Ellis Peters - The Confession of Brother Haluin

Cenred was slow to turn his mind from his hospitable duty towards his guest to an apparently small domestic problem, surely the women’s business rather than his.

“Why, Edgytha may surely go out if she so chooses,” he said good-humoredly,” and will come back when she chooses no less. She’s a free woman, knows her own mind, and can be trusted to mind her duties. If she’s once missing when she’s called for, that’s no great matter. Why should you worry over it?”

“But when does she ever do so without saying? Never! And now it’s snowing again, and she’s been gone four hours or more, if Madlyn says true. How if she’s come to harm? She would not stay away so long of her own will. And you know how I value her. I would not for the world that any harm should come to her.”

“No more would I,” said Cenred warmly, “nor to any of my people. If she’s gone astray we’ll look for her. But no need to fret before we know of any mishap. Here, girl, speak up, what is it you know of the matter? You say she went out some hours ago?”

“Sir, so she did!” Madlyn came forward willingly, wide-eyed with half-pleasurable excitement. “It was after we’d made all ready. I was coming in from the dairy, and I saw her come forth from the kitchen with her cloak about her, and I said to her that this was like to be a busy night, and she’d be missed, and she said she would be back before she was called for. It was just beginning to get dark then. I never thought she’d be gone so long.”

“And did you not ask her where she was going?” demanded Cenred.

“I did,” said the girl, “though it was little enough she was ever likely to tell about her own business, and I should have known she’d make a sour answer if she made any at all. But there’s no sense to be made of it. She said she was going to find a cat,” said Madlyn in baffled innocence, “to put among the pigeons.”

If it meant nothing to her, it had meaning for Cenred and for his wife, who plainly heard it now for the first time. Emma’s startled gaze flew to her husband’s face as he came abruptly to.his feet. The look they exchanged Cadfael could read as if he had the words ringing in his ears. He had been given clues enough to make the reading easy. Edgytha was nurse to them both, indulged them, loved them like her own, resents even their separation, whatever the church and the ties of blood may say, and much more this marriage that makes the separation final. She is gone to enlist help to prevent what she deplores, even at this last moment. She is gone to tell Roscelin what is being done behind his back. She is gone to Elford.

None of which could be said aloud, here in front of Jean de Perronet, who stood now at Cenred’s side, looking from face to face round the circle, puzzled and sympathetic in a domestic trouble which was none of his business. An old servant gone missing in the evening, with night coming on and snow falling, called for at least a token search. He made the suggestion ingenuously, filling a silence which at any moment might have caused him to look more narrowly at what was happening here.

“Should we not look for her, if she’s been gone so long? The ways are not always safe at night, and for a woman venturing alone... “

The diversion came as a blessing, and Cenred seized on it gratefully. “So we will. I’ll send out a party by the most likely way. It may be she’s only been delayed by the snow, if she intended a visit in the village. But this need not give you any concern, Jean. I would not wish your stay to be marred. Leave this matter to my men, we have enough in the household. And rest assured she cannot be far, we shall soon find her and see her safe home.”

“I will gladly come out with you,” de Perronet offered.

“No, no, I will not have it. Let all things here go as we have planned them, and nothing spoil the occasion. Use my house as your own, and take your night’s rest with a quiet mind, for tomorrow this small flurry will be over and done.”

It was not difficult to persuade the helpful guest to abandon his generous intention. Perhaps it had been made only as a courteous gesture. A man’s household affairs are his, and best left to him. It is civil to offer help, but wise to give way gracefully. Cenred knew very well now where Edgytha had set out to go, there would be no question of which road to take in hunting for her. Moreover, there was some genuine call for concern, for in four hours she could have been there and back even in snow. Cenred quit his supper table purposefully, driving the men of his following before him to muster within the hall door. He bade de Perronet an emphatic good-night, which was accepted plainly as dismissal even from this domestic conference, and issued brisk orders to those of his servants whom he chose to go with the search party, six of the young and vigorous and his steward with them.

“What must we do?” Brother Haluin wondered half aloud, standing with Cadfael a little apart.

“You,” said Cadfael, “must go to your bed, like a sensible man, and sleep if you can. And a prayer or two will not come amiss. I am going with them.”

“Along the nearest road to Elford,” said Haluin heavily.

“To find a cat to put among the pigeons. Yes, where else? But you stay here. There is nothing you could do or say, if there has to be speech, that I cannot.”

The hall door was opened, the party tramped down the steps into the courtyard, two of them carrying torches. Cadfael, following last, looked out upon a glittering, frosty night. The ground was covered but meagerly, small, needle-sharp flakes out of an almost clear sky, brittle with stars and too cold for a heavy fall. He looked back from the doorway, and saw the women of the house, gentlefolk and servants alike, drawn together in mutual uneasiness in the far corner of the hall, all eyes following their departing menfolk, the maids huddling close, Emma with her smooth, gentle face wrung in distress, and pulling nervously at her plump fingers.

And Helisende standing a pace apart, the only one not clinging to her kind for comfort. She was far enough back from one of the sconces for the torchlight to show her face fully, without exaggerated shadows. All that Emma had reported to her husband, all that Madlyn had told, Helisende surely knew now. She knew where Edgytha was gone, she knew for what purpose. She was staring wide-eyed into a future she could no longer foretell, where the results of this night’s work hid themselves in bewilderment and dismay and possible catastrophe. She had prepared herself for a willing sacrifice, but she found herself utterly unprepared for whatever threatened now. Her face seemed as still and composed as ever, yet it had lost all its calm and certainty, her resolution had become helplessness, and her resignation changed to desperation. She had arrived at an embattled ground she believed she could hold, at whatever cost to herself, and now that ground shook and parted under her feet, and she was no longer in control of her own fate. The image of her shattered gallantry, disarmed and vulnerable, was the last glimpse Cadfael carried out with him into the darkness and the frost.

Cenred drew his cloak close about his face against the wind, and set out from the gate of the manor on a path that was strange to Cadfael. With Haluin he had turned in from the distant highway, straight towards the gleam of light from the manor torches, but this way slanted back to strike the road much nearer to Elford, and would probably cut off at least half a mile of the distance. The night had its own lambent light, partly from the stars, partly from the thin covering of snow, so that they were able to go quickly, spread out in a line centered upon the path. The country here was open, at first bare of trees, then threading a belt of woods and scrubland. They heard nothing but their own footsteps and breath, and the soft whining of the wind among the bushes. Twice Cenred halted them to have silence, and called aloud to the night, but got no answer.