Aaron Elkins: Uneasy Relations

“It is an assumption, yes, but a reasonable one,” he said more quietly, “one that Chief Inspector Sotomayor goes along with. It was that Guadalcanal slip at the testimonial dinner that did it for Ivan. When Rowley realized that he could make that kind of gaffe in public – and remember, he was going to give a speech at Europa Point the next day – Ivan had to go. Rowley was worried sick he might do it again and the whole scam would come tumbling down.”

“No, no, no,” Corbin said. “If it was Ivan who perpetrated the fraud, what in the world did Rowley have to be so worried about? It simply doesn’t make sense. No.” His head rotated slowly, decisively, back and forth. “No, no, no. Sorry.”

That did it. The hell with their feelings. “What he was so worried about is what you’re all so worried about,” he shot back. “And I don’t think I have to tell you what that is.”

“Oh?” said Audrey coldly. “And just what would that be?”

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Julie pleadingly lift her hands a few inches off the table, palms outward, as if holding him back. Take it easy, now. Nevertheless, he was about to get himself in deeper when Pru intervened, coming valiantly to his defense. “What Rowley was so worried about, and what we’re all so worried about right now – including me – is that, when it gets out that the First Family was a sham, that Gibraltar Woman was a complete, unadulterated hoax – or rather, an adulterated one – we’re all going to look like a bunch of bumbling, gullible idiots – complete chumps. And it’s scaring the socks off us.”

“Well, now, I’d hardly say-” Corbin huffed.

“No, you wouldn’t say it,” Pru interrupted, “but that doesn’t make it any less true. We’ve all been dining off Europa Point for five years – books, lectures, cushy appointments – and the whole thing was nothing but a hoax, right from day one.” A tinge of bitterness had put a metallic edge on her voice. “We were clueless, that’s the whole truth of it. Ivan – the great, the generous Ivan – suckered us all, and we never knew what hit us.” She folded her arms and sat back, head down, glowering at the table.

“She’s right,” Audrey said softly into the silence that followed. “Ivan hoodwinked us. He made fools of us, and we let it happen because we wanted it to be true. And taking it out on Gideon,” she muttered, “isn’t going to help any. I think we owe him an apology.” She looked sharply around the table. “Or would you rather that he hadn’t discovered it?”

There were embarrassed murmurs of demurral and apology, and then a thoughtful, more receptive mood seemed to take hold. The tension evaporated.

“It has been the bane of science since time immemorial,” Adrian said sadly. “It has happened before, and it will happen again, because fidelity to truth is implicit in the scientist’s creed. And that makes us gullible, because there will always be charlatans, but in the end, archaeology, like any science, must rely on the integrity of its practitioners.”

Gideon and Julie couldn’t help exchanging a small, private smile at that, and then Audrey said, “Please continue, Gideon. Is there more?”

“Not much. When it turned out that Rowley had been at the right place at exactly the right time to steal the missing gelignite, Fausto had heard enough. And of course, when Rowley grabbed Audrey – and by the way, Audrey, if I haven’t said it before, you were magnificent.. .”

“Hear, hear,” said Adrian, and Audrey modestly bowed her head while Buck grinned proudly and rubbed her neck a little harder.

“Well, that sealed Rowley’s fate, and… I guess that’s it.”

There was a round of nodding and a few dejected sighs, after which Audrey and Buck were the first to rise, their paper clothes rustling. “Thank you, Gideon,” she said civilly in leaving, and within a few minutes the rest followed suit. Gideon and Julie were left alone at the table.

“That was tough,” Julie said. “You want another drink?”

“No. Yes.” He signaled the bartender, who brought him another Scotch and water, and a second glass of Riesling for Julie, although she hadn’t meant to order it.

“So I was right after all,” she mused with some satisfaction.

“About what?”

“About Rowley. Don’t you remember? I pointed out that he would have had the easiest time setting up the electrical stuff in the cave. But you maintained it couldn’t have been him because he was the one who warned you about it.”

“Well, yes, that’s all true, but at that point there was no way to know… I mean, it was only what we found out later… I mean, there was no way you could have…”

“Yes?” She was looking at him with her eyes wide and her chin resting on her clasped hands. “There was no way I could have…?”

“Okay,” he said, laughing. “I admit it, you were right after all. If only I’d listened.”

Along with the drinks came the total bar tab. Gideon looked at it. “Seventy-two pounds,” he said with a wince. “Ah, well, I guess I owe it to them. I sure spoiled their day.” He took a moody sip from his glass. “I didn’t do anything for mine either.”

“Oh, well,” Julie said, “look on the bright side.”

“You’re sure good at that,” he said with a smile. “Looking on the bright side. So tell me, what is it?”

“Well,” she said, her eyes twinkling, “looks to me as if you’ve gone and come up with the biggest scam since Piltdown Man after all.”

This aspect was not lost on Lester Rizzo, whom they ran into at the airport snack bar the next morning, waiting for their flight to London.

Lester wedged his ham and cheese sandwich and paper cup of coffee into one big hand so he could churn Gideon’s with the other. “Gideon, my man-”

“Lester, I’m really sorry I spoiled your party last night.”

Lester stared at him. “Are you kidding me? That was the best book launch in history. Outstanding! It’ll get picked up all over the world. It’ll put Javelin on the map. I mean, we’ll have to eat his stupid book, but what the hey, that’s life.”

“Well, you know, I do plan to put in a chapter on the whole affair in Bones to Pick, so that should-”

“Chapter? Screw ‘chapter.’ We’re gonna do a whole book on the thing. I already came up with the title. Ready?” He cleared his throat. “ Shame! – that’s shame with an exclamation point – Shame! Murder, Lies, and Skuldiggery in Gibraltar. And then under that: Bad to the Bone. Well, I’m not sure of that last part. It might be Science Gone Wrong instead. So what do you think?” He bit off a corner of the sandwich with an audible snap of his teeth and looked happily, expectantly, at them.

Julie spoke first. “I believe that’s ‘skull dug gery,’ isn’t it?”

“It’s a pun,” Lester explained. “Dig… archaeology… see?”

“Oh. Yes, I see.”

Lester was not pleased. “Well, what do you think, Gideon?”

“Umm…”

“And I already know who’s going to write it.”

“Oh? Who?” Gideon asked in all innocence.

“You, of course!” Lester said with a honk of a laugh. “The only thing is, we need to come out fast with this because there’s gonna be lots of competition, so I need the manuscript in three months. That’s not gonna be a problem, is it? I mean, you know more about it than anybody. Interested?”

“Uh, well, to tell the truth, Lester-”

Lester circled in closer. “I was figuring on doubling your last advance, ” he said conspiratorially.

“No, it’s not that. It’s just not something I-”

“Oh, gosh,” Julie said, “they just announced our flight for the second time. We’d better get going, Gideon.”