Steven Saylor - Arms of Nemesis

I felt abruptly dizzy, so dizzy that I almost fell. My head throbbed. I reached up to press my temple, and felt a slick wetness. Even in the thickening gloom, I could see that the stuff on my fingers was blood. From the cut on my hand, I thought, and then realized that the blade had cut my other hand. Somehow I had struck my head without feeling it — or else the assassin's blade had swung closer to my scalp than I had realized.

Blood made me remember the cloak. I had dropped it when I fell. I looked about the bare stone and saw it nowhere.

There were more noises from the forest — a whinnying horse, a man shouting. I was confused and unable to think. I rode into the woods, towards the distant noises, but all I could hear was a rushing in my head, louder than the wind in the trees. The fog closed around me like gauze draped over my face.

'Eco!' I shouted, suddenly fearful of the silence. The world seemed vast and empty around me.

I rode forward. For all my watching and listening I was as helpless as a man without sight or hearing. The rushing in my head became a roar. The moonlight grew dimmer, pierced by bright, vaporous phantoms that darted in and out of the darkness. Death comes as the end, I thought, remembering an old Egyptian saying Bethesda had taught me. Death came for Lucius Licinius and for Dionysius, as it came for the beloved father and brother of Marcus Crassus, as it had come for all the victims of Sulla and the victims of Sulla's enemies, as it had come for Sulla himself and for the wizard Eunus, both eaten alive by worms, and would come for Metrobius and Marcus Crassus, for Mummius and even for haughty Faustus Fabius. Death would come for beautiful Apollonius even as it had come for old Zeno, who ended up a half-eaten corpse on the shores of Lake Avernus. Death would come for little Meto, who had hardly lived — if not tomorrow, then another day. I found a curious, cold comfort in these thoughts. Death comes as the end…

Then I remembered Eco.

I could not see or hear — I was blind and deaf, or else the night had turned black and the wind was howling. But I was not mute. I cried out his name: 'Eco! Eco!' If he answered, I did not hear. But how could he answer, when he was mute? Something trickled down my cheeks — not blood, but tears.

I fell forward and clutched my horse. He stopped his pacing and stood very still. The howling of the wind died down, but the world was still dark, for I held my eyes tightly shut. At some point everything turned upside down and I found myself lying on the ground amid the drifted leaves and twigs.

Some passing god had heard my prayer, after all. This night would be unending, and morning would never come.

I opened my eyes to a world that was neither dark nor light. Above me, in the gentle predawn breeze, branches creaked and groaned — or was it my own head cracking open?

I slowly pulled myself upright and sat against the trunk of a tree. My horse was nearby, casually nuzzling among the leaves in search of something to eat. My stomach growled; I groaned at the flashes of pain in my head. I reached up and touched dried blood — enough to make me queasy, but not enough to alarm me. 'Plenty more where that came from,' my father used to say when I was a boy and came home bleeding; he was neither Stoic nor stern, but knew how to put an injury in its place.

I stood shakily and took a deep breath, grateful, and not a little surprised, simply to be alive. I called Eco's name, loud enough for the hills to call it back to me. Shouting sent a thunderclap of pain through my skull. Eco did not appear. The world began to grow lighter.

I could search the woods for him; I could return to the villa. I decided instead to press on to Cumae, without Eco, without the bloodstained cloak. The funeral games would begin in a matter of hours. There was still a slender hope that I might be able to squeeze the truth from those who knew it.

The forest seemed to dwindle and contract in the growing daylight. From where I stood I could see the precipice where the assassin had attacked me; in the opposite direction I could see beyond the trees into the rocky region that surrounded the Sibyl's cave, and even glimpse a bit of the sea. And yet it had been so easy to lose my way the night before! Night and darkness rob men not just of their sight but of their senses. A blow to the head doesn't help.

I found the path quickly enough. After a few minutes I left the woods for the rocky maze, darting uneasy glances left and right, more afraid now of finding Eco than of not finding him. Again and again I saw the stump of a tree or a grey clump of rock and imagined it was his body.

No one was yet stirring on the little road that ran through the village of Cumae, but plumes of smoke rose from the houses of the early risers. I came to Iaia's house at the far edge of the village. No smoke rose from the ovens within; no sound or light issued from the windows. I tethered my horse and walked on.

I found the narrow path that led down to the sea, the same trail from which Olympias had emerged on the afternoon of our visit to the Sibyl. I followed the way downwards through the low brush. It switched back and forth along a steep slope, hemmed in by sheer stone walls. The path grew faint in places and disappeared altogether where it was interrupted by outcrops of weathered stone. A few times I slipped on loose rocks and had to struggle for balance. It was not a trail that anyone was likely to take purely for pleasure or by accident; it would have been more suitable for an adventurous goat than a man, or perhaps for a nimble young woman who had a good reason for taking it.

The trail came to an end amid a jumble of boulders at the water's edge, closely hemmed in by the sheer stone walls that towered above. The waves pounded the rocks and receded, leaving only a narrow strip of black sand for a momentary beach. I looked about and saw no sign of a cave or fissure. The stain of saltwater and the strange creatures that clung to the stones indicated that the tide could rise considerably higher, swallowing the boulders and leaving no beach at all. If the water now was at only mid tide, then at low tide the waves might ebb enough to uncover a beach a man could properly walk on, at least for a little way beyond the boulders. As it was, I saw no indication of a hidden way into the sheer walls. I had come to a dead end.

And yet, I had seen Olympias come up from this trail carrying a basket that was empty except for a knife and some crusts of bread, and the hem of her riding stola had been wet. I had seen how she blanched when Dionysius insisted on telling the tale of Crassus's weeks of hiding in the sea cave.

I steeled myself for the cold and stepped over the boulders onto the narrow beach. A moment later the waves came splashing at my feet and swallowed me to the knees, then withdrew, tugging at my ankles. I shivered at the cold and clutched at the stones behind me to keep my balance. The waves receded and then splashed again, higher this time, wetting me to the thighs. I hissed at the cold, forced my fingers to let go of the rock, and stepped forward onto the shifting sand.

I waded out until the water came to my waist. The ebb and flow of the waves pulled at me strongly, and the sand gave way beneath my feet as quickly as I could regain my balance. In such a narrow place, I thought, a man could easily be seized by an undertow and pulled out to deep water in the blink of an eye, disappearing beneath the surface, never to see daylight again.

What was I hoping to find? A miraculous cave that would open in the rock at my whim? There were no secrets here, nothing to see but stone and water. I took another step. The waves rose to my ribs. The water lapped against a slab of stone that peaked from the foam like a turtle's head, then splashed into my face. Sputtering and clutching myself against the cold, I took another step. The water rose to my chest and then ebbed with a powerful force that threatened to suck me into the depths. I grabbed the stone for balance and felt my feet pulled from beneath me. I clung to the rock as a leaf clings to a branch in a strong wind. The cold took my breath away. For a moment I saw spots before my eyes.