in the rearview mirror.

“Sit still,” warned Alex.

“My wrist hurts,” I said.

“Alex will soon take your mind off that discomfort,” said Nelson from the back seat. He had stopped singing “Side by Side” and had switched to the “Rickety Rickshaw Man.”

“Doesn’t bother you that I’m not the killer?” I said.

“Not a jot,” beamed Nelson. “The two victims, or one that I am sure of, were not citizens of Mirador. They are from the outside, and their killer, who I assume to be you, is also from outside our tranquil confines. When the circus goes tomorrow, the killer goes too, if you are not the killer. However, you are the killer.”

“You don’t even really think I am,” I said. “You just want this wrapped up.”

“Like a Baby Ruth candy bar,” he said.

“Why don’t you tell him again that I did it?” hissed Agnes like one of her snakes.

I was about to suggest just that when I looked at Agnes. I didn’t like the way she was smiling or the way she looked down toward her lap. I looked down at her lap too and saw Abdul curled there, gazing at me.

“Holy …” I said with nowhere to go but through the windshield. I couldn’t even do that without taking Agnes and Abdul with me.

“What the hell is wrong with you, Peters?” said Nelson.