Dorothy Sayers - Clouds of Witness

"You will find," said the witness suddenly, "that those bits of words on the blotting-paper come out of the letter. You'll 'scuse my mentioning it."

"Is this person put forward as an expert witness?" inquired Sir Wigmore witheringly.

"Right ho!" said Lord Peter. "Only, you see, it has been rather sprung on Biggy as you might say.

"Biggy and Wiggy

Were two pretty men,

They went into court,

When the clock-"

"Sir Impey, I must really ask you to keep your witness in order."

Lord Peter grinned, and a pause ensued while an interpreter was fetched and sworn. Then, at last, the letter was read, amid a breathless silence:

" Riddlesdale Lodge,

" Stapley,

" N.E. Yorks.

" Le 13 Octobre, 1923.

" Simone,-Je viens de recevoir ta lettre. Que dire? Inutiles, les prieres ou les reproches. Tu ne comprendras-tu ne liras meme pas.

" N'ai-je pas toujours su, d'ailleurs, que tu devais infailliblement me trahir? Depuis dix, ans deja je souffre tous les tourments que puisse infliger la jalousie. Je comprends bien que to n'as jamais voulu me faire de la peine. C'est tout justement cette insouciance, cette legereté, cette façon seduisante d'etre malhonneté, que j'adorais en toi. J'ai tout su, et je t'ai aimée.

" Ma foi, non, ma chere, jamais je n'ai eu la moindre illusion. Te rappelles-tu cette premiere rencontre, un soir au Casino? Tu avais dix-sept ans, et tu etais jolie a ravir. Le lendemain tu fus a moi. Tu m'as dit, si gentiment, que to m'aimais bien, et que j'etais, moi, le premier. Ma pauvre enfant, tu en as menti. Tu rials, toute seule, de ma naiveté-il y avait bien de quoi rire! Des notre premier baiser, j'ai prevu ce moment.

" Mais ecoute, Simone. J'ai la faiblesse de vouloir te montrer exactement ce que tu as fait de moi. Tu regretteras peut-etre en peu. Mais, non-si tu pouvais regretter quoi que ce fut, tu ne serais plus Simone.

" Il y a dix ans, la veille de la guerre, j'etais riche-moins riche que ton Americain, mais assez riche pour te donner l'etablissement qu'il te fallait. Tu etais moins exigeante avant le guerre, Simone-qui est-ce qui, pendant mon absence, t'a enseigne le gout du luxe? Charmante discretion de ma part de ne jamais te le demander! Eh bien, une grande partie de ma fortune se trouvant placee en Russie et en Allemagne, j'en ai perdu plus des trois-quarts. Ce que m'en restait en France a beaucoup diminue en valeur. Il est vrai que j'avais mon traitement de capitaine dans l'armée britannique, mais c'est peu de chose, tu sais. Avant meme la fin de la guerre, tu m'avais mangé toutes mes economies. C'etait idiot, quoi? Un jeune homme que à perdu les trois-quarts de ses rentes ne se permet plus une maitresse et un appartement Avenue Kleber. Ou il congedie madame, ou bien il lui demande quelques sacrifices. Je n'ai rien osé demander. Si j'etais venu un jour te dire, 'Simone je suis pauvre'-que m'aurais-tu repondu?

" Sais-tu ce que j'ai fait? Non-tu n'as jamais pensé a demander d'ou venait cet argent. Qu'est-ce que cela pouvait te faire que j'ai tout jeté-fortune, honneur, bonheur-pour te posseder? J'ai joue desesperement, eperdument-j'ai fait pis: j'ai triché au jeu. Je te vois hausser les epaules-tu ris-tu dis, 'Tiens, c'est malin, ça!' Out, mais cela ne se fait pas. On m'aurait chasse du regiment. Je devenais le dernier des hommes.

" D'ailleurs, cela ne pouvait durer. Deja un soir a Paris on m'a fait une scene desagreable, bien qu'on n'ait rien pu prouver. C'est alors que je me suis fiancé avec cette demoiselle dont je t'ai parlé, la fille du duc anglais. Le beau projet, quoi! Entretenir ma maitresse avec 1'argent de ma femme! Et je l'aurais fait-et je le ferais encore demain, si c'etait pour te reposseder.

" Mais tu me quittes. Cet Americain est riche-archi-riche. Depuis longtemps tu me repetes que ton appartement est trop petit et que tu t'ennuies a mourir. Cet ami bienveillant t'offre les autos, les diamants, les mille-et-une nuits, la lune! Aupres de ces merveilles, evidemment, que valent 1'amour et l'honneur?

" Enfin, le bon duc est d'une stupidité très commode. Il laisse trainer son revolver dans le tiroir de son bureau. D'ailleurs, il vient de me demander une explication à propos de cette histoire de cartes. Tu vois qu'en tout cas la partie etait finie. Pourquoi t'en vouloir? On mettra sans doute mon suicide au compte de cet exposé. Tant mieux; je ne veux pas qu'on affiche mon histoire amoureuse dans les journaux.

" Adieu, ma bien-aimée-mon adorée, mon adorée, ma Simone. Sois heureuse avec ton nouvel amant. Ne pense plus a moi. Qu'est-ce tout cela peut bien te faire? Mon Dieu, comme je t'ai aimée-comme je t'aime toujours, malgré moi. Mais c'en est fini. Jamais plus tu ne me perceras le coeur. Oh! J'enrage-je suis fou de douleur! Adieu.

" Denis Cathcart. "

" Simone,-I have just got your letter. What am I to say? It is useless to entreat or reproach you. You would not understand, or even read the letter.

" Besides, I always knew you must betray me some day. I have suffered a hell of jealousy for the last ten years. I know perfectly well you never meant to hurt me. It was just your utter lightness and carelessness and your attractive way of being dishonest which was so adorable. I knew everything, and loved you all the same.

" Oh, no, my dear, I never had any illusions. You remember our first meeting that night at the Casino. You were seventeen, and heartbreakingly lovely. You came to me the very next day. You told me, very prettily, that you loved me and that I was the first. My poor little girl, that wasn't true. I expect, when you were alone, you laughed to think I was so easily taken in. But there was nothing to laugh at. From our very first kiss I foresaw this moment.

" I'm afraid I'm weak enough, though, to want to tell you just what you have done for me. You may be sorry. But no-if you could regret anything, you wouldn't be Simone any longer.

" Ten years ago, before the war, I was rich-not so rich as your new American, but rich enough to give you what you wanted. You didn't want quite so much before the war, Simone. Who taught you to be so extravagant while I was away? I think it was very nice of me never to ask you. Well, most of my money was in Russian and German securities, and more than three-quarters of it went west. The remainder in France went down considerably in value. I had my captain's pay, of course, but that didn't amount to much. Even before the end of the war you had managed to get through all my savings. Of course, I was a fool. A young man whose income has been reduced by three-quarters can't afford an expensive mistress and a flat in the Avenue Kleber. He ought either to dismiss the lady or to demand a little self-sacrifice. But I didn't dare demand anything. Suppose I had come to you one day and said, 'Simone, I've lost my money'-what would you have said to me?

" What do you think I did? I don't suppose you ever thought about it at all. You didn't care if I was chucking away my money and my honour and my happiness to keep you. I gambled desperately. I did worse, I cheated at cards. I can see you shrug your shoulders and say, 'Good for you!' But it's a rotten thing to do-a rotter's game. If anybody had found out they'd have cashiered me.

" Besides, it couldn't go on for ever. There was one row in Paris, though they couldn't prove anything. So then I got engaged to the English girl I told you about-the duke's daughter. Pretty, wasn't it? I actually brought myself to consider keeping my mistress on my wife's money! But I'd have done it, and I'd do it again, to get you back.

" And now you've chucked me. This American is colossally rich. For a long time you've been dinning into my ears that the flat is too small and that you're bored to death. Your 'good friend' can offer you cars, diamonds-Aladdin's palace-the moon! I admit that love and honour look pretty small by comparison.