Nick Drake - Tutankhamun - The Book of Shadows

‘Why are you here? It is very late. Has something happened?’

‘Let’s go outside.’

She nodded, uncertainly, drew a light shawl around her shoulders, and stepped through the doors into the garden. The maid quickly lit two lamps, then scurried away at a gesture from her mistress. We walked in silence to the pool, carrying the lamps, and seated ourselves on the same bench, in the dark, with just the lamps to hold back the darkness of the night.

‘Why didn’t you tell me about Mutnodjmet?’

She tried for a moment to look innocent, but then she sighed.

‘I knew if you were any good you would find out eventually.’

‘That doesn’t answer my question.’

‘Why didn’t I tell you? Isn’t that obvious? She is our terrible family secret. But why are you asking me? She could not possibly have anything to do with everything that has happened.’

‘You thought you were the best judge of that.’

She looked wounded.

‘Why are you saying this now?’

‘Because she is the person who left the carving, the box and the figurine.’

She laughed briefly.

‘That’s not possible-’

‘She’s an opium addict. As you know. She has a doctor. He calls himself the Physician. He has managed her need for his purposes. In return for carrying out the little tasks of leaving his presents around the royal quarters, he supplies her with the drug. So he keeps her in need, and she does whatever he requires. But what is more, that same man has also been killing and mutilating young people in the city, using the same drug to subdue them.’

She struggled to take it all in quickly.

‘Well then, you have solved the mystery. All you need to do is arrest him. And then you will have performed your task, and you can return to your life.’

‘She cannot name him. I am sure Ay or Horemheb can. But that is not why I am here.’

‘No?’ she said, apprehensively.

‘You have been visiting Mutnodjmet, and taking her out of her apartments.’

‘Of course I have not.’

‘I know you have.’

She stood up, offended, but she did not deny it again. Then she sat down, her manner more deliberately conciliatory.

‘I took pity on her. She is a hopeless creature now, although once she was not so pitiful. And she is still my aunt. She and I are all that remain of our great dynasty. She is my only connection to my history. It is not a reassuring thought, is it?’

‘You must have been aware of her addiction?’

‘Yes, I suppose I was, but she had always been strange, ever since my childhood. So I avoided thinking about it, and no one else ever talked about it. I assumed it was Pentu who treated her.’

‘And then, when you realized what was happening with her addiction, you felt you were not in a position to be able to help her.’

‘I did not dare intervene between her husband and Ay. There was so much else at stake.’

She looked ashamed.

‘I could not risk a public scandal. Perhaps that was cowardly. Yes, I think now it was cowardly.’

‘Do you think Mutnodjmet ever revealed that you would visit, and take her out, from time to time?’

‘She knew that if she did, I would no longer be able to come.’

‘So it was a secret, and you could trust her to keep it?’

‘As far as I could trust her with anything.’

She looked uncomfortable.

‘Let me be direct. Perhaps you have seen this Physician. Perhaps he did not know about your visits. Perhaps you chanced upon him, once.’

‘I have never seen him,’ she said, her eyes intent with truthfulness.

I looked away, disappointed again. The man was like a shadow, always in the corner of my eye, always elusive, slipping away into the dark.

‘But still you are afraid of something,’ I continued.

‘I am afraid of many things, and as you know I do not hide my fear well. I am afraid to be alone, and to sleep. Now the nights seem longer and darker than ever. No candlelight seems powerful enough, in this dismal palace, to keep the shadows at bay.’

She suddenly looked utterly lost.

‘I want you to take me away,’ she said. ‘I can’t stay here. I’m too frightened.’

‘Where am I supposed to take you?’

‘You could take me to your home.’

I was astonished by the idea.

‘Of course I can’t.’

‘Why can’t you? We could leave together. We could go now.’

‘At this time? When the King is to be buried, and all is uncertain, and then you disappear?’

‘I can return for the funeral ceremonies. Take me in disguise. It is night. No one will know.’

‘You think of no one but yourself. I have risked everything for you from the moment you called for me. And now you think I will risk my own family? The answer is no. You must stay here, in the palace, and oversee the burial of the King. You must assert yourself in power. And I will stay beside you at all times.’

She turned on me, her face suddenly crude with anger.

‘I thought you had nobility, I thought you had honour.’

‘I care for the safety of my family above everything. Perhaps to you that is a strange idea,’ I replied carelessly, and walked away, too angry to remain seated.

‘I’m sorry,’ she said eventually, lowering her eyes.

‘You should be.’

‘You cannot talk to me as you have done,’ she said.

‘I am the only one who tells you the truth.’

‘You make me dislike myself.’

‘That is not my intention,’ I replied.

‘I know that.’

‘I promise you, I will not let you come to any harm.’

She searched my face, as if for confirmation.

‘You are right. I cannot run away from everything I fear. It is better to choose to fight rather than to flee…’

We set off back up the dark path towards the lit chamber.

‘What do you intend to do now? Ay is anxious to proceed as quickly as possible with the embalming, the burial, and his own coronation,’ I said.

‘Yes, but even Ay cannot command time. The body must be made ready for burial, the tomb must be readied, the rituals must be meticulously observed; all of this takes the required and necessary number of days…’

‘Even so, Ay of all men can find ways to economize on everything.’

‘Perhaps. But how can he pretend the King is sequestered for so long? Rumour seeps out of silence like water from a cracked vessel…’

She suddenly stopped, her eyes alive with urgent thought.

‘If I am to survive, I have very few choices. Either I make an alliance with Ay, or with Horemheb. It is a brutal choice, and neither option holds anything but revulsion for me. But I know if I try to assert my own authority independently as Queen and as the last daughter of my family, I cannot yet command the support I would need among the bureaucracies and-despite Simut’s support-the army. Not against the aggression and ambition of those two.’

‘But surely there is a third way. You play Ay and Horemheb off against each other,’ I suggested.

She turned towards me, her face alight.

‘Exactly! Both would prefer me dead, but they realize alive I am a valuable asset to either of them. And if I could make each think the other wanted me, then, as men do, they might fight to the end to possess me.’

Suddenly, as she spoke with such conviction and passion, her mother’s face appeared in hers.

‘Why are you staring at me like that?’ she asked.

‘You look like someone I once knew,’ I replied.

She understood at once who that might be.

‘I am sorry for you, Rahotep. You must miss your family and your life. I know you are only here because I called to you to help me. It is my fault. But from now I will protect you with all my power, such as it is,’ she said.