Dorothy Sayers - The Unpleasantness at the Bellona Club

He led the way into the small, austerely-furnished sitting room.

“Thought I might as well camp here for a bit, while I get the old man’s belongings settled up. It’s going to be a deuce of a job, though, with all this fuss about the will. However, I’m his executor, so all this part of it falls to me in any case. It’s very decent of you to lend us a hand. Queer old girl, Great-aunt Dormer. Meant well, you know, but made it damned awkward for everybody. How are you getting along?”

Wimsey explained the failure of his researches at the Bellona.

“Thought I’d better get a line on it at this end,” he added. “If we know exactly what time he left here in the morning, we ought to be able to get an idea of the time he got to the Club.”

Fentiman screwed his mouth into a whistle.

“But, my dear old egg, didn’t Murbles tell you the snag?”

“He told me nothing. Left me to get on with it. What is the snag?”

“Why, don’t you see, the old boy never came home that night.”

“Never came home? — Where was he, then?”

“Dunno. That’s the puzzle. All we know is… wait a minute, this is Woodward’s story; he’d better tell you himself. Woodward!”

“Yes, sir.”

“Tell Lord Peter Wimsey the story you told me — about that telephone-call, you know.”

“Yes, sir. About nine o’clock…”

“Just a moment,” said Wimsey, “I do like a story to begin at the beginning. Let’s start with the morning — the mornin’ of November 10th. Was the General all right that morning? Usual health and spirits and all that?”

“Entirely so, my lord. General Fentiman was accustomed to rise early, my lord, being a light sleeper, as was natural at his great age. He had his breakfast in bed at a quarter to eight — tea and buttered toast, with a hegg lightly boiled, as he did every day in the year. Then he got up, and I helped him to dress — that would be about half-past eight to nine, my lord. Then he took a little rest, after the exertion of dressing, and at a quarter to ten I fetched his hat, overcoat, muffler and stick, and saw him start off to walk to the Club. That was his daily routine. He seemed in very good spirits — and in his usual health. Of course, his heart was always frail, my lord, but he seemed no different from ordinary.”

“I see. And in the ordinary way he’d just sit at the Club all day and come home — when, exactly?”

“I was accustomed to have his evening meal ready for him at half-past seven precisely, my lord.”

“Did he always turn up to time?”

“Invariably so, my lord. Everything as regular as on parade. That was the General’s way. About three o’clock in the afternoon, there was a ring on the telephone. We had the telephone put in, my lord, on account of the General’s heart, so that we could always call up a medical man in case of emergency.”

“Very right, too,” put in Robert Fentiman.

“Yes, sir. General Fentiman was good enough to say, sir, he did not wish me to have the heavy responsibility of looking after him alone in case of illness. He was a very kind, thoughtful gentleman.” The man’s voice faltered.

“Just so,” said Wimsey. “I’m sure you must be very sorry to lose him, Woodward. Still, one couldn’t expect otherwise, you know. I’m sure you looked after him splendidly. What was it happened about three o’clock?”

“Why, my lord, they rang up from Lady Dormer’s to say as how her ladyship was very ill, and would General Fentiman please come at once if he wanted to see her alive. So I went down to the Club myself. I didn’t like to telephone, you see, because General Fentiman was a little hard of hearing — though he had his faculties wonderful well for a gentleman of his age — and he never liked the telephone. Besides, I was afraid of the shock it might be to him, seeing his heart was so weak — which, of course, at his age you couldn’t hardly expect otherwise — so that was why I went myself.”

“That was very considerate of you.”

“Thank you, my lord. Well, I see General Fentiman, and I give him the message — careful-like, and breaking it gently as you might say. I could see he was took aback a bit, but he just sits thinking for a few minutes, and then he says, ‘Very well, Woodward, I will go. It is certainly my duty to go.’ So I wraps him up careful, and gets him a taxi, and he says, ‘You needn’t come with me, Woodward. I don’t quite know how long I shall stay there. They will see that I get home quite safely.’ So I told the man where to take him and came back to the flat. And that, my lord, was the last time I see him.”

Wimsey made a sympathetic clucking sound.

“Yes, my lord. When General Fentiman didn’t return at his usual time, I thought he was maybe staying to dine at Lady Dormer’s, and took no notice of it. However, at half-past eight, I began to be afraid of the night-air for him; it was very cold that day, my lord, if you remember. At nine o’clock, I was just thinking of calling up the household at Lady Dormer’s to ask when he was to be expected home, when the ’phone rang.”

“At nine exactly?”

“About nine. It might have been a little later, but not more than a quarter-past at latest. It was a gentleman spoke to me. He said: ‘Is that General Fentiman’s flat?’ I said, ‘Yes, who is it, please?’ And he said, ‘Is that Woodward?’ giving my name, just like that. And I said ‘Yes.’ And he said, ‘Oh, Woodward, General Fentiman wishes me to tell you not to wait up for him, as he is spending the night with me.’ So I said, ‘Excuse me, sir, who is it speaking, please?’ And he said, ‘Mr. Oliver.’ So I asked him to repeat the name, not having heard it before, and he said ‘Oliver’—it came over very plain, ‘Mr. Oliver,’ he said, ‘I’m an old friend of General Fentiman’s, and he is staying to-night with me, as we have some business to talk over.’ So I said, ‘Does the General require anything, sir?’—thinking, you know, my lord, as he might wish to have his sleeping-suit and his tooth-brush or somethink of that, but the gentleman said no, he had got everything necessary and I was not to trouble myself. Well, of course, my lord, as I explained to Major Fentiman, I didn’t like to take upon myself to ask questions, being only in service, my lord; it might seem taking a liberty. But I was very much afraid of the excitement and staying up late being too much for the General, so I went so far as to say I hoped General Fentiman was in good health and not tiring of himself, and Mr. Oliver laughed and said he would take very good care of him and send him to bed straight away. And I was just about to make so bold as to ask him where he lived, when he rang off. And that was all I knew till I heard next day of the General being dead, my lord.”

“There now,” said Robert Fentiman. What do you think of that?”

“Odd,” said Wimsey, “and most unfortunate as it turns out. Did the General often stay out at night, Woodward?”

“Never, my lord. I don’t recollect such a thing happening once in five or six years. In the old days, perhaps, he’d visit friends occasionally, but not of late.”

“And you’d never heard of this Mr. Oliver?”

“No, my lord.”

“His voice wasn’t familiar?”

“I couldn’t say but what I might have heard it before, my lord, but I find it very difficult to recognise voices on the telephone. But I thought at the time it might be one of the gentlemen from the Club.”

“Do you know anything about the man, Fentiman?”

“Oh, yes — I’ve met him. At least, I suppose it’s the same man. But I know nothing about him. I fancy I ran across him once in some frightful crush or other, a public dinner, or something of that kind, and he said he knew my grandfather. And I’ve seen him lunching at Gatti’s and that sort of thing. But I haven’t the remotest idea where he lives or what he does.”