Simon Brett - An Amateur Corpse

‘Well, I don’t know. I suppose it may be possible for him to have visitors when he’s in Brixton. I’m not sure how soon — ’

‘No, I want to see him tomorrow.’

‘That’s impossible.’

‘Will you be seeing him?’

‘Yes, of course. As his solicitor, I’ll be in court and see him before he’s taken off to Brixton.’

‘Well, can’t I come along with you and be passed off as one of your outfit?’

‘One of my outfit?’ Gerald italicized the last word with distaste.

‘Yes, surely you have colleagues in your office, articled clerks and what have you. Pretend I’m one of them.’

‘Charles, do you realize what you’re saying? You are asking me to indulge in serious professional misconduct. Have you been drinking?’

‘Yes., of course I have. But that’s not the point. I am completely serious.’

‘Charles, I am also serious. This is an extremely serious matter. We are talking about a case of murder.’

‘What about the death of Willy Mariello? Wasn’t that a case of murder? You were keen enough to help me on that. Indeed, whenever I meet you, you get all schoolboyish and ask me when I’m going to get involved in another case and beg that I’ll let you know and work together with you on it.”

‘Yes, but that’s different.’

‘No, it isn’t. The only difference is that this case happens to be one in which you are already involved professionally. So far as I’m concerned, this is a case of murder which might well need investigation and, according to your frequently expressed desire, I am asking you if you will help me on it.’

Gerald was silent for a moment. When he spoke again, it was with less certitude. ‘But, Charles, this is a fairly open-and-shut case. I mean, I know I shouldn’t say this about a client, but it seems to me that there’s little doubt Hugo did it. It all fits in too neatly. And anyway the police wouldn’t have arrested and charged him so quickly if it hadn’t been pretty definite.’

‘Okay, I agree. It is most likely that Hugo murdered Charlotte. But I feel that so long as there’s even the vaguest alternative possibility, we should investigate it. Well, I should, anyway. Just for my peace of mind.’

What do you mean by an alternative possibility?’

‘Say an alibi. Suppose Hugo saw someone, talked to someone during that missing twenty-four hours…

‘But if he did, surely he would have told the police.’

‘Yes, probably. Look, I haven’t worked it all out yet, but I feel guilty about it and — ’

Gerald was continuing his own train of thought. ‘Anyway, we are only talking of a fairly short period for which he’d need an alibi. The preliminary medical report came in while I was down at the Breckton Police Station. They’ll get the full post-mortem results in a couple of days. It seems that when you discovered Charlotte’s body she’d already been dead for twenty-four hours.’

‘Good God. So she was killed on the Monday night.’

‘Yes. The police theory is that Hugo arrived back from the theatre club smashed out of his mind, had an argument with his wife — possibly over sexual matters — and then… well, strangled her and hid the body. It fits. He’d had a hell of a lot to drink.’

‘I see. And I suppose the theory is that he continued drinking through the Tuesday to get over the shock.’

‘Something like that, yes.’

‘Hmm. This makes it even more imperative that I see Hugo.’

‘Charles, I have a professional reputation to — ’

‘Oh, stuff that, Gerald. For God’s sake. You’re always complaining to me how bloody boring your work is, how sick you get of fiddling about with theatrical contracts all day, how you wish you could get involved in something really exciting like a murder. Well, here’s one right in your in-tray

‘Yes, and it’s just because it’s there that I have to treat it with professional propriety.’

‘Gerald, stop being so bloody pompous. I’ve got to see Hugo. Look, there’s hardly any risk involved. Okay, so you’ve got a new Mr. Paris on your staff. No one knows you down in Breckton. No one’s going to check.’

‘Well…’ wavering.

Press home advantage. ‘Come on, Gerald. Live a little. Take a risk. Being a solicitor is the business of seeing how far laws can bend — why not test this one out?’

‘I’m not sure.’

‘Look, you’re nearly fifty, Gerald. I don’t believe you’ve ever taken a risk in you life. Even the shows you put money into are all box office certainties. Just try this. Come on, I’ll be the one who gets clobbered if anything goes wrong. But nothing will, anyway. Go on, what do you say?’

‘Well… Look, if I do agree, and if you do find out there’s anything to be investigated, you will keep me in the picture, won’t you?’

‘Of course.’

There was a long pause. The pay-tone on the phone beeped insistently. Charles crammed in his last 10p. By the time the line was clear, Gerald had reached his decision.

‘Okay, buster. We give it a whirl, huh?’

It was going to be all right. When Gerald started talking like a fifties thriller, he was getting interested in a case.

‘But one thing, Charles…’

‘Yes.’

‘People’ who work in my office tend to look extremely smart and well-groomed. So will you see to it, that you are wearing a suit, that you’ve shaved and that you’ve brushed your hair? I don’t want you rolling up in your usual guise of an out-of-work gamekeeper who’s just spent a long night with Lady Chatterley.’

‘Don’t worry, Gerald. I’ll look as smooth as you do.’

Gerald was grudging. ‘Well, I suppose it’ll do.’

‘What do you mean — do?’ Charles was aggrieved. He had spent the journey down to Breckton in vivid fantasies of Charles Paris, the legal whiz-kid. As an actor, he could never escape being dictated to by his costumes.

‘Never mind. I suppose there are scruffy solicitors,’ Gerald conceded.

‘Scruffy? I’ll have you know, in 1965, this suit was considered daringly trendy.’

‘Yes, maybe, but one or two things have changed since 1965. In fact, most things have.’

‘Except the British legal system, which hasn’t changed since 1865.’

Gerald ignored the gibe. He looked preoccupied. ‘Charles, I’ve been thinking about this business. As a solicitor, I will be taking a risk which is really unjustifiable. In the sense — ’

‘It’s decided. I’ve got to see Hugo.’

‘You’ll have to give your name when we enter the court. If there ever is any follow-up — ’

‘Let’s assume there isn’t. Come on, Gerald, where’s your spirit of adventure?’

‘Currently hiding behind my fear of being struck off for professional misconduct.’

They entered the Magistrates’ Court building. Mr. Venables and his colleague from the office, Mr. Paris, checked in and were directed to the relevant court. They sidled on to a solicitors’ bench on which the profession was represented by every level of sartorial elegance,

‘That suit on the end’s a darned sight older than mine,’ Charles hissed. ‘Looks like it escaped from a Chicago gangster movie.’

Gerald switched hips off with a look. Charles scanned the courtroom. It all seemed a bit lethargic, like a rehearsal where some of the principal actors were missing and their lines were being read in. The court was as empty as a summer matinee. And as in a theatre, where the audience is scattered in little groups, he was more conscious of the comings and goings in his immediate vicinity than of the main action taking place between the magistrates’ dais and the dock. Solicitors shuffled in and out, reading long sheets of paper to themselves in states of bored abstraction.