Simon Brett - An Amateur Corpse

Good God. The man broke into their house and stole their property and there they were leaning over backwards to defend him. ‘What’ll happen, Denis? Will he be up before Breckton magistrates in the morning?’

‘Yes. My solicitor’s going to ask for bail. We’ll be going down to give moral support. We’ve got to get him free as soon as possible.’

Mary agreed. ‘Otherwise it’s going to interfere dreadfully with Winter’s Tale rehearsals.’

Charles kept having to remind himself that these people were real when they came up with remarks like that. ‘And then straight on as before… Geoffrey rehearsing, no mention of the theft, coming back here for drinks after the Back Room closes.’

‘And why not? Geoffrey’s a friend.’ Mary’s constant repetition of this was like a child’s assertion that someone is ‘my best friend’. In children it is always symptomatic of insecurity and only heard from those who have difficulty in making real friends. And in adults too.

Charles found something infinitely pathetic about the Hobbs trying to buy friendship with a constant supply of free drinks and afraid to lose a friend even when he abused their trust so disgracefully.

Denis seemed to think Mary’s view of Geoffrey needed endorsement. ‘Oh, he’s a very lively bloke, Geoffrey. I don’t suppose you’ve ever seen him in full flood. Life and soul of the party. Always full of ideas for games and what-have-you. What was that thing he started here after the first night of The Seagull, love?’

Mary Hobbs giggled with the memory. ‘Oh yes, it was a great game. One of you goes out of the room and dresses up and then when they come back in, you all have to ask questions to find out who they’re meant to be. You know, you can be politicians or show biz people — or members of the Backstagers, if you like.’ She laughed again, a comfortable ‘in’ laugh. Her Backstagers’ identity was a vital support to her life. ‘Do you remember, I pretended to be. Reggie, the secretary?’

Denis guffawed at the recollection.

‘Actually he wasn’t very pleased, was he, Den?’

‘No, can’t take a joke, our Reggie.’

‘Did Geoffrey himself have to go?’ asked Charles.

‘Oh yes. He was a riot. He did Margaret Thatcher. He found a wig of mine and a smart overcoat and… oh, it was hysterical. He’d got the voice just right, hadn’t he, Den?’

Denis agreed on cue. ‘He was great. Oh, it was a great party, that. Charlotte — she looked really lovely that evening — wore this long check sort of smock thing.’

‘Yes, well, she’s dead,’ snapped Mary with unnecessary brutality. Denis recoiled as if struck. Mary hastened to paper over the rift. ‘Oh, it was a marvellous night. We had so much fun. Of course, Charlotte spent most of the evening with young Clive Steele.’

This seemed to be put in as another rebuff to her husband. His attraction to Charlotte must have been the subject of some marital tiff. She went on. ‘Such a clever boy, Clive. And so good-looking. You know, I think he had rather fallen for Charlotte. He certainly seems very cut up about her death.’

‘I suppose he’s only just heard,’ said Charles.

‘What do you mean?’

‘Well, he was away working all last week in Melton Mowbray, wasn’t he?’

‘Oh, no, apparently that was called off. No, Clive was here all last week.’

This time Clive Steele was at the Back Room bar when Charles went in. The young man greeted him patronizingly and graciously accepted the offer of a drink. ‘Don’t know why I bothered to turn up this evening. I get here to find the rehearsal’s off.’

‘Oh.’

‘Yes, we were meant to be doing all the Florizel/Perdita scenes tonight. But Vee Winter’s cried off. Apparently not well.’

Or too upset over her husband’s arrest to face anyone, Charles reflected. ‘You’re playing Florizel?’

‘Yes. Terribly drippy part. But I suppose I really am too young for Leontes,’ he conceded as if youth were the only possible bar to his being given the lead. ‘Still, it’s parts like Florizel that need real acting. It takes a bit of talent to make something of that kind of weed, so I suppose it’s quite a challenge.’

Charles saw a chance to move the conversation his way.

‘So, but for recent events, it would have been another Clive Steele/Charlotte Mecken partnership. Florizel and Perdita.’

‘Yes.’ Clive looked shaken, childishly near to tears. ‘Oh my God, it was terrible. For her to die — Charlotte who had so much to give — for her just to be strangled by that drunken brute.’

‘Hugo?’

‘Of course Hugo. You know why it was…?’ Clive leaned across to Charles confidingly. ‘Hugo was jealous.’

‘Oh yes. Of whom?’

‘Of me.’

‘You?’

‘Yes. It’s no secret that Charlotte and I got pretty close over The Seagull. There was a very strong mutual attraction. I think Hugo must have realized and killed her in a fit of jealousy.’

Charles was almost amused by the young man’s arrogant assurance. Are you saying you were having an affair with Charlotte?’

‘Ssh,’ Clive hissed loudly and waved his hand in a rubbing-out movement. ‘Don’t say a word about it here.’ His dramatic behaviour must have drawn the attention of everyone in the bar. Fortunately, for a moment there was no one there.

‘Well, were you?’

‘Not exactly. I mean, nothing had actually happened. You know, she had a few scruples and I didn’t want to rush things, but it was inevitable the way it would go. Only a matter of time.’

This seemed very much at odds with the state of the relationship which Charles had gathered from the conversation he overheard in the car park. He had surmised from that that Clive had misinterpreted Charlotte’s natural niceness as a come-on and that she was disillusioning him in no uncertain terms. But Clive seemed to have forgotten that encounter and retained his belief in his irresistible magnetism for her. Maybe, now she was dead, he found that a reassuring fiction to cling to. It flattered his ego and gave him an opportunity to feel tragic.

He was certainly putting on a performance of feeling tragic. ‘And now she’s dead — it’s awful. She was so young, so ripe for loving. I think love is for the young and beautiful.’ This was clearly a category in which he would include himself. ‘I mean, it was disgusting, the idea of Charlotte being groped by an old man. Someone like Hugo.’

Charles didn’t rise to the implied insult. He was a great believer in letting people ramble on when they were in spate. It was a much easier method than interrogation and often quite as informative.

‘Or Denis Hobbs,’ Clive continued.

‘Denis? Did he grope Charlotte?’

‘Well, he was always putting his arm round her, you know, casually, like it didn’t mean anything, but I got the feeling he was enjoying handling the goods.’

‘There was one night I remember — Wednesday before last it was, first night of The Seagull — we all went round to the Hobbses’ place. I think Denis must have been a bit pissed, but he certainly seemed to be after Charlotte.’

‘Oh.’

‘We’d all decided we wanted to play silly games and Denis kept saying we ought to play Postman’s Knock (which I should think is about his level), because that meant kissing people — and he made a sort of grab at Charlotte to demonstrate.’

‘But you didn’t play Postman’s Knock?’ Charles fed gently.

‘No, we played a much better game that Geoff Winter knew. Dressing up sort of thing. But Denis didn’t give up. I went upstairs with Geoff to sort out some dressing-up clothes and then I came down while he was changing — actually he got himself up as Margaret Thatcher, he was bloody marvellous — anyway, when I got down, there was Denis with his arm round Charlotte. He was pretending it was all casual again and she was sort of joking, but 1 don’t think she really liked it. And I’m damned sure Mary Hobbs didn’t like it. She came out into the hall at that moment and you should have seen the look she gave Denis.’