David Wishart - Bodies Politic

He was lifting a wax tablet out of his in-tray. When he saw me he froze.

‘Oh, fuck,’ he said quietly. ‘Not again.’

‘Hi, Crispus.’ I shut the door behind me, walked over to his desk, pulled up a chair and sat down. ‘Long time no see.’

‘It’s only been a month, you bastard.’

‘Two months and four days. I counted.’ I gave him my best smile. ‘Doesn’t time fly?’

‘Too bloody fast, in your case. So what is it now, Corvinus? More about the imperials? Because if so I’ve already given you all you’re going to get, even with the emperor’s backing. And I’m still not certain that you’ve got that.’

‘I swore, didn’t I? I’ll do it again, if you like.’

He waved an irritated hand. ‘No, no. Forget it. I trust you. In a manner of speaking.’ The piggy eyes narrowed. ‘You’re sunburned. You been away?’

‘Alexandria. We’ve just got back.’

‘ A round trip in two months? Jupiter! You can’t’ve had much -’ He stopped. ‘It had something to do with the case you’re on, didn’t it?’

‘Yeah.’ I crossed my legs and leaned back. ‘To answer your question, though. About what I want. Jews.’

‘How do you mean, “Jews”?’

‘The name of a very senior civil servant, probably a Greek, who doesn’t like them. Has something against them. Whatever.’

Crispus laughed and relaxed. ‘Is that all? Easy, and no secret, either. Tiberius Claudius Helicon.’

I sat forward again. Gods! ‘One name? Just the one? It’s that obvious?’

‘Sure it is. Plenty of Alexandrian Greeks in the civil service who don’t like the Jews, but you said “very senior”, and you don’t get much more senior than Helicon.’

‘He’s Alexandrian himself?’

‘Originally. He was one of the Wart’s slaves, like most of the top-brass secretariat’ – yeah; Etruscus must’ve been, too, from the shared part of their names – ‘but he was freed five or six years back. Now he’s one of Gaius’s closest cronies. They play ball together. Literally, work out in the gym every day with half a dozen other kindred spirits.’

Shit. ‘What does he have against the Jews? Specifically, I mean?’

Crispus shrugged. ‘Nothing particular I know of. But he’s an Alexandrian. If you’ve just been there you’ll know what that means.’

Yeah, I did, and it was a fair point: being an Alexandrian Greek, he wouldn’t need a specific reason. ‘What’s he like? In himself, I mean?’

‘Clever bugger, too smart for his own good. Thinks a lot of himself and not very much of anyone else. A troublemaker for the fun of it. I’d sum him up’ – Crispus smiled – ‘as a malicious, objectionable shit.’

Very concise and pungent, and it fitted. I reckoned I’d got my X. ‘Right. So how can I meet him? Unofficially and accidentally, of course.’

The smile disappeared. ‘Come on, Corvinus! Information I don’t mind, but I don’t do introductions. Especially to bosom buddies of the emperor. Especially to one who’s not going to thank me in the end for getting involved, which reading between the lines and knowing you he fucking isn’t.’

‘Crispus!’ I spread my hands. ‘It’s no big deal. I’m not asking for a letter with your name on it here. Just point me in the right direction, no comeback, I swear. You can do it, I know you can.’

He fizzed for a minute or so. Then he said: ‘You’re sure you have the emperor’s blessing?’

‘Carte blanche. I told you. And it’s important, maybe even vital. I’ll swear that too, if you like.’

‘Okay. It so happens he’s having a birthday bash in five days’ time. A big one, at his house on the Esquiline. You’d have to gatecrash, sure, but half of Rome’ll be there. That’s the best I can do; past that you’re on your own. Now clear out, I’m busy.’

‘I was going to ask you about Cornelius Lentulus Gaetulicus.’

He purpled. ‘ Out! ’

I grinned and stood up. Yeah, well, maybe I was pushing it. And I’d got a better source for info on Gaetulicus in any case, at least where the military side of things was concerned, and that was the place to start. I could always come back if something suggested itself, and I needed to keep Crispus sweet. If that wasn’t an oxymoron.

‘Okay, pal,’ I said. ‘Another time, maybe.’

‘Not unless hell freezes first.’

Well, he didn’t mean it. Not really. ‘Thanks, friend,’ I said, heading for the door. ‘I’ll see you around.’

‘Bugger off.’

I wasn’t doing too badly here: only three days back in Rome and I’d cracked the Alexandrian side of the case. Potentially at least. How I was going to handle the Helicon aspect of things I didn’t know, but just having a name for X was a huge start, and it couldn’t hurt at least to see the guy personally close up. When I gatecrashed his birthday party – as I would – I’d take Perilla with me. That lady is a born gatecrasher.

Fine. Now over to the Palatine, and Gaius Secundus.

Secundus was one of my oldest friends, well pre-Perilla and almost back into childhood. He’d been all set for a professional military career until an accident right at the start of it had shattered his leg and made that impossible, so he’d taken the civilian political route instead, ending up five years before at city judge level. Even so, the Eagles were in his blood, and when that appointment had expired he’d moved over to the imperial side and bagged a high-powered desk job in military admin. Which was where he now was. We split a jug between us, now and then, when our paths crossed, and although he wasn’t the brightest button in the bag he was a very nice guy and about the best friend I had in Rome.

Fortunately, the military offices weren’t in Augustus House, where I really didn’t want to go. I gave my name to one of the clerks and kicked my heels for two or three minutes; after which Secundus himself came down the stairs to meet me.

‘Hey, Marcus!’ he said, clapping me on the shoulder. ‘How’s the boy? You’re looking bronzed.’

‘Yeah,’ I said. ‘Sea trip. We’re just back from Alexandria.’

‘That so, now?’ He grinned. ‘Have a nice time?’

‘It was okay. How’s Gemella?’ Furia Gemella was Secundus’s wife, a hot little number with a penchant for fancy earrings.’

‘We’re divorced. As of last month.’

Oops. ‘I’m sorry, pal.’

‘Don’t be. We never really fitted, us two, and when she took up with a finance officer we met in Baiae three months ago that was that. Mind you, the fact that I’d got very friendly with the finance officer’s wife at the same time helped things along a bit.’

‘Ah…right. Right,’ I said. Well, he’d always been popular with the ladies, Gaius Secundus, and I’d found Gemella wearing myself. Maybe it was for the best.

‘How’s Perilla?’

‘Blooming. And Marilla’s getting married at the end of next month.’

‘Yeah? To the doctor’s kid? That’s great.’ He took my arm and led me towards the exit. ‘I’ll assume this isn’t some sort of official visit and the idea’s a wineshop, right?’

‘Sure. If you’ve got the time.’

‘The empire can run itself for a couple of hours. If the Parthians invade my secretary’ll come and haul me out. Tasso’s?’

It was the closest, at the foot of the Palatine on the Market Square side. Not my favourite place, but they served a decent Massic. ‘Suits me.’

‘My round.’

‘Mine,’ I said. ‘I need some information.’

‘Again? This in connection with one of your cases?’

‘Could be,’ I said cautiously. ‘Only I’ll tell you now, Gaius, it might be sensitive.’ He was a friend: I needed to be up-front here from the start. ‘You want to tell me to push off, now or at any point later, you just say so, all right? I mean it.’