Rex Stout: Black Orchids

He started after her. He kept it polite and friendly, but he went at her from every angle and direction. And for the second time that night he got the can sent back empty by a juvenile female. After a solid hour of it he didn’t have even a hint of what it was she was keeping tucked away under her hair, whether it was a suspicion or a fact or a deduction she had made from a set of circumstances. Neither did I. But she was sitting on some kind of lid, and she was smart enough to see that Wolfe knew it and was trying to jostle her off.

It was half past one when Fred Updegraff looked at his watch and stood up again and said it was late and he would take Miss Tracy home.

Wolfe shook his head. “She’s exhausted and it’s twenty-five miles and there are no trains. She can sleep here. I want to speak to her in the morning before she goes to the District Attorney’s office. Archie, will you please see that the north room is in order?”

That meant my room and my bed. Anne started to protest, but not with much spirit, and I went and got Fritz and took him upstairs with me to help change sheets and towels. As I selected a pajama suit for her from the drawer, tan with brown stripes, and put it on the turned down sheet, I reflected that things were moving pretty fast, considering that it was less than ten hours since she had first spoken to me and we never had actually been introduced. Fritz took my sheets and pillow and a blanket downstairs and I went up one flight to the plant rooms and cut three black orchids, one from each plant, and returned and put them in a vase on the bed table. Hewitt had given her one.

On my way downstairs I stopped at the door to the south room and listened. No sound. I tried the door; it was bolted on the inside. I knocked, not very loud. Rose’s voice came:

“Who is it?”

“Clark Gable,” I called. “Good night, Ruby.”

In the lower hall I met Anne coming out of the office, escorted by Fritz. I suppose it would have been more genteel to take her up myself, but it would have been a temptation to get sentimental there among my own furniture, so I told her good night and let her go. In the office Wolfe was alone, in his chair with his arms folded and his chin down; evidently Fred had departed. I began taking cushions from the couch and tossing them into a corner, getting ready to fix my bed.

“Two of them,” Wolfe growled.

“Two of what?”

“Women. Nannygoats.”

“Not Anne. She’s more like a doe. More like a gazelle.”

“Bah.”

“More like a swan.” I flipped a sheet over the couch and tucked it in. “I put three black orchids at her bedside. One from each plant.”

“I told Theodore to put them in the fumigating room.”

“He did. That’s where I found them.” I spread the blanket. “I thought we might as well get all the pleasure we can put out of them before they’re returned to Hewitt.”

“They’re not going to be returned.”

“Oh, I expect they are.” I hung my coat and vest over a chair and sat down to take off my shoes. “It seems a pity. Two girls up there in bed, and if you knew what they know, or probably what either one of them knows, you’d have it sewed up. Rose actually saw the murderer set the trap. I don’t know what Anne saw or heard, but she sure does. It’s a darned shame. With all your finesse...” I got my pants off. “...all your extraordinary gifts...” I removed my shirt. “...all your acknowledged genius, your supreme talent in the art of inquest...”

He got up and stalked from the room without a word. I called a cheery good night after him but heard no reply, and after performing a few bedtime chores such as bolting the front door, I laid me down to sleep.

I overdid it. With the house full of company, I intended to be up and about bright and early, but when something jangled my brain alive and I realized it was the phone ringing, I opened my eyes and glanced at my wrist and saw it was after eight o’clock. It was Saul Panzer on the phone calling from Salamanca. I put him through to Wolfe’s room and was told by Wolfe that no record would be required, which was his polite way of telling me to hang up, so I did. A trip to Fritz in the kitchen got me the information that Wolfe already had his breakfast tray, and so did Anne and Rose. I washed and dressed in a hurry, returned to the kitchen for my morning refreshment of grapefruit, ham and eggs, muffins and coffee, and was finishing my second cup when the doorbell rang. Fritz was upstairs at the moment, so I went for it, and through the glass panel saw it was Inspector Cramer, unattended.

The situation had aspects. Rose might come trotting downstairs any minute, and if she chose the minute that Cramer was in the hall, that would be the last we would see of Rose. But any delay in opening up would make Cramer suspicious. I swung the door open.

“Law and order forever,” I said cordially. “Come in.”

“Nuts,” he said, entering.

So for that incivility I let him hang up his hat and coat himself. By the time he had done that I had the door closed and was on the other side of him. He screwed up his face at me and demanded:

“Where is she?”

I grinned to the best of my ability. “Now wait a minute,” I said in a grieved tone. “I’ve been up less than an hour and my brain’s not warmed up. In the first place, how could I know she was married? In the second—”

He made a noise and moved. I moved, sort of backward. The maneuver ended with me covering the foot of the stairs, which was across the hall from the door to the office, and him pressing forward without actually touching me. There I stopped and he had to.

“I’m going up to see Wolfe,” he said as if he meant it. “I am aware that he spends the morning with his goddamn posies and refuses to come down before eleven o’clock. So I’m going up. Stand aside.”

He moved again and we made contact (noun), but I merely held it. “This,” I said, “is pretty damn silly. I didn’t have to let you in and you know it, but I did. What do you think this is, the den of the White Slave King? This is Nero Wolfe’s home, and there’s his office where he receives callers, and for last year his income tax was eleven thousand four hundred and twelve dollars and eighty-three cents and he paid it last week. Do you remember what happened the time Purley took me down and charged me with interfering with an officer in the performance of his duty? Wasn’t that a picnic?”

He swung on his heel and tramped into the office. I followed, and shut the door, and stayed between him and it until he had sat down. Then, knowing I could move at least twice as fast as he could, I went to my desk.

“Now,” I inquired pleasantly, “where is who?”

He regarded me with a mean eye. “Last night,” he said, “one of Wolfe’s men took Anne Tracy from her home in Richdale. My man covering the house recognized him and phoned in. I had a man out front when they arrived here. Your man soon left, and so did the Updegraff boy, later, but she hasn’t left up to now. Where is she?”

So our little Rose was still safe. I locked my relief in my breast and looked crestfallen.

“I guess it’s your trick, Inspector,” I admitted. “Miss Tracy is upstairs in my bed. She spent the night there.”

He got red. He’s a terrible prude. “See here, Goodwin—”

“No no no no,” I said hastily. “Rinse your mind out. I slept here on the couch. And I doubt if she’s in my bed at that, because she’s probably up and dressed. She has a date at the D.A.’s office at ten o’clock, and it’s nine thirty now.”

“Then you admit she’s here.”

“Admit it? I’m proud of it.”

“Where is she, up with Wolfe?”

“I don’t know. I got up late. I just finished breakfast.”