David Wishart - Foreign Bodies

‘ Marcus! ’

‘Well, even so. He couldn’t’ve used anywhere all that big or well-known, because that would’ve increased the chances of what actually did happen happening: that sooner or later he’d run up against someone who should’ve recognized him as a fellow townsman but didn’t. While if he was fronting for the Brits, which he was and is, choosing a place on that side of the country would’ve been too much of a risk if he did come under suspicion. Somewhere reasonably small, in the far south or south-west, comparatively out in the sticks and a good few hundred miles from the Gallic Strait, would’ve been perfect.’

‘So what are you going to do now?’

‘See Balbinus, first thing tomorrow morning. Shop the bastard. That side of things isn’t my concern, or not directly: it’s political. Let Balbinus handle it.’

Which wasn’t, in the event, how things turned out. But then, I wasn’t to know that at the time, was I?

‘First thing’ was a bit of an overstatement: there wasn’t much point in making too early a visit to the government offices, because civil provincial admin in a relatively laid-back town like Augusta didn’t kick in until the start of the second hour, and Balbinus himself, conscientious though he was, probably wouldn’t turn up until the sun was a little further along its curve; while things being as hush-hush as they were I couldn’t blow the whistle on Sulinus to anyone barring the guy in person. So I had a leisurely breakfast and set out on the short walk to the government admin building just shy of the third.

‘Saenius Balbinus, pal,’ I said to the clerk on the desk. ‘He in yet?’

‘No, sir. Nor likely to be, I’m afraid, not immediately. He had some business outside town to look after. Was it urgent?’

Damn. ‘Yeah, it was, as a matter of fact,’ I said. ‘You know when he’ll be back? Or where I can find him?’

‘I’m afraid not, Valerius Corvinus. He didn’t say. He won’t be in this morning, certainly, although you can try again in the afternoon. Was there a message I could give? Or perhaps I can help you myself?’

‘No, that’s fine. And no message as such. Just say that I have to see him urgently.’ I was turning to go before I thought again. ‘Scratch that. Tell him I know now who X is.’

The clerk’s brow furrowed. ‘X, sir?’

‘Yeah. He’ll understand. Exactly those words, right?’ And if I wanted to stress the importance of the meeting, then they would do the trick in spades. ‘I’ll call again after midday.’

‘Very good, sir.’

So. Not back to the residence; I didn’t fancy sitting twiddling my thumbs for another three or four hours, and Perilla would no doubt be out gallivanting somewhere or other. Maybe the market square and a second shave, just to say I’d tried the Gaulish version. Or maybe even, given the lady was a bit more relaxed now on the subject, a cup of wine in one of the wineshops I hadn’t had the opportunity of trying.

I set off down the main drag.

I’d almost reached the square when I spotted a familiar figure ahead. Segomarus.

‘Valerius Corvinus!’ he said when we’d closed the gap. ‘Just the man! I was on my way to see you.’

‘Yeah?’ I was cautious. ‘What about?’

‘Come on! We had a deal, remember? The Cabiri family background? You owe me a jug of wine.’

Oh. Right. Gods, this business of the three local murders, not to mention saving Claudius’s invasion plans for Britain, had practically put the original case out of my head.

‘You’ve found someone who knew them before they left Augusta for Lugdunum and who’s willing to talk?’ I said.

‘As ever is. A guy by the name of Publius Auctionus. He’s not a local, as it happens, which is probably why; retired auxiliary from one of the Tungrian cohorts, been settled here since the God Augustus was in rompers. He looks as old as Tithonus and he’s half gaga, but there’s nothing wrong with his memory. I said you’d trade him a gold piece for the information. That OK?’

‘No problem.’ I was frowning. It all sounded plausible, right enough, and we’d ruled Segomarus out of the running for a potential bad-’un, but I still didn’t quite trust the guy. There was something there, all right; I just couldn’t quite put my finger on it, let alone justify the feeling in the first place. I’d have to play along, sure – the chance of clearing up the Cabirus side of things was much too good to miss, and it looked like this Auctionus was the best shot I’d get at it – but I’d go cautious. ‘Look, Segus, I’m pretty busy at the moment. We can see him tomorrow.’

Segomarus grinned. ‘The state he’s in, he could be dead by then. Besides, he’s practically in the next street from here. Come on! It shouldn’t take all that long, and you can’t be that busy.’

‘Fair enough,’ I said. ‘Lead on.’

He did.

‘Next street’ was pushing things a bit, although not by much; it wasn’t any more than a couple of hundred yards, albeit two hundred yards off the main drag. Augusta doesn’t do slum tenements – there’s too much open space within the town limits unbuilt on for that – but the house we eventually stopped at was the one-storey equivalent, put together, by the look of it, from whatever the original builders had to hand, which wasn’t, in constructional terms, very much; the place looked like one good puff of wind would return it to its basic components. I knocked at the door.

‘No point in that, Corvinus,’ Segomarus said. ‘The old boy’s bedridden, in the room at the back. Just go straight in. He’s expecting us.’

I did. After the sunlight of the street, the hallway was dark as hell. I waited for my eyes to get accustomed to the dimness …

… at which point something smacked me hard behind the ear, and what light there was went out altogether.

When I woke up, I was securely tied to a chair by my wrists and ankles, and my head felt twice its size, with Vulcan using it for an anvil. Segomarus was leaning against the far wall, watching me.

‘What the hell’s going on?’ I said. Slurred.

‘You’ll see in a moment.’ He walked towards the open door and put his head round the jamb. ‘That’s him awake now.’

Sulinus came in. Followed by Julia Optima.

I goggled. ‘What the fuck-!’

Sulinus tutted. ‘Now, now. Ladies present.’ Optima smiled and took his arm. ‘You’re surprised? Don’t be; Optima and I have been lovers practically since I began coming here. And in case you’re wondering the choice to begin an affair was hers, as indeed was her choice of sides, made practically at the same time. So don’t form any conclusions involving the innocent little woman led astray by the wicked seducer, will you?’

‘We’re not Romans, Corvinus,’ Optima said. ‘There are women on the other side of the Gallic Strait who rule their tribes just as efficiently as men, and are equally respected for it. They lead them in battle, too.’ She smiled. ‘Not that I’ve any intention of doing that, you understand. It’s far too dangerous.’

I ignored her.

‘Look,’ I said to Sulinus. ‘You’re not a Roman citizen, right? So when the authorities get you for this, which they will, they will literally nail you to a fucking plank and leave you to hang. Just so we’re clear on that point.’

He chuckled. ‘Oh, I don’t think you’ll be in any position to arrange my execution, Corvinus. You’re a dead man walking yourself. Or sitting, rather, to be accurate. And you’re perfectly right; if you were found too obviously murdered like the others – a Roman purple-striper and the emperor’s personally accredited representative – there would be hell to pay. One of the two reasons that you’re still alive now – and it’s purely temporary – is that we want to make your death look like an accident.’