Agatha Christie: N or M

Before Tommy could reply to these artless queries, his neighbour on the other side, the beaded lady, struck in:

"What I say is one mustn't risk anything with children. Your sweet little Betty. You'd never forgive yourself and you know that Hitler has said the Blitzkrieg on England is coming quite soon now - and quite a new kind of gas, I believe."

Major Bletchley cut in sharply:

"Lot of nonsense talked about gas. The fellows won't waste time fiddling round with gas. High explosive and incendiary bombs. That's what was done in Spain."

The whole table plunged in the discussion with gusto. Tuppence's voice, high pitched and slightly fatuous, piped out: "My son Douglas says -"

"Douglas, indeed," thought Tommy. "Why Douglas, I should like to know."

After dinner, a pretentious meal of several meagre courses, all of which were equally tasteless, everyone drifted into the lounge. Knitting was resumed and Tommy was compelled to hear a long and extremely boring account of Major Bletchley's experiences on the North-West Frontier.

The fair young man with the bright blue eyes went out, executing a little bow on the threshold of the room.

Major Bletchley broke off his narrative and administered a kind of dig in the ribs to Tommy.

"That fellow who's just gone out. He's a refugee. Got out of Germany about a month before the war."

"He's a German?"

"Yes. Not a Jew, either. His father got into trouble for criticizing the Nazi régime. Two of his brothers are in concentration camps over there. This fellow got out just in time."

At this moment Tommy was taken possession of by Mr Cayley who told him at interminable length all about her health. So absorbing was the subject to the narrator that it was close upon bedtime before Tommy could escape.

On the following morning Tommy rose early and strolled down to the front. He walked briskly to the pier and was returning along the esplanade when he spied a familiar figure coming in the other direction. Tommy raised his hat.

"Good morning," he said pleasantly. "Er - Mrs Blenkensop, isn't it?"

There was no one within earshot. Tuppence replied:

"Dr Livingstone to you."

"How on earth did you get here, Tuppence?" murmured Tommy. "It's a miracle - an absolute miracle."

"It's not a miracle at all - just brains."

"Your brains, I suppose?"

"You suppose rightly. You and your uppish Mr Grant. I hope this will teach him a lesson."

"It certainly ought to," said Tommy. "Come on, Tuppence, tell me how you managed it. I'm simply devoured with curiosity."

"It was quite simple. The moment Grant talked of our Mr Carter I guessed what was up. I knew it wouldn't be just some miserable office job. But his manner showed me that I wasn't going to be allowed in on this. So I resolved to go one better. I went to fetch some sherry and, when I did, I nipped down to the Browns' flat and rang up Maureen. Told her to ring me up and what to say. She played up loyally - nice high squeaky voice - you could hear what she was saying all over the room. I did my stuff, registered annoyance, compulsion, distressed friend, and rushed off with every sign of vexation. Banged the hall door, carefully remaining inside it, and slipped into the bedroom and eased open the communicating door that's hidden by the tallboy."

"And you heard everything?"

"Everything," said Tuppence complacently.

Tommy said reproachfully:

"And you never let on."

"Certainly not. I wished to teach you a lesson. You and your Mr Grant."

"He's not exactly my Mr Grant and I should say you have taught him a lesson."

"Mr Carter wouldn't have treated me so shabbily," said Tuppence. "I don't think the Intelligence is anything like what it was in our day."

Tommy said gravely: "It will attain its former brilliance now we're back in it. But why Blenkensop?"

"Why not?"

"It seems such an odd name to choose."

"It was the first one I thought of and it's handy for underclothes."

"What do you mean, Tuppence?"

"B, you idiot. B for Beresford, B for Blenkensop. Embroidered on my cami-knickers. Patricia Blenkensop. Prudence Beresford. Why did you choose Meadowes? It's a silly name."

"To begin with," said Tommy, "I don't have large B's embroidered on my pants. And to continue, I didn't choose it. I was told to call myself Meadowes. Mr Meadowes is a gentleman with a respectable past - all of which I've learned by heart."

"Very nice," said Tuppence. "Are you married or single?"

"I'm a widower," said Tommy with dignity. "My wife died ten years ago at Singapore."

"Why at Singapore?"

"We've all got to die somewhere. What's wrong with Singapore?"

"Oh, nothing. It's probably a most suitable place to die. I'm a widow."

"Where did your husband die?"

"Does it matter? Probably in a nursing home. I rather fancy he died of cirrhosis of the liver."

"I see. A painful subject. And what about your son Douglas?"

"Douglas is in the Navy."

"So I heard last night."

"And I've got two other sons. Raymond is in the Air Force and Cyril, my baby, is in the Territorials."

"And suppose someone takes the trouble to check up on these imaginary Blenkensops?"

"They're not Blenkensops. Blenkensop was my second husband. My first husband's name was Hill. There are three pages of Hills in the telephone book. You couldn't check upon the Hills if you tried."

Tommy sighed.

"It's the old trouble with you, Tuppence. You will overdo things. Two husbands and three sons. It's too much. You'll contradict yourself over the details."

"No, I shan't. And I rather fancy the sons may come in useful. I'm not under orders, remember. I'm a free-lance. I'm in this to enjoy myself and I'm going to enjoy myself."

"So it seems," said Tommy. He added gloomily, "If you ask me, the whole thing's a farce."

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, you've been at Sans Souci longer than I have. Can you honestly say you think any one of those people who were there last night could be a dangerous enemy agent?"

Tuppence said thoughtfully:

"It does seem a little incredible, There's the young man, of course."

"Carl von Deinim? The police check up on refugees, don't they?"

"I suppose so. Still, it might be managed. He's an attractive young man, you know."

"Meaning, the girls will tell him things? But what girls? No Generals' or Admirals' daughters floating around here. Perhaps he walks out with a Company Commander in the A.T.S."

"Be quiet, Tommy. We ought to be taking this seriously."

"I am taking it seriously. It's just that I feel we're on a wild goose chase."

Tuppence said seriously:

"It's too early to say that. After all, nothing's going to be obvious about this business. What about Mrs Perenna?"

"Yes," said Tommy thoughtfully, "there's Mrs Perenna, I admit - she does want explaining."

Tuppence said in a business-like tone:

"What about us? I mean, how are we going to cooperate?"

Tommy said thoughtfully:

"We mustn't be seen about too much together."

"No, it would be fatal to suggest we know each other better than we appear to do. What we want to decide is the attitude. I think - yes, I think - pursuit is the best angle."

"Pursuit?"

"Exactly. I pursue you. You do your best to escape, but being a mere chivalrous male, don't always succeed. I've had two husbands and I'm on the look-out for a third. You act the part of the hunted widower. Every now and then I pin you down somewhere, pin you in a café, catch you walking on the front. Every one sniggers and thinks it very funny."

"Sounds feasible," agreed Tommy.

Tuppence said: "There's a kind of age-long humour about the chased male. That ought to stand us in good stead. If we are seen together, all any one will do is to snigger and say, 'Look at poor old Meadowes.'"