К Сэнсом - Revelation

‘Will you sit, sir?’ Tamasin indicated a chair at the table. ‘May I take your coat? I am afraid Jack is out.’

‘I will keep it. I – er – will not be long.’ In truth it was so cold in the fireless apartment that I did not want to remove it. I sat and took a proper look at Tamasin. She was a very pretty young woman, still in her early twenties, with high cheekbones, wide blue eyes and a full mouth. Before her marriage she had taken pride in dressing as well as her purse would allow; perhaps a little better. But now she wore a shapeless grey dress with a threadbare white apron over it, and her blonde hair was swept under a large, white housewife coif. She smiled at me cheerfully but I saw how her shoulders were slumped, her eyes dull.

‘It has been a long time since I saw you, sir,’ she said.

‘Near six months. How are you faring, Tamasin?’

‘Oh, well enough. I am sorry Jack is not here.’

‘No matter. I was passing on my way from taking a friend to consult Dr Malton.’

‘Would you like a cup of beer, sir?’

‘I would, Tamasin. But perhaps I should go …’ I was breaking the proprieties in being with her alone.

‘No, sir, stay,’ she said. ‘We are old friends, are we not?’

‘I hope so.’

‘I should like a little company.’ She went and poured some beer from a jug on the dresser and brought it over, taking a stool opposite me. ‘Was Dr Malton able to help your friend?’

I took a draught of the beer, which was pleasantly strong. ‘Yes. He had taken to falling over without warning, he thought he was taking the falling sickness, but it turns out he only has something amiss with his foot.’

Tamasin smiled, something like her old warm smile. ‘I should think he is mightily relieved.’

‘He is. I imagine when he gets home he will be dancing round his lodgings, bad foot and all.’

‘Dr Malton is a good man. I believe he saved you when you had that fever the winter before last.’

‘Yes. I think he did.’

‘But he could not help my poor little Georgie.’

‘I know.’

She stared at an empty spot against the far wall. ‘He was born dead, laid dead in his little cot over there that we had made.’ She turned to me, her eyes full of pain. ‘Afterwards I did not want Jack to take the crib away, it was as though some part of Georgie remained while it was there. But he hated the reminder.’

‘I am sorry I did not come to see you after the baby died, Tamasin. I wanted to, but Jack said you were both better alone.’

‘I used to get upset a lot. Jack would not want you to see.’ She sighed, frowning a little. ‘And you, are you in good health, sir?’

‘Yes. Working hard and doing well, with Jack’s help.’ I smiled.

‘He looks up to you, sir. Always saying how Master Shardlake managed to win this case by undermining the opposition, that one by turning up new evidence.’

‘Does he?’ I laughed. ‘Sometimes the way he talks, I feel he thinks I am a noddle.’

‘That is just his way.’

‘Yes.’ I smiled at her. When we first met two years before, on the King’s Great Progress to York, I had been suspicious of Tamasin’s confidence and lively personality, which had seemed unwomanly. But in the course of shared perils I had developed an almost fatherly affection for her. Looking at the tired housewife before me, I thought, where has all that spirit gone?

Something of my thoughts must have shown in my face, for her mouth trembled, then two large tears rolled down Tamasin’s cheeks. She lowered her head.

‘Tamasin,’ I said, half rising. ‘What is the matter? Is it still the poor child?’

‘I am sorry, sir.’

‘Come, after all we went through in Yorkshire a few tears are nothing. Tell me what ails you.’

She took a shuddering breath and wiped her eyes on her sleeve before turning her tear-stained face to me. ‘It began with the child,’ she said quietly. ‘His death was a shock to Jack as well as me. They say when a child dies his mother will always have him quick in her heart, but he is in Jack’s too. Oh, he is so angry .’

‘With you?’

‘With everything. With God himself, he felt it cruel of Him to take his child. He was never much of a churchgoer but now he does not want to go at all. It is Easter tomorrow, but he has refused to go to service or confession.’

‘Will you go?’

‘Yes, though – though I feel the faith has been squeezed from me too. But you know me,’ she added with a touch of her old humour. ‘I prefer to keep on the right side of the powers that be.’

‘That is wise these days.’

‘Jack says I only go to show off my best clothes.’ She looked down at her apron. ‘Well, ’tis true that after wearing these things all week I like to go out in something nice. But I fear if Jack absents himself continually, questions will be asked, he could be in trouble with the churchwardens. Especially as he is known to have Jewish blood.’ She set her lips. ‘He wanted to carry on his bloodline through our child. It comes out when he is drunk.’

‘Is he drunk often?’ I remembered his dishevelled look that morning.

‘More and more. He goes out with his old friends and sometimes does not come back all night. That will be where he is now. And I think he goes with other women too.’

I was shocked. ‘Who?’

‘I do not know. Perhaps with female neighbours. You know what some of them are here.’

‘Can you be sure?’

She gave me a direct look. ‘From the smell of him some mornings, yes.’

I sighed. ‘Is there no sign of – another child?’

‘No. Perhaps I am like old Queen Catherine of Aragon, and cannot produce healthy children.’

‘But it is only – what – six months since your baby died. That is no time, Tamasin.’

‘Time enough for Jack to turn away. Sometimes when he is drunk he says that I would rule him, make him into some weak domesticated creature.’ She looked around the room. ‘As though you could domesticate anyone in this place.’

‘Sometimes Jack can be insensitive. Even cruel.’

‘Well, at least he does not beat me. Many husbands do.’

‘Tamasin –’

‘Oh, he apologizes when he is sober again, he is loving then, calls me his chick and says he did not mean his words, it is only his fury that God took our child. That I can share. Why does God do such cruel things?’ she asked, in sudden anger.

I shook my head. ‘I am not the man to answer that, Tamasin. It puzzles me too.’

‘Sir,’ she said, sitting up and looking at me. ‘Can you speak to Jack, find out what is in his mind? He is so unpredictable these days, I do not know whether – whether he still wants me at all.’

‘Oh, Tamasin,’ I said. ‘I am sure he does. And talking to him of such matters would be no easy thing. If he even discovers you have been talking to me of his marriage he will be angry with us both.’

‘Yes. He is proud. But if you could try to find out somehow.’ She looked at me beseechingly. ‘I know you have a way of making people talk. And I have no one else to ask.’

‘I will try, Tamasin. But I will have to pick my time carefully.’

She nodded gratefully. ‘Thank you.’

I stood up. ‘And now I should go. If he were to come in now and find you telling me your sorrows he would certainly be cross.’ I laid a hand on hers. ‘But if things become too much, or you want someone to talk to, a note to my house will bring me.’

‘You are kind, sir. Some days I just sit staring mopishly at that damp patch for hours, I have no energy and wonder what is wrong with me. The mould will not go away. However I clean it the black spots are soon creeping over the wall again.’ She sighed. ‘It is not like the old days, when I worked in poor Queen Catherine Howard’s household. Oh, I was only the lowest of servants, but there was always something of interest to see.’