Martin Edwards - I Remember You

‘To leave you in no doubt he knew who you were.’

‘When he gave me a ring later that day, he was in high good humour. He seemed to think that having tattooed me gave him some claim over my body. He asked me to meet him at a dive, but though I tried giving him the cold shoulder, it didn’t work.’ She sighed. ‘I was so afraid that if I antagonised him, he’d let it slip that I’d once been the lover of the man who had killed Baz’s brother.’

‘Did you know about the connection before you became involved with Baz?’

‘It cropped up during my earliest days at Radio Liverpool. There had been some outrage in Northern Ireland and Baz seemed very moody when the news was broadcast. Someone said his twin brother had been murdered by a terrorist gunman. The surname rang a bell, so I checked the old newspaper files — and there it was, in black and white, like something out of a nightmare. John Gilbert was Baz’s twin. I couldn’t believe it.’

‘Yet you still got together with Baz?’

‘Yes. You’ll think this is the stupidity of a callow Irish girl, but I felt somehow it was meant . Already by then I fancied him like mad, though he’d never asked me out — at the time, he was getting over a relationship with a girl from a group which used to tour the clubs. John’s murder brought us closer together, if anything. Call it fate, if you like. After all, we’d both been victims of Pearse Cato.’

‘Why not come clean?’

‘Are you serious? It would have finished any chance I had with him. Who wants to sleep with a terrorist’s tart? And more than that — I’d done nothing to stop Cato killing John. I could have called the security forces, I’ve asked myself a thousand times since why I didn’t. The truth was, I was scared. It was as much as I could do to pluck up the courage to run away.’

‘You could have explained.’

‘Baz would never have understood. Believe me, I know him. He was — and is — so bitter about Cato, I knew I’d be tainted for ever in his eyes if he found out the truth. No, it was all the more important for me to keep my identity as Penny Newland if I wanted to win him. And I did. Anyway, in the end Baz started taking notice of me and for a time everything was wonderful.’

‘Until Finbar arrived on the scene.’

‘He simply would not take no for an answer. The blarney didn’t cut any ice with me, but I couldn’t shake him off. For God’s sake, someone was trying to murder him: the fire, the bomb in the car. And yet he still had only one thing on his mind.’

‘He wanted to sleep with you?’

‘Well, he dressed it up a little, but I wasn’t born yesterday. I grew up a lot during my time in Dublin, and Liverpool was my finishing school in self-preservation. I didn’t find it difficult to resist him. But yesterday he came to see me and said he was going to make me an offer I couldn’t refuse. He said he’d finished with Melissa and Sophie and would I like to go out with him for a couple of hours in the evening. To talk about old times, he said — there’s a euphemism, if ever you heard one!’

‘And you agreed?’

‘Not at once. I tried to give him the brush off. Looking back, maybe I sounded too cold. Anyway, he dug his heels in and gave a veiled hint that if I didn’t say yes, the world and his wife would find out about my background. He knew about John — either Melissa or Sophie must have told him — and he could see Baz was my weak spot. I wouldn’t dare do anything which might let the cat out of the bag.’

‘Where did you arrange to meet?’

‘Outside the Adelphi. He’d hired a car and he’d said he would take me out to some swish place in Crosby. Needless to say, we never made it.’ She bowed her head and lapsed into silence. Harry said nothing. He sensed that, in her own good time, she would bring the story to its conclusion.

‘He parked up at Colonial Dock,’ she said at last. ‘I didn’t have much choice but to get in the back of the car with him — I’ll spare you the details. Anyway, after a while he decided he needed a pee. He pulled himself off me and got out of the car. I saw him stagger thirty yards down the road, then start pissing into a grid. I thought how much I wished him dead. All the time he’d been on top of me, I’d been worrying, what if this isn’t the end, but just the beginning? He had a hold over me. All right, most of the time he was harmless enough — but every now and then, when his girlfriend of the day let him down and walked out of the door, he’d remember me. The woman who never would dare to say no.’ She sighed, a long low sound. ‘You can imagine the rest. I hauled myself into the front of the car. His key was in the ignition and I started the engine the moment he straightened up and turned back to rejoin me. Sweet Jesus, I don’t think he even bothered to zip his fly!’

Her eyes were unfocused as she remembered. ‘I can still see his look as I accelerated towards him. Disbelief was written all over his face. He stood frozen in the road, he didn’t even try to dive out of the way. So I hit him.’

‘Then drove over him again to make sure.’

She spread her arms, in defensive response to the bitterness in his tone. ‘So, Harry Devlin, what will you do? Tell the police? Turn me in?’

‘You have a case for claiming it was manslaughter. Find yourself a slick defence lawyer — this city’s full of them, we get enough practice. You might only be looking at a couple of years’ probation.’

‘That doesn’t sound like justice. I killed a man.’

‘According to you, he as good as asked for it.’

She stepped towards him and a splash of light from the lamps outside fell across her face. He could see in her expression how she was haunted by the past, tormented by what she had done.

‘Don’t you understand? When I was with Cato, I had enough of death and deceit to last a dozen lifetimes. I thought it hadn’t corrupted me, but I was wrong. Killing’s got into my blood and no Liverpool lawyer can suck it out.’ She laughed, a sharp scornful sound. ‘Not even if he’s another vampire.’

‘So you’ll go to the police?’ He swallowed, knowing he had to act. He couldn’t let her walk free, like Debbie. After all, a man had died. ‘If you don’t, I must.’

‘Of course you must. But right now, I need time to think — face up to things, if you like. Do you mind?’

‘I’m not one for making citizen’s arrests. Do all the thinking you need.’

She touched his hand before walking towards a door which led out to the river. For a moment she paused with her hand on the metal bar, as if she meant to say something else. But then she stepped into the foggy night and he sensed he would never speak to her again.

‘Did Penny do it deliberately?’ asked Jim Crusoe, five days later.

‘Oh, she meant to kill Finbar, all right,’ said Harry, ‘although I’m sure it was a spur of the moment — ’

‘No, no,’ his partner interrupted. ‘I was talking about her own death.’

The swollen body of Edna Doyle, also known as Penny Newland, had been washed up at Botanic Dock on the morning of All Saints’ Day. A homeless teenager, sleeping rough in the ruins of a disused boatyard, had discovered the corpse. No one could tell how she had come to drown.

‘The post mortem confirmed she was alive when she went into the Mersey. There’s no question of murder and it may be she lost her footing soon after leaving me. Conditions were treacherous on Hallowe’en. Quite apart from the fog, there were patches of ice on the ground and vandals had made a gap in the walkway railing.’

‘Do you seriously believe … hey, look at that!’

Jim was distracted by the first flowering of the fireworks against the night sky. The slivers of silver shone in the dark with a brilliance that shamed the stars.