A. Fair - The Bigger They Come

Cunweather turned back to his wife, and said, ‘What do you think, m’love? Don’t you think Mr. Lam is a bright young man?’

Mrs. Cunweather said, tonelessly, ‘Fred was driving the sedan when he took Lam back to his room. Lam got a look at the license number.’

Cunweather’s headshake was emphatic. ‘I don’t think he did, m’love. When I told Fred to take the sedan, I cautioned him about that. I told him to switch out the lights when he parked the car, deliver Mr. Lam to his room, and not switch on the car lights until he was certain Lam was where he couldn’t see.’

‘That’s how Lam found this place,’ Mrs. Cunweather said in a tone of flat finality.

The chief pinched his pendulous lower lip between his thumb and forefinger. ‘I hope Fred isn’t getting careless,’ he said. ‘I do, indeed. I’d hate to lose Fred. That’s the worst of a man who has a great deal of physical prowess. He underestimates men who are not as strong as he is. I think Fred always underestimates the other man’s mentality, don’t you, m’love?’

‘We’ll talk about Fred later,’ she said. ‘Right now we’re talking about hiring Mrs. Cool and Mr. Lam.’

‘Leave me out of it,’ I said.

Mrs. Cool said, ‘Don’t pay any attention to Donald. He’s working for me. I’m giving the orders. What’s your proposition?’

‘I don’t know that we have any,’ Cunweather said.

His tone lacked finality, and Bertha Cool didn’t take the answer as final. She continued to sit there, waiting. Cunweather glanced once more at his wife, twisted his underlip into a weird shape. ‘I’ll be frank with you, Mrs. Cool,’ he said. ‘We’re in a position where time is precious. Seconds may count. We need’ help to get certain information. I think you have some of the information we want. We might talk a while.’

‘You talk,’ she said. ‘I’ll listen.’

‘No, that won’t do at all. We’d have to exchange information.’

Bertha Cool said, ‘I don’t want any of your information. If, you want some of mine, it’s going to cost you money.’

‘Yes, yes. I understand,’ Cunweather said. ‘But in order to determine how extensive your information is and how much it... might be worth to us, we’d have to talk things over.’

‘Go ahead and talk,’ Bertha Cool said, shifting her weight in, the chair in search of a more comfortable position.

Cunweather said, ‘We don’t want Morgan Birks now. We do want information about Morgan’s sweetheart. My men slipped up on that, and slipped up badly. I knew that there was to be a play at the Perkins Hotel. I knew Morgan was scheduled to meet someone there. I didn’t know when. I didn’t know whom. Apparently the woman we wanted was registered as Mrs. B. F.. Morgan. Now my men were so busy looking for Morgan Birks they didn’t pay much attention to that woman. She gave us the slip.’

Cunweather paused to give Mrs. Cool a chance to talk. She didn’t say anything.

‘We’d like very much to know more about Mrs. B. F. Morgan,’ Cunweather said.

‘How much do you want to know, and what’s it worth?’

‘We’d like to know where we could find her.’

‘I could help on that,’ Bertha Cool said.

‘Could you put your finger on her?’

‘Yes.’

Cunweather glanced again at his wife. She maintained a ‘ stony stare of silent attention. When Cunweather failed to receive a signal, he turned to Mrs. Cool. ‘Well now,’ he said, ‘that would help. Of course, Mrs. Cool, I’ll be frank with you; one of our objections to hiring outside help is that they some times try to do a little chiseling on the side. We don’t like that. I think Mr. Lam has told you it isn’t healthy to try to chisel on us.’

Bertha Cool said, ‘Don’t try to frighten me. My health is very good. I have a damn strong constitution.’

‘Ha! ha! ha!’ Cunweather laughed. ‘That’s good! A strong constitution. Yes, Mrs. Cool, I’m satisfied you have. I like the way you handle yourself. I think we could offer you employment.’

Mrs. Cool said, ‘When I leave here, I’m going to see Sandra Birks. If you want me to work for you and there’s enough money in it, I’ll work for you. If Sandra Birks wants me to work for her and there’s enough money in it, I’ll work for her. I want to pick the job that offers the most money.’

‘You mean you want me to make an offer?’

‘Yes.’

‘And then you want to see Mrs. Birks and see what she has in mind?’

‘Yes.’

‘And accept the best offer?’

‘Yes.’

‘I don’t think I’d like that,’ Cunweather said. ‘I’m quite certain I wouldn’t like it. I don’t think it would be ethical.’

‘Don’t lose any sleep worrying about my ethics,’ Bertha Cool said. ‘I’m putting my cards on the table.’

‘Yes, I can see you are, Mrs. Cool — are you going to tell Sandra Birks that you had this chat with me?’

‘That depends,’ she said.

‘On what?’

‘On what Sandra Birks wants me to do, and how much money there is in it.’

‘We wouldn’t like you to mention that you were here. We’d consider it a violation of a confidence,’ Cunweather said.

‘I wouldn’t,’ Bertha Cool retorted. ‘You didn’t invite me here. I found the place.’

‘You’re making things rather difficult,’ Cunweather said.

Bertha Cool sighed. ‘We’re doing a hell of a lot of talking without getting any place.’

Cunweather said soothingly, ‘Look here, Mrs. Cool, I’m interested in your proposition, but I have to know a little more before I fix my price. I can’t go blind.’

‘What do you want to know?’

‘I want to know that you can really put your finger on Morgan’s sweetie. I want to know that you really served Morgan Birks, and weren’t being victimized by a clever hoax.’

‘Who do you mean by that?’

‘Sandra Birks wanted a divorce. She had to serve papers on Morgan. She couldn’t find Morgan, so she thought it might be’ clever to plant someone as Morgan Birks. You think Morgan Birks came to the Perkins Hotel today. We feel positive he didn’t.’

Mrs. Cool opened her purse, took out a cigarette, put it between her lips, groped around for matches, lit the cigarette, and, said, ‘Tell him, Donald.’

‘What?’ I asked.

‘All about serving Morgan Birks. Keep talking until I tell you to stop.’

I said, ‘Sandra Birks hired us. I went up to her apartment and got pictures of Morgan Birks. They were good snapshots. I checked up on them to make certain she hadn’t planted some phonies in the album.’

‘Yes, I know,’ Cunweather said. ‘You’re right on that. Those snapshots were in your pocket together with the original summons.’

I said, ‘Sandra’s brother, B. L. Thorns, whom she calls Bleatie, came out from Kansas City to—’

‘From where?’ Mrs. Cunweather interrupted.

‘From Kansas City.’

The chief glanced sharply at his wife. ‘Go on, Lam,’ he said.

‘Bleatie came out to help Sandra. He knows Morgan Birks very well. I gather he’s more friendly with Morgan than he is with his own sister. He said he’d give us a lead that would let its put the finger on Morgan Birks any time he was satisfied Sandra wasn’t trying to double-cross Morgan. He didn’t seem to have a particularly high opinion of his sister’s morals or integrity.’

I could see gleaming interest in the eyes of the fat man. Mrs. Cool said casually, ‘That’s far enough, Donald. If we go on from there, it costs money.’

‘What do you mean money?’ the fat man asked.

‘Something,’ she said, ‘to pay for getting up at this hour of the morning. I’m running a detective agency. I have rent to pay, salaries to pay, a tax on my payroll, a federal income tax, an occupation tax to the city, and a state income tax on the money that’s left after the federal people get done with my income. Then I have to pay a sales tax on all the clothes I buy and—’